Please - Somebody convince me this too shall pass!

[robino]

I have 2 DD's aged 22 months and 4.5 months. DD2's sleep is terrible. DD1's was until she was about 1 but I find it so hard to remind myself of that when dd2 isn't sleeping!

I don't think she's napping enough (45 mins x2 if I'm lucky) but I'm finding it virtually impossible to get her offto sleep. Will generally only fall asleep at the boob and then wakes with the slightest movement, even when I don't move until she's stopped twitching. Poor dd1 is watching an awful lot of cbeebies at the moment while I try to crack it. she v rarely sleeps in pram/buggy.

In the evenings she's exhausted by 6 and I am trying to at least be feeding her by then, ready for bed but then she wakes every 45 minutes or so and generally needs to feed again to nod off. DP has had occasional success at rocking her, she won't take a bottle. after an hour and a half last night of failing to get her to sleep she came in with me, fed and dropped off for 4hrs. I'd just rather not cosleep the whole time cos I find it a bit invasive.

Don't think I can do CC, have the no cry sleep solution. I feel like I might be able to crack this if she were the only one I had at home and am finding all a bit too consuming at the moment.

Just remind me - this too shall pass, right?

It sounds like you're doing all you can, the only thing I'd suggest is swaddling her straight after her evening feed and putting her to bed with something to distract her, like one of those lights which makes moving patterns on the walls & ceiling, then leave her for 15 mins or so to get off to sleep. If she cries for those 15 mins, you'll probably have to go back in.

Good luck, and of course it will pass!

It will pass - DS was like that at 4.5 months too. Time to start trying to get her to settle herself to sleep (so yu get some rest) - try the no cry sleep solution and a dedicated wind down for naps/bed time (some quiet time, a quick story and then into room for milk and then sleep) - if DD1 will let you.

my DD (now 10mo) was almost the same, would fall asleep while feeding, wake up in 30-45 minutes, sometimes would go back to sleep if i'm lucky enough to attach her back to the breast promptly to give her another feed before she's fully awake. The only difference is that she had more than two naps like that a day. But I also thought she wasn't getting enough sleep because she was pretty irritable, etc. She slept a bit better at night, often would wake 30-60 minutes after falling asleep in the evening for a top-up feed though, and then was waking up every 3-4 hours for a night feed.
When she became a bit older (don't remember exactly when, around 6mo, i think), her daytime naps became longer (1-3 hours), although her nighttime sleep became somewhat worse with a feed every 2-3 hours

Check this book "Sweet Dreams: A Pediatrician's Secrets for Baby's Good Night's Sleep" by Paul M. Fleiss. It has a lot of information (the most comprehensive book on the subject i've seen) on possible reasons of sleep problems. Won't give you any ready-to-use step-by-step solution though, but it's pretty easy to work out your own based on the information given.

In my case I think DD was associating sleeping with pain because she had reflux and food intolerance which were getting aggravated when she was asleep, so she seemed to resist falling asleep. When she started to spend more time sitting than lying and her condition improved, she became more at ease with sleeping.
After her condition improved, persisting with many advices from this book (including a bedtime routine) together helped her quickly start feeling more safe and not resist falling asleep.

So, make sure your DD doesn't have any underlying medical causes of bad sleep first. Then use bedtime and naptime routine, spend more time outdoors, make sure your DD spends enough time in active play, is not overstimulated, etc
And do have a rest yourself, then you will be more happy, calm and confident and hence more able to help your baby feel safe and secure when falling asleep.

I understand that it's easier said than done! Maybe try and get someone to babysit your DD1 while you put your DD2 to sleep, or have a rest yourself etc.