Are people right when they say 'You never have 2 children the same'???

[lauraloola]

Hi, I want to start ttc next year but everyone keeps telling me 'you never have 2 the same'. Obviously not but its seems as though everyone is trying to put me off by telling my 2nd will be a complete nightmare.

Dd is 5mo and very laid back, easy to care for and a joy to be with all day every day.

Would love to hear peoples experiences and if your dc really are very different or very similar.

very different

why would people try to put you off??

tell 'em to go jump

gawd, no-one would have subsequent children (or first ones for that matter) if they listened to all the doom-and-gloomers

1st born screaming nightmare, didnt sleep till 5.5 years.
2nd laid back happy thing, slept from 6 months onwards and I was getting woken up by a huge toddler while the baby slept on
DD1 is now a quiet 10 year old and dd2 is a drama queen, so role reversal as they age.

They have different attributes, and are individuals in their own right.

So, yes, no two children are the same nor should you expect them to be.

I think that you are over-analysing what people are saying to you, people say the most inane things, no?

(My two are as chalk and cheese)

I have 3 and whilst people are right in saying u dont get 2 the same it doesnt mean you will automatically get a nightmare 2nd time round.

DD1 complete mare, difficult to BF, screamed lots for 12 months and didnt sleep a full night for 2 and half years. Still wingy and demanding now as 6 year old.
DS v laid back slept through (7-7) by 8 weeks, trying as a toddler though
DD2 v strong willed, had diff stopping BF, slept through by 10weeks, toddler years remain to be seen only 7 months.

If the time is right for you to start TTC thats your business no one elses, good luck to you.

my ds1 has always been easy, as a baby, as a toddler and still as a 6yo.
People said this to me when I was pg, everyone said "you will never have one as easy as ds1".
And no, I didn't.
ds2 was extremely hard work as a baby - BUT it was actually easier than ds1 had been as I had some inkling of what I was doing (which I didn't with ds1).
He never slept, he fed all the time, he couldn't be put down.
And, I wouldn't change him one iota.

I know! Dd is an angel now - She wasnt to start with and Im sure she will change when she starts teething!

I hate the way some people try to put a downer on things.

I cant wait to have dc2 and to see how different/similar to dd he or she will be

Ok, first of all I just want to say that you wouldn't want two children to be the same - and just tell 'em that when they say it!!

My children are gloriously different and I love it!
My two eldest have just got their school reports and whilst my eldest daughter excels in music/drama/dance/art etc my younger daughter excels in maths/reading/science etc. My eldest is thoughtful and sensible, my younger daughter is wild and carefree.

I think its wonderful that they're so different

In their early years dd1 was quiet and almost aloof (strange thing to say about a baby, lol) and my second daughter was smily and giggly and extrovert. My third daughter will do anything to make you laugh and is the funnyest little thing ever

That said, both my older girls slept through early (6 wks and 3 wks) and were really pleasant babies so were very similar in that vein.

My dd3 only slept through at 9 months though ...so maybe you need to avoid having a third

My 3 are all completely different but not better or worse than each other. dd sounds like yours, ds1 a joker (who's hard work but out to make poeple laugh), ds2 a complete dream baby.

Don't worry, your no.2 may be even better than no.1.

mine are lovely but i must say quite similar. i feel very lucky. they are who they are!

Two DS's - both completely different.

DS1 - quiet, sensitive boy, does not believe in himself.

DS2 - loud, on the go, never stops, no inhibitions, has to be the first to do everything.

However, they were both good babies, slept through from an early age, DS1 potty trained from 2.5yrs and DS2 potty trained himself just before he was two.

Mine are basically delayed twins, although their different experience arising from birth order has shaped their personalities and differentiated them.

Two peas in a pod. A bit spooky with number 2.

I thought that if I treat them the same they would turn out the same. How wrong was I

DD1 (5) -confident but quiet, very motherly, a great interest in learning, articulate, reserved, needs a lot of reassurance, thrives on praise. Can be selfish and materialistic. No common sense and unable to follow simple commands.

DD2 (3) - confident and noisy, very very funny, has no interest in learning, struggles with her speech a little, not at all reserved, needs a lot of love but not in a needy way. Has a very carefree attitude. Doesn't give a stuff about praise. Very giving and very polite. A lot of common sense and very perceptive.

They're like chalk and cheese, but for some reason they go well together and I love them both so very very much.

DD2 was a much easier baby tha dd1 (we made a rod for our own backs with her though).
She is now 18mo and is becoming more like her big sister in every way - v. cheeky and adventurous.

DD was very laid back, slept through from 13 weeks, quite an easy baby really

DS was also laid back, didn't sleep through till 2.5yo but also was very easy going.

Mine very different - but it really is a good thing watching them develop their sibling relationship. DS2 is already walloping DS1 as he's massive and DS2 is a skinny little rabbit. They differ in physical appearance as well as personality.

each child is an individual.

unless you are into cloning them of course.

Mine are chalk and cheese too.
ds1 - quiet and sensitive, little bookworm now but was a very boisterous toddler.
ds2 - text book baby, slept through, no terrible twos at all, but now he's loud, cheeky, hilariously funny and very very confident and outgoing.

Wouldn't it be boring if they were the same?

Oh goodness, no two children are the same.

You can expect them to be polar opposites in all things except the things you want them to be polar opposites in and then they will be the same.

So what if your second one is harder to handle. You have baby experience now, you will be fine. Don't let them put you off - No. 2 will be just as adorable at No. 1 even if they are completely different.

I have 2 boys
chalk and cheese from the conception, through birth and to today.

My two dd's are very different. They are also both absolutley wonderful.
Being so different also means they are very good at helping each other. Outgoing dd2 helps dd1 out of her shyness. Cautious and calm dd1 is excellent at keeping dd2 amused in situations where a little bit of quiet may be called for.

The best bit for me was dd2 was a really cuddly baby and dd1 saw how nice it was and at long last began to spontaneously hug me and even other people which she hadn't done before!!!!

i have 3 kids and both my boys who were born 8 yrs apart are nearly exactly the same in looks temperament and personality its spooky my dd is completely different though.

People said that to me and I thought "Oh good, my second will be one of those nice quiet placid babies that is happy to just lie there and sleeps all night". Yeah right! DS is very different to DD, but that's just it, he is different to her, not her opposite (and is even less placid and a worse sleeper than she was!)

Of course no two children are the same! Mine are chalk and cheese on many things and very similar on others. You can't assume how one child will be by looking at an older sibling.

It's not an unkind thing to say. It's just true. I just didn't realise quite how true it was until I had my second child. I realised that it wasn't my fault that my DS1 had done certain things in a certain way nor was it my fantastic parenting that had helped him do other things .