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Holly2 · 08/03/2003 07:53
Was just reading Happydays' message on another thread and was wondering just how much we affect our childrens' behaviour. I've often wondered if my ds is a little over-zealous, whiny or over-active sometimes due to vibes that he may be getting from dh or I. Does anyone know much about this? We have fought in front of him sometimes, which I know is not good, but both of us also get quite agitated if he behaves badly in front of other people and perhaps this only makes him behave worse. He's a good, loving little boy most of the time but there are also times when he drives me to distraction and I find him hard to control. He also finds it hard to sit still and gets very over-excited sometimes.. this may be typical behaviour from a 30 month old but I can't help wondering if we are encouraging him to act in a certain way... hope this all makes sense.
Ghosty · 08/03/2003 09:59
Holly ... I know what you mean here ... We are going through a bit of a new thing at the moment ... Whenever I am cross with DS he asks me if I am happy. I think somewhere along the line I or DH must have told him that we were not happy when he was naughty and I know that I have said to him that I was 'upset' at times after he has done something he shouldn't have. I am now worrying whether he is going to be one of those people that will do anything to make people happy ... which isn't a bad thing but I don't want him to grow up a 'doormat' IYKWIM!
I have always wondered about the 'nature/nurture' thing and I sometimes feel a little overwhelmed at the responsibility we have to make our little ones into whole, well rounded grown ups ...
jac34 · 08/03/2003 12:37
If one of my DS's get really stropy, I ask him if he's sad. If he says yes, I then ask why. As children are so honest he usually gives me the reason, often something that completely passed me by. The reasons have been varied,eg Because you did not listen to me when I told you ....., because you woke me up,or because, yesterday you said, I could go behind you in the car and you've put Tom there...etc. Often things we do in a rush, that has upset them in someway. I usually say sorry and make a fuss of him and he's quite happy.....strop over with !!!
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