Discipline - at what age to start?

[likessleep]

My 13 month old DS is quite boystrous, but he does a few things which I am keen to discourage. Like scratching on purpose, hitting / smacking etc etc. He's also now much more mobile, and so putting fingers in DVDs, plug sockets etc, all totally normal I know.
We've tried saying 'no' firmly, but he just laughs, looks at me/DH and does it again.
We are quite happy to keep using distraction for a while, which seems much easier in comparison and he does stop doing the unwanted behaviour at the time.
When did you start 'disciplining' your children in terms of saying 'no' and them understanding/not thinking it is a game? I sometimes feel a bit mean when he is with older toddlers and he 'gets away' with more, where the older toddlers get told off. Your thoughts and experiences please.

You can't discipline a baby. Just be consistent in saying 'no'.Don't laugh, so he knows it isn't a game. Remove him or put it out of reach, whichever appropriate, or distract.

Agree with piscesmoon.

He does not understand yet.

Thanks for responding. We'll continue to say no and remove him from situation. What age do children start to understand what no means?

Quite young-whether they take any notice is another matter!

lol pisces

My ds does this, or did. He's just getting there and when I say no, he shakes his head and says dot, which I think means no (?)
I started saying no firmly at about 10m, I'd say no and move his hand away, when he did it again, no a bit firmer and move him away. It's difficult to tell when full understanding comes in so now (15m) I take his hand that is down the toilet or in the dvd player, get on knees and say no and explain why he shouldn't do it.
I think it's working..... He hit a girl at a party the other day so I got his hand and told him very firmly that he shouldn't do it. You've just got to stick with it as one day it'll just fall into place

thanks littleboy.
we were at music class this morning and all of the other children seem to do what they are told, like putting toys back in the box or sitting on their mums laps. because ds is the youngest one there (most of the others are 18mths-2years), he just doesn't understand these 'rules' and seems to spend a lot of the time getting upset that he wants a toy i have just taken off of him to put back in the box. or he wants a toy another child is playing with. i know one day he will understand these 'rules' but it just feels that since he has got a lot more mobile, feels much harder work! i guess every stage has its 'hurdles'.

When you reinforce the "no" with gently removing him from the fun he will start to understand. He doesn't need time out or anything at this age, way too young! Just removal and a gentle but firm "no".

Also, give advanced warning if you can. eg "In 2 minutes we're going to put this toy away/leave the hosue/put our coats on". Then give 1 minute, and then follow through. When it happens it won't be such a surprise and he'll get the hang of the advanced warning system and hopefully be less annoyed! Fair enough, really!

My ds is the youngest at his organised play groups and things as well and refuses to sit on my lap ffor stories and things like that. I've now taken to giving up sitting him on my lap and I sit him next to me or on a chair, when he sees the bigger children doing it, he can copy. For about 10mins.
I think the secret is not to get too stressed out or worried about it. It would be completely unreasonable for anyone at a playgroup or book reading to expect your 13mo to behave like he was 2/3y. I let my ds just get on with doing whatever when he gets fed up of the story, as long as it's not distruptive to the session no one will mind and I'll bet you're more worked up about it than others are.
Definately stick with the 'no' and discouraging him from behaving in a manner you deem unacceptable, but I wouldn't expect him to be on par with 18 month olds.

I think they CAN start to understand a bit at quite a young age... our DS is nearly 1 and I'm sure he does know what "no" means by now, and for some things at least, will obey it - sadly not for everything! It seems to work best when you can make it impossible for him to keep doing the "naughty" thing. 2 examples - while I'm getting dressed he likes playing with my trainers and would sometimes try to put them in his mouth. I would let him play with them, but if he tried to put them in his mouth I would say "no eating" firmly - we did a bit of baby signing (though I am useless at remembering to do the signs so he hasn't really learnt many) but I would also do the "no" sign or shake my head. Usually he would try again - often with a cheeky sideways look at me so I was sure he DID know he was being naughty and was just trying it on! - but if he kept doing it, I would put the trainers out of reach. After a few weeks, he would stop trying to eat them when I said no, because he knew what would happen, and I didn't need to take them away any more. A similar thing is if he tries to stand up in the bath, I say "no" and put my hands on his shoulders to stop him; and now he hardly ever tries it, usually only if we are away from home or something so it is different from normal.

It is much more difficult though with things where I can't physically stop him doing them - like crawling away/standing up during nappy changes; he's so wriggly I can't seem to physically stop him without risking hurting him, so there is no way to enforce the "no" and he continues to do it.

I think more complicated instructions would be a bit much for your DS at his age though, I think things like putting toys back in the box are quite a lot more advanced than a simple "no"...