Any one got a 10 year old boy? Could you help me make this right please.

[deanychip]

Am bieng eaten alive by guilty feelings and cant stop thinking about this but dont know how to put it all right. Please advise as i dont know anything about the inner workings of a 10 year olds mind???

I look after a boy every other sat.
He is only into computer games, hand held/via laptop/via computer/via TV.

I have issues about this but then again its none of my buisiness as he isnt my boy.

Ok, a few weeks ago, he turns up with a bag full of stuff asking if he can set it up.
Last time he did this he had the back of my telly out, wires every where and we couldnt get the telly to work properly for about a week...he couldnt get his computer thingy to work either, so this is a no no.
Last week he turns up with the same thing...can he please set it up? I say no for the reason above but also because we have 1 telly in the house and this would have tied that tv up for the whole day so no one could watch anything on it.

About 2 months ago, i let him play his computer stuff on our PC, he was as happy as anything, but he downloaded a virus of some description and we had problems with the pc for weeks, dh couldnt sort it, had to take it somewhere to get it fixed.

Boy couldnt get his laptop going, dh tried for 2 hours....wouldnt work for some reason.
So dh let him on the PC, he said to him that if he wasnt sure about anything then to let us know, not to press yes to things that he doesnt recognise.....i then told him that he had downloaded a virus last time he used it, and as it is vital that i have my computer for my work, it is very very important that he doesnt do this again.

SO, feel awful now because im not even 100% sure that he did get us the virus...he plays these gamnes all day every day at home and nothing like this happens there!
feel so bad, poor little chap. dont know how sensitive he is or anything, because they can be cant they little boys

What shall i do... (i know i should be burned at the steak....)

I don't think you'll be burned. (I might be for this next bit though!)

Could you not, try to sort of wean him off the games when he's at your house? Easier said than done, but would solve the issue.

goes back to playing Spore Yes, I'm a hypocrit but I go to Uni and need to unwind lol!

My ds is competely addicted to any game on a screen as well. HOWEVER I have no compunction whatsoever in telling him that he cannot play on them for large periods of the day.
You will not kill/ traumatise/ upset him by saying no to his computer games... as long as you provide a different kind of entertainment for him.
Top Trumps
Board games like Mousetrap, chess, operation etc etc etc
Go outside and play football

If he is not into these things, then find something he is in to... only liking computer games and the like is not healthy

I don't think you said anything awful.
It is possible that he did download the virus accidentally.
It won't do him any harm to realise that he needs to be very careful when using your computer.
I'd limit him to a couple of hours, fwiw, and then take them all to the park.

My DSS spends hours at his mums on the computer and tv (he is 12). But at our house was told when he was 8 that there was no computer or telly except if something special he wanted to watch.

He to our complete surprise accepted it and never complained and only asked for the odd Dr Who.

Waste of a childhood otherwise imo.

Its hard but he doesnt do anything, he is overweight and has no interest in anything. his parents have the most awful arguments with him about it, and in the end jsut let him go on it all the time, before school...rows about bfast, getting dressed bieng late, after school, rows about meals, bath and bed time.
You go to the house and he doesnt speak to ytou, jsut glued to the screen.
Itsnot heathy.

When he comes to us, we go out and he jsut trails behind us, head down, not speaking, grumpy. Its hard to see that he enjoys bieng with us, and its very hard bieng with him iyswim.

It's not unusual for 10 year olds to want to play games all the time. My ds is 10 and he would play games all day as well. Getting him to do something else is quite hard work. We have to really dress it up and usually invite a friend over for him to play with. Maybe he just doesn't fancy the activities you're providing as an alternative. Why not offer to take him somewhere with a friend? My ds also really loves the Games workshop. It's expensive to buy the stuff, but it keeps him off the games. I get the feeling that you don't really like having him and he's bound to pick up on it if that's the case. He may be using his games as an escape.

MIne know that they can play at certain times of day only. Could you try something similar, take him/them out at the other times? How is it that you have him at weekends, do his parents work then?

ahh no! i love love him, i have looked after him since he was a tiny baby, he is part of our furniture and i adore him like my own.

But i struggle with this aspect and would never do anything to upset him or make him feel uncomfortable that is why i am asking for advice because i feel awful for having said that to him....awful.

his parents both work on a Saturday, i dont so he comes for the day.

It's kind of you to mind him Deany. Could you lure him to lazerquest or something?

my boy is 5 and we dont really have the money for lazerquest, sound expensive and more for older children. Is it?

Yes - it's both!

Bowling? You can often get vouchers. Lazerquest is I think about £3.50ish perchild, depending on where you go. My ds has been going since he was 5 - they certainly get a workout in there!

Ask his parents for money to entertain him Deany - they should be stumping up the cash for things like that.