Feeling guilty about having another baby

[mamakim]

Sorry i'm always whinging on here but mn is a lifeline to me with regards to my 16 month old ds. Been to a toddler group this morning and although my ds enjoyed it everytime he lost sight of me for a second i saw his bottom lip go and he ran around frantically looking for me crying. It made me realise he's still a baby and seems to need me more than ever in so many ways. I'm due to have no 2 in april and although it was planned i'm feeling really guilty. Feel like i should be nurturing ds rather than having another. Don't know if this makes sense. Did anyone else feel this way with no2 and did it all work out ok?

I felt that way, I have 19 mo between ds1 and ds2 and will have 18 mo between ds2 and dc3. I felt incredibly guilty when I was heavily pg as I didn't actually have another baby to look after but felt absolutely drained, I spent a lot of time with ds1, making the most of just having one and giving him loads of quality time but I found that made him very very clingy to me so for the last couple of months dh started to be more bath and story times and he also stayed over at my mum and dads so he was happy there as he would be going to them when I was in labour at short notice, although it was a home birth, i had hosp bag (just in case) and ds1's overnight bag packed and by door so he would have all familiar stuff with him.

I also think developmentally they go through seperation anxiety at this stage again so its not you or the way you are reacting to you, they need more than just their mums to nurture them and my dh loves the one to one time he was able to spend with ds1 - he felt I monopolised him when I found out I was pg as I did feel guilty.

my ds's are now 2.5yrs and 11 months and becoming good friends, yes you won't have as much time for each but giving them a sibling is a fantastic gift (my bro is 15 mo younger than me and we are close still so I love small age gaps!)

Thank you insywincy. You've made a good point, i am giving ds lots of mummy and ds time as i won't be able to all the time soon. I think this has made him clingier towards me actually. Thinking about it it probably is a good idea to get dh to do more with him, spend time at grandma and grandad's as th pregnancy goes on. I suppose i'm making a rod for my own back really although it's tempting to spend lots of time just the two of us. It'll be more of a shock to him when the baby's born if i carry on won't it.