Birthday next to Christmas - joint presents?

[chloemegjess]

Hi. My DDs first birthday is 29th December. When I was pregnant, all the family said they would always get her seperate gifts for Christmas and Birthday so she doesn't miss out, but already, on the first year, so many of them have said they got her x and that is for christmas and birthday. I understand if they got her a big present or something but they have got her exactly the same as what they have got her cousin, who is 3 months younger. I know he will get extra presents on his birthday.

I know she won't know any difference as she is still very young but I can't help in thinking she is going to get half the amount of presents because of having her birthday so close to christmas. It is DHs family really, as they have plenty of money so its not like it is really asking for much. Also, it is us that will end up having to buy the other stuff because she won't get as many presents, and we don't have much money at all.

Am I just being silly? I just can't help in wanting her to have a good birthday, where as I know being so close to Christmas, people just won't make the effort.

Our next baby is due in April, and I don't want the second child to have a proper birthday each year and not the first?

Am I mad in worrying about this so early on?

christiana I know what you mean about churlish... but I have been quite clear to people that we really would rather they gave her nothing other than their visit- she has so many toys, and isn't even 3 yet! But we often say this for DH and myself too- we don't need 'stuff' and I'd rather have nothing but company, than fill my tiny over-stuffed house with useless things.

We are lucky- we have a small family, and DH and I have always emphasised the getting together and eating or having fun side of christmas not the presents side. (We are not christians, and fairly non-consumerish, so never celebrated christmas until DD came along)
She doesn't expect presents from people who visit the house, so there aren't any fallen faces etc.
I'm sure this will change as she gets older though... next year it will be me posting asking for help, as I will be tearing my hair out

She has already started saying "when it's my birthday party, mama, I will...." which will be a little more difficult to deal with as I'm due DC2 10 days before her 3rd birthday

No joint presents. Definitely.

I know she won't notice this year but it is the principle of the thing. My DM's birthday is just before Christmas and even as children we got her separate presents - she used to get lots of 'joint' presents as a child and hated it.

How to handle it - for this year just delay some stuff to her birthday as she really won't notice, but for next year I would start making it known very early that you want to make her birthday a separate occasion and would rather she had 2 small presents than one larger one.

I don't know how you deal with it tactfully. DS2 is 22nd Dec (coming up to 2) and he is definitely seen off compared to his September older brother. As from I think next year, he will have an official birthday in the Summer. we are as guilty as others - we often go away at Xmas, and last year we spent the day in the car.

Welcoming your daughter to the “just after Xmas birthday club” it absolutely SUCKS!

First few years is fine, she won’t know, from 5 onwards I’d stop it- most important though, don’t do it when she is a adult- that’s when the suckiness of it all really kicks in!