How do I teach my 15 month old the meaning of "not now/in a minute" without him getting upset?

[JamesAndTheGiantBanana]

My ds has started to love being read stories, which is lovely and I do want to encourage it but his way of asking for a story is to literally hit me in the face with his books (we'll work on that) and he'll do this when I'm on the phone, or have a hot drink in my hands, or when I'm eating (although we do generally eat at the same time, at the table so that's rare)

If I try to say no, or "in a minute" he cries his eyes out. If I attempt to ignore him, he gets very frustrated, and either way he gets upset and I feel mean, but now and then I have to answer the phone, and surely it's the right time to start teaching him about "in a minute"? How do I teach him without upsetting him? Thanks

But "in a minute" just means "no" or "not now" doens't it? So say "not now" or "no" and walk off!

Trying to disguise "no" or "not now" as "in a minute" is not going to make it any better .

Just stand up when he does it and walk away until you've finished. No need to be shouty or cross or guilty when he gets upset. That's life and he'll cope.

I'm presuming if you're chatting to friends etc you'd finish the call swiftly to play/read to him - and put your coffee down promptly etc etc. No need to make dcs wait on principle.

Hi James!!!

I get that from my ds but honestly if I look at him and say 'wow, a book, you do it!' in a ridicullously fake happy voice he usually sits down at the side of me and pretends to read it himself, I then try and OVER praise him and say how clever he is and what a good boy he is for doing it all by himself and he is so proud and happy.

Not sure if it will work but it kind of works at distracting my ds and also gives me a minute to finish what I'm doing and then I can read to him myself when I'm done.

I don't know but if you find out let me know so I can try it on my Aug 06 dd!

Could you buy a kitchen timer and set it for a couple of minutes (or however long you need) and say 'mummy will do x or y when the bell goes off'

Wait 20 years

what is wrong with saying no ,not now.
Ignore the crying afterwards
he'll get the idea soon enough

i say " dd get a cushion and sit on the floor ready and i'l read it after i've put my tea down". by the time she has dragged cushion round and plonked up and down up and down i'm normally ready to read it.

Hi Joe!! I'll try your tip about encouraging to read it himself when I'm busy. He also wants the same book read over and over and over again, which I assume is all part of this stage of development.

gargarin, the walking off makes sense as it'd send a clear message. The important calls aren't calls to friends usually, I keep in touch with most of them via facebook. I'm finding it increasingly hard to take phonecalls while he's awake these days as he tries to get attention by being naughty, climbing onto the TV unit etc

lol lunavix, I feared that might be the case...

Ooh, missed lots of posts, sorry. Thanks for your advice!

Oh God the same book over and over and over, not sure if it's developmental but if I have to read "Chocolate Mousse for Greedy Goose" one more time I'll scream! Had it all day today and cos he's got a cold and is a bit under the weather I haven't had the heart to make him change the book!

Kitchen timer worked for us.

I found it easier second time round. DD was used to being told "in a minute" pretty much from the day she was born. Unfortunately she now says it to me when I ask her to do things...

You make me feel bad - have never read a book to ds2!

Note to self - read him a book tomorrow!

same book over and over here too

atm it's the Yellow Pages, which we read for pictures of cars

I used to say 'Shall I tell you what is going to happen? Mummy is going to drink her tea and then we are going to sit on the sofa together and then we will have a cuddle and read your book. Would you like to sit on my lap while I finish my cup of tea and then after that we can go to the sofa and read your book?' etc etc. It does take a while - it's really hard for them to understand future time - but it does go in in the end. You have to keep emphasising the sequence of events, I think, so that they know what the next thing and then the next thing will be and that it will end with them getting their book. Hope that makes some kind of sense. DD is now 2.2 and really good at waiting until I've finished whatever I am doing so that I can attend to her.

try starting with the "when..... then...." principle- also useful when the tantruming phase kicks in. ie "when we've put your shoes on then you can go out" so when I've drunk my tea then we can read the book- DS usuauly looks mounrful at this sugestions (and ocasionaly on a bad day looses it) but does understand.....