Out of the house two days a week

[charlesg]

My wife and I have a recurring engagement that keeps us out of the house two nights a week. Fortunatly, the place is baby friendly so we can bring our DD (5 months tomorrow).

The problem is the activity is from 8 to 10pm. It has not been a problem yet but she will soon be going to bed around 7-8pm and not 10:30pm. We are left with some options:

• Cancel this engagement all together.
  
• Leave our DD at home with a sitter two nights a week.
  
• Setup a place for her to start her night where
  the activity is and let her start her night
  there.
  
  Any opinions?

[bundle]

charlesg, it depends on how much you want to do it but if you do want to continue this arrangement, I'd certainly try for the babysitter option as IMO babies around that age do like to establish a routine - the familiar surroundings of home would be the stable bit - ok, they might not know the babysitter at first but you could make sure your dd is settled before you both go out. my dd went to nursery 2 or 3 days a week from 7 mths and it was a good age to settle her, before she went through a 'clingy' phase around a year old. Could just one of you continue the activity or take it in turns?

[charlesg]

We considered having one of us continue or doing it in turns but we really enjoy this time together.

So we're tying to find other alternatives before we resort to that or cancelling all together.

[bundle]

charlesg, I'm curious (ok nosey ) as to what it is that takes up so much time...just tell me to sod off if I'm being too cheeky!

[Linzoid]

Sorry, that makes me nosey too!

[charlesg]

I figured someone would eventually ask. :-)
My wife and I have been training in Martial Arts (Kyokushin Karate) from way before we had our DD. The dojo is a small familly operated school and the adult class from 8-10 is small (5 students). The owner and instructor lets us bring toys, matts or whatever we need for Chloe and doesn't mind us stepping off the matt to make sure she's okay.

[Tinker]

It's line dancing really, isn't it?

[judetheobscure]

Definitely leave the baby at home unless you are happy to have her up until 10.30 every night of the week. I tried to take my first with me everywhere as she needed bf but after about 7 months it didn't work. She needed to go down for the night at the same time each evening.

[Lindy]

I would definately get her used to being left with a babysitter - presumably you also have other social engagements etc that you would like to go to - we have employed babysitters (no family locally to help out unfortunately!) since our DS was 6 months, we have been fortunate in having two or three very capable teenagers who live near us, now they are able to give our 2 year old his bath & put him to bed with no problems which is great for us, and makes him confident & sociable.

[musica]

I'm going to disagree with everyone here - my dh and I have a weekly commitment that keeps us out till 10:30, and ds is very happy to come along, enjoys the difference in routine, goes to sleep happily when we get home, and goes happily to bed at 8:00 every other night. We've found it really helpful, as ds is really flexible now if we want to go out to friends and take a travel cot.

[SoupDragon]

I'd try to find a babysitter. With any luck, she'd be tucked up in bed before you left and would be none the wiser.

I used to take DS2 out til about 10:30/11pm once a month until he outgrew his first carseat. He used to simply sleep in it for the whole meeting and rarely woke up. He'd be in his sleepsuit before we went out and simply had a feed when we got home if he needed settling.

[Lil]

I always take the children to friends houses when we have a meal or whatever. I put the pyjama'd baby in its travel cot where it falls asleep and barely notices the transfer back to the car and then home. As long as you can put baby in a quiet place where she won't be scared, then you should take advantage of the next few months until she's more mobile and more aware (and might want to join in!)

[Bozza]

Supdragon's idea could work. Get baby ready for bed (bath, milk etc) and then pop in car and should drop off on way to venue, take out in car seat and put in corner still asleep, then reverse the process on the way home.

But this will only buy you a few months. As long as you can afford it I don't see a problem with a babysitter because you'll be able to do the bedtime routine before you go anyway.

[musica]

You may get more than a few months - ds is nearly 2 and loves his evenings out! But he is a very flexible child - has never had a routine (never had the chance to!), so he just fits in with what we do.