Nursery want to potty train DS 2.4 but it's not working so well...

[Piffy]

Nursery have said DS is 'next on the list' for potty training, but though he has managed to do the odd wee in the potty at home, usually by the time he tells you he has just done it. The first day they tried he had one small wee accident. The next day three wees and two poo accidents. He's only in two days a week so then it was over to me. After five changes of clothes by noon I caved and went back to nappies.

He's back at nursery tomorrow and I don't have a clue what to tell them or what to do. My instinct is he isn't ready but many of the children he plays with at nursery are evidently now potty trained. Am I just being a wuss and should I persevere? I'm worred if he gets nappies at home and pants at nursery he'll be confused and upset.

Any advice welcome!

It's up to you when to decide to potty train your son, tell them you don't think he's ready yet and you're going to leave it for a while.

No practical advice but it doesn't sound like the nursery are being helpful about this.

Being 'next on the list' doesn't mean that a child is ready - it is not an age thing is it??

DS1 is 2.4 aswell and nowhere near ready to be potty-trained and I would be horrified if his nursery suggested or told me to do it - it would be a complete disaster!!

I always thought nurseries were supposed to be child/parent-led and do as you requested - not the other way round

Can you explain to them that he is just not ready yet - surely it is easier for them for him to be in nappies till he is ready rather than mopping up all the accidents?

Don't be pushed into this, you'll know him far better than them and they should be following your lead not the other way round. Trust your instinct as a mother and tell them to back off.

Moshie and Ceebee are right. Just tell the nursery that you don't think he's ready, and you don't want them to try and potty train him yet. Tell them that you'll let them know when you're starting it at home.

It's not up to them, it's up to you. "Next on the list" is a crap reason for them to give you.

He was proud as anything when he did a wee on the potty, and last night he got out of bed and took off his pyjama bottoms then sat on the potty and came and told me he had done a wee. Of course it was in his nappy as he had not taken that off. But maybe he is nearer than I think and I'm just being lazy also I have one yr old DD who is just starting walking so I am wondering maybe its that making me unwilling, not him being unready. God who knew this parenting lark would be so full of tricky decisions!!

I think you being ready is important too as how you deal with things ie accidents, having the time, fitting it in can all have an impact on how it gos. I wish that i had left my dd a bit longer as starting to try potty training co-incided with starting to wean ds and was really not the best idea - we ended up leaving it a bit longer. Ended up being a bit of a rocky process which was delayed by various things including illness etc but we've got there and she's nearly ready to loose the night nappies. Have to say is a real learning experience all round the first time and i now feel better prepared for when ds is ready including telling other opinionated people to back off and I'll try when i think he and we are ready. If you wanted to make a vague start you could try offering the potty or toilet before bathtime to get him used to sitting but to be honest I'd trust your initial feelings about it all.

Putting your child in nappies isn't caving, it's being practical. Putting your child back in nappies and not persevering with trying to preempt toilet needs/listening when your child tells you they need to go is caving and IMO teaching your child to wee/poo in a nappy and making the job harder for you in the long run. If YOU are not ready to PT, then leave your child in nappies, listen when he asks to use the loo, and let nursery get on with it on their days. If he had just one accident on the first day I'd say he's ready. Their protocol is probably half hourly or hourly toilet breaks, which you may not be prepared to do. Also, at nursery he'll probably be happy to go and potty with them, but might resist at home.

DD is 2.6 and nursery recently asked me if we'd thought of potty training yet? I said, no, she's not ready and they said fine. End of.

Your child, your decision. Ignore nursery.