Tips needed for ENJOYING (rather than just surviving) the weekend with small DCs!

[Pendulum]

It's that Sunday night feeling....

I WOH all week and count down the days to the weekend when I can spend some time with my DCs. However, by this time on Sunday I always feel frazzled, dissatisfied and guilty.

On Saturday, we had visitors (with small children) for lunch. DD2 is teething and screamed through most of it. DD1 (4.6) threw a strop and managed to keep it up for most of the time they were here.

I thought that maybe DD1 needed a bit of individual attention so today have been playing games with her, baking cakes and so on. More sulks. More screaming and grizzling from DD2. I feel I have been at their beck and call all weekend without any time to do anything for myself and it's still not good enough. DH feels the same, which makes things even more tense. And it's back to work tomorrow.

What can I do to help us towards a weekend where everyone gets enough of what they want to do? Will I ever have a conversation with DH or read the paper again? Please tell me it will get easier!

Good grief - I'm sat here thinking EXACTLY the same thing. My dd has either been sulky or having a tantrum nearly all weekend - DH and I seem to spend all our time saying 'no'. DS is only 20 weeks, but obviously needs lots of attention, so that is a real flashpoint.

We've tried doing things all together, separately, 'the boys' and 'the girls', but nothing seems to make the weekends more enjoyable. Sometimes it seems that there's not much pleasure in this parenting lark

No answers for you, I'm afraid, just rest assured that you're not alone. Maybe someone wise will come along with the answer!

Hi queribus - good to know it's not just me. How old is your DD?

Sometimes I feel I must be so mean-spirited and selfish. Everyone else seems to take simple pleasure in just knocking about with their children, but often a day with mine is like some kind of endurance test. Of course there are fun and happy times, and I wouldn't be without them for a day (although maybe a few hours would be nice....!), but more often than not one of them is crying or demanding some form of attention.

Things definitely got harder when DD2 (15 months) arrived. Currently they are both fighting over me so that if I cuddle one of them, the other bustles over and a fight ensues. I feel pulled in two, while DH probably feels a bit rejected.

Not much help, except to say that it does get better, I used to feel like this (and I only have the one dd) but now she is older I really look forward to the weekends and school holidays when we can do things together, even if it is only sitting together on the sofa watching Ballet Shoes on DVD.

pendulum and queribus. newsflash from the frontline a few years on: yes it DOES get better! honest!
you are describing the weekends DH and i endured more often than not for a long long time. things just suddenly get better, magically! i promise you. we used to get to sunday evening after a marathon battle with DD and DS (i'm talking about the years 3-5 or so) and look at each other as if to say 'is this really family life? bcs if so, it's SHIT, and someone should have warned us!' tantrums, meltdowns, no sooner one child happy but the other child having a crisis, desperately thinking of ways to entertain two very different children, cafe and restaurant outings tricky etc. DH often working at weekends which compounded my difficulties. argh! now, though, things are loads better. we're at the 7 and 5 stage and everyone is calmer, happier, more settled, and we actually have fun much of the time. (we still have crises though from time to time just to keep us on our toes )/hang in there. hey - i even read (a bit of) the paper the other day, and i'm sure i had a conversation with DH last tuesday evening! xxx

I found that lots of prearranged classes on Saturday worked wonders. Ballet, followed by music, followed by park,lunch,siesta,playtime, followed by a trip to swimming pool WITHOUT husband. Return to watch Dr Who, or Merlin (or video upstairs for those easily scared)and scrambled egg on toast. Same every Saturday in termtime. (first started this arrangement when they were two 4yrs and one6 now they are 6 and 8). I used to spend every weekend before that arguing with poor dh about what the PLAN was. Dossing around in a relaxed sort of way was always disastrous by 11 am with two boys. Also EAT one meal at weekend OUT, even if it's just baked beans at cafe in park.

Pendulum, I have a 7 yr old and a 9 week old and am permanently feeling that ds (7) needs more special time. What I've found lately though is I am much lower interms of ambitious projects, now I'll just go for a cuddle in bed or watch tv with him for a bit. He just seems to want my attention, also I'm trying not to entertain too much! I keep thinking Less is More.

Oh, thanks for the replies- my PC has been down for two days so I haven't been able to check.

Some very good suggestions- I totally agree with you swanriver that dossing seems attractive but always lends in tears mid-mrning. Prob is that DD2 still needs two naps so it's difficult to go from activity to lunch etc, but I can totally see how that would work when she is a little bit older. at the moment like ipanemagirl says `i thnk the older one just needs my company, esp. when I have been out at work all week, but DD2 does get very jealous when I cuddle DD1!

katiek, thank you for the reassurance- you have perfectly captured the essence of our weekends with your description. Seems like the magic point comes when the younger one is around 5- will not go wishing her older, but it does help to think that it will get easier.

hope queribus popped back to read this too!

sorry takver, didn't mean to ignore you

How old is your DD and when did it get easier for you?

try and build in a couple of hours when you and DH have time off ie the other one has both children. Dont do jobs in the evening or watch TV if that is what you normally do - do something different eg spend evening in bed, watch new DVD, get takeaway, have long bath - so it seems like you have a weekend too. Dont plan too much (but mine are a bit older - 8,5,2 and all girls) so you can relax together. Let them amuse themselves - it will come. Let them watch TV if it gives you a break. Find things you like to do as a family - we cycle and walk dog and go to National Trust places. Build in lots of coffee and cake opportunities.

not feeling ignored, she is 6, has been much better for maybe a year, now we even get to read the newspaper in peace!