I just want some opinions on whether this is normal or if I am letting everything get out of proportion. Just to put things into context, I work full time and my husband is a fantastic stay at home dad. This was kind of my choice, although a lot of it was to do with who had the better salary. My husband is very happy in his role.
We have 2 kids and my job is very demanding. When I come in from work I love seeing the children, but feel absolutely shattered and generally after getting them to bed (we do one child each!) I just want to sit down and do nothing. I also work one morning / afternoon at the weekend too (because we desperately need the money). I am currently feeling guilty all the time. I feel bad that I work full time (and a bit more). It always raises eyebrows that i work the hours I do with 2 young children and people always 'admire' my husband for what he does. I also feel that i often don't give work 100% because I am usually tired as we still normally get up once or twice in the night. We again, take this in turns as I appreciate it is also very difficult for my husband to get up in the night and then do a long day in the home with 2 very busy children.
I feel guilty when I get in late because I already don't see the children enough. I also feel guilty if I need to do anything extra for myself at other times that involve me popping into town or stopping off somewhere that again, involves me from being away from the home.
I now feel exhausted from feeling guilty all the time. I don't know how to break this cycle and I know most mums feel gulty for various things, but I just feel things are getting out of all proportion. Is this normal? Sometimes I just feel like I want to run away from everyone and everything and be my carefree 21 year old self again. I hate feeling like this.