DS, 4.5, having a complete relapse at school!

[f1owers]

OK - please be gentle with me - its my first post.

DS has been dryish for about a year (note the ish - he can go for weeks being as dry as a desert and then has a small accident for a couple of days running). As for being dry at night - 18 months and never had an accident!

He started school in September and slowly but surely things are getting worse. Yesterday he had 3 accidents and the school have just phone to say his shoes are wet and he needs new ones to go home in.

I don't know whether I am looking for advice or just support in the knowledge that I am not the only one who has this! I have checked with the school and asked DS about anything that might be upsetting him etc. He was in nursery from 6 months of age which I would have thought would exclude any separation anxiety?

Any advice welcome .......and the knowledge that I am not alone!!

Thanks
xx

You are most definitely not alone There have been quite a few posts about this since the Autumn term started, and I also speak from personal experience (DS having the accidents, not me that is!!) In my case, DS was potty trained at 2.5, and literally never had an accident, was fine at nursery school, was dry at night almost immediately but it all went wrong when he started Reception. We were having at least two accidents a week until about mid-October. His trick now is to hold on all day and then wee like Niagra Falls as soon as he gets in from school .
I think for a lot of children it is quite intimidating starting big school, lots of enormous boys and girls around and the loos (especially the boys') can be a bit grim.
Other than constantly reminding him and asking the teachers to remind him to go before/after lunch I don't know what else you can do. I am sure it will pass once he feels more settled.

You aren't alone!

DD doesn't have 'full-on' accidents anymore, but occasionally she leaves it too late so is a bit wet by the time she gets to the toilet

This is getting rarer though (she is 5 next month)

She's been a bit wet a couple of times when we've got back from school

Her reason - she was "too busy playing" to go

Lots of children don't like school toilets. They are not always the cleanest places, sometimes children hang about in there, and sometimes they tell each other stories about haunted cubicles or monsters in the toilet and other such nonsense which puts the wind up some children.

It may simply be that he's not keen on the school toilet, and so is trying to hang on.

Have a chat with him, find out if that's what's going on. Also check that he is being allowed to go to the toilet when he needs to, or whether he is too shy to ask to be allowed to go.

He may also simply be getting so engrossed in what he's doing that he doesn't listen to his body or forgets to go.

Yes - dd did tell me that she was "lining up" in the playground and needed a wee so asked the TA to go and they said no, she had to wait. Obviously this is only dd's word but if true I am a bit pissed off at it. It's Reception, FGS, she is 4 and ended up being wet until we got home at 3pm!

No, not alone. Ds has been doing pretty well, but has certainly come home with wet clothes once .. & I know a few of his mates have too.
I think its kind of a good sign in some ways - they're having so much fun/concentrating so going to the loo just seems low down their priority list!

I think the systems that the schools have in place can be a bit confusing too, in DS's class they can go to the loo whenever they want but have to put a peg by their name on the board. DS wet himself because there were not enough pegs left and so he didn't think he was allowed to leave! Also wet himself once at lunch because he didn't think he was allowed to leave the dinner hall. Sometimes it is all v.confusing as there are so many new rules to remember