Sometimes I feel like a good old moan but my Hubby always shoots me down - anyone elses do this.

[mummatoone]

....just like today. The last month Ive been a shoulder to cry on for at least 2 of my friends, I listen and give advice. Ive done this all my life. Ive never had anyone to talk to and have just got on with it bascially.

I didnt get much sleep last night, didnt get much of a lie in - just felt rubbish today. Got stressed this evening as LO messing around as ove tired and hubby just said "well thats life" you just have to get on with it. I KNOW, I KNOW but sometimes why shouldnt we have a little moan and get a bit of sympathy!!! It is very, very rare I do this but today I just felt really tearful and as Ive said "rubbish".

Moan over - Im just now "getting on with it"!!!!

Dont stop now-have a little wallow and a hug here, lol!

Like I said its very rare I do this and all I want is perhaps a HUG. Other than this my Hub is brill but sometimes he really, really does get my goat!

Oh yes. Sometimes you really need to rant or moan or whinge and for the person you're telling just to say "You know what? That does sound shitty. Poor you, you're having a crap day." Acknowledgment of your gripes without trying to jolly you out of it or dismiss it or fix it. Very important.

hey mummatoone, here to offer a hug too, thanks for replying to my thread.....

Moan away on here! I know my dh has a low tolerance for moaning. We on the other hand will always listen to you in a non judgemental way!

This is my DH. I even contemplate moaning and I get mental shut down from. God love him lol. I have a friend who keeps praising me for never moaning....if only she knew the truth!

Men typically like practical solutions, not hugs and cups of tea. If they can't fix it, or tell you how to fix it, they're not interested. Actually, that's unfair, but male brains are just not really wired to give sympathy without advice. It does help to realise this ... but it would also really help if they would try to understand the female brain a bit better, and just try to offer the unconditional shoulder to cry on!

I always feel like "God why did I even bother haivng a moan" or searching for that small spec of sympathy!!! Anyway thanks for your words...I feel tons better now and once again "Am getting on with it today"!!!

I had a day like this on friday, I had an early night and a long lie in and when I came down dd2 and dp were dancing round the kitchen and dp make me a cup of tea and the world was a brighter place, we all have our off days we all need to moan now and again too.

yes, agree op! you sound a lot like me!

my dh see's things in black and white and always gives me a "logical" answer, when all I want is a cuddle and some reassurance

or if I'm being too emotional for him he stays very quiet and almost blanks me as he has nothing to say

Interesting to hear you say that DCMB. DH can't just appreciate a moan as just offloading and says he always feels obliged to find a solution. He hates me moaning for this reason. It appears I cannot complain about anything, unless I'm also prepared to set up a pressure group to change it!

Years ago I read Men are from Mars Women are fro, Venus and one of the only things that has stuck with me from that book was the theory that men like to problem solve and women like to talk.

If I come home from work and say 'Such and such really annoyed me today she did x,y,z.' DH will instantly say 'Well what you need to do is.....' I actually say to him sometimes 'I don't want a solution I just want to complain'.

I know exactly where you are coming from. Sometimes DH's reaction feels almost dismissive even though i am sure he doesn't mean it to be.

I find that if I announce I need a moan and a hug it does take the pressure off and dh is less likely to offer up an unwanted solution!