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Help needed with my angsty 11 year old :(

7 replies

Fiveplusbump · 12/11/2008 11:43

He is the eldest and is the only boy ,he is a very bright boy and I am always getting comments from people about his maturity and good behaviour ....however at home it is a diffrent story he acts like a brat he often uses words like freak and idiot to his sisters and his dad and also refuses to go upstairs if he is punished for anything which then means dp or myself physically moving him to his room and he fights and pushes .
He lies about what he has said and just lately comes out with things like we don't love him and the girls are the favourites .
He also mutters things about me under his breath when he is in a mood (this drives me the most mad) and has taken to blanking me for example this morning I shouted him 4 times to fetch a letter he wanted me to sign and he just carried on laying on his bed flicking through a magazine ,he laso blanked me on the way up to school .

He can be so lovely and caring and gets a lot of attention of us and some other family members plus os involved a lot with sports at school.

I just dont know what to do I dont want to be shouting and nagging him all the time but its getting me down .

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Fiveplusbump · 12/11/2008 14:05

bump

OP posts:
mrsmaidamess · 12/11/2008 14:19

It sounds like your forms of discipline are not working and need to be addressed. I'm not sure if physically moving an 11 year old is right?

Have you read 'How to talk so your children will listen' I know it gets mentioned on nearly every behavioral thread but it really is so helpful and full of practical things you can do and say to get the desired response from your child.

Sorry you'vre had a hard time. Its ounds like he is having ahard time too though. He may just be about to enter the terrible teens 2 years early.

Tortington · 12/11/2008 14:22

i bet the letter he needed signing was for his benefit

seriously think about these things dont do things to stop him getting introuble else where

normal behaviour btw.

when my kids say "you always love x more" i tell them
" i don't love any of you now bog off!"

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Fiveplusbump · 12/11/2008 14:42

I did sign his letter and I didn't put anywhere that I had not I just said he blanked me . I don't mean pushing him and barging him upstairs I mean taking his arm and walking with him upstairs .

I usually tell them I don't have favourites I dislike them all equally .

I am sad for him because he seems so upset and angry but there is nothing for him to be upset or angry over he is popular at school and doing well .

I just dont want it to be always be a battle.

OP posts:
mrsmaidamess · 12/11/2008 16:31

get the book.

misshardbroom · 12/11/2008 19:29

Is the book the 'How to talk etc.' one by Norman Wright or the 'How to talk.....and listen so your kids will talk' by Adele Faber?

Sorry to butt in, just wanted to know which one to buy!

herbietea · 12/11/2008 19:35

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