"aggressive" /painful 10 month old

[pamelat]

I appreciate that my DD is not meaning to be aggressive, but she really physically hurts me and DH.

If we try to "cuddle" her or hold her still (anywhere near our face) she really scratches, puts her fingers in our eyes or head butts me in the mouth!

I know she is "exploring" but I have a lot of scratches and she actually turned my lip blue the other day (bruised)

Are all 10 month olds like this or is there something that we could do to try and calm her down.

We say "no" but she normally laughs and does it harder I think she is a bit young to understand no.

We do cut her finger nails but it still hurts. She is a lot worse if she is tired (like today when she has been with MIL and only had a half an hour nap, she normally has an hour and a half at lunch but refused to sleep for MIL).

My daughter was exactly like that at ten months. And after. And occasionally is still like that.

We did this thing of grabbing her hand every time she say, scratched my face, and saying "no, be gentle, be gentle", and making her hand stroke, instead of scratch, my cheek. It definitely worked, because these days if she gets a bit rough (she's now 15 months) and I say "be gentle", she stops being rough and starts stroking.

I think they're just over-enthusiastic. My daughter has unstoppable amounts of energy, and I think it's related to the roughness, I don't think it's agression as such. She's like a dog though. Now that she can walk, I have to take her out for a run in the park every day, even when it's pouring with rain, or she's unmanagable....

Thank you Mochan. I think I prefer to think of it as over enthusiastic. She has been like it since about 6 months but its definately at its worst.

Also, she isnt crawling yet but really wants to (she tries but then collapses on her tummy) so I think she has a lot of energy which she isn't getting rid of.

I have said "no, careful with mummy" each time but so far she has squealed with delight and done it harder.

She is worse with me and DH so maybe its her trying to be affectionate, or just playing.

I was just worried because we tend to be try to be "fun" parents with her and am wondering whether I need to calm things down. For example, we spend most of the day (am on maternity leave) playing and singing so she is often quite excited.

I spend all day with my daughter, but we don't play much - she plays on her own for a lot of it, whilst I work (I work from home and only occasionally go into my office) and I don't wind her up but she's still extremely hyper.

I would definitely try the stroking thing I mentioned, because instead of just telling her not to do something, you are offering her an alternative thing to do, and as she gets older, she'll start to understand that it's preferable.

At this age, they don't really get it; my daughter is now, I think, pretty clear on what 'no' means, but still ignores it most of the time, so the best thing is to gently lead by example, I think. I find, also, on the occasions that I've raised my voice (try not to, but it's happened a couple of times) she finds that really funny and obviously thinks I'm playing a game.

I do think she'll get better though. My little girl was definitely getting better by the 12 month stage.

my 9 mth ds is exactly like this. I was beginning to think he was hyper active. he also laughs when i say no.

only suggestion i have is to put a rolled cusion under her tummy so she can practise her crawling by feeling the sensation of being lifted off the floor.

also i've got a great bouncy chair that tires him out - baby bjorn 123

Oh, and re the crawling - it's frustrating but it might be that she'll pick up walking more quickly. My daughter was cruising very competently before she could crawl competently, and only really got the hang of it around the same time she began walking at 11.5/12 months.

Thanks all. She is now the only baby in the antenatal group (16 babies)not crawling or walking. I think it is frustrating for her as the other babies (we meet at least twice a week) are able to do a lot more than her (physically).

Will give the stroking alternative a go.

She's still young, of course - a lot of babies don't get moving until well after twelve months. I know it's frustrating to have to wait, though.

Does she have a playpen? I found that it was a real benefit because my little girl could 'cruise' so easily with it.

my dd is 9 mths and does exactly the same. More with her dad than me but can really hurt when she takes a swipe at his face. I think she is being playful and exploring. She is crawling and cruising so don't think it's anything to do with un-spent energy. We are also doing the whole 'no, gently' thing but with little repsonse at the moment!

No playpen yet. I was waiting until she was on the move to buy that but maybe it will encourage her.

A little boy (same age) was lying on the floor at the toddler group and she took his toy and bashed him on the head with it, oooopppss. She then looked at me and laughed, she is a minx.

The little boy didn't mind at all. Maybe its all part of learning about boundaries .

all four of mine have gone through this stage, not all to the same degree as your dd, but they've all had a go! dd1 was the worst I think - she would also do the cheeky look and laugh if I said no.

With all of them I tired putting them down on the floor and 'ignore' them for a bit (20-30 seconds). They eventually learn that hitting / scratching / biting doesn't get a reaction, just leads to them getting ignored. My babies all hated not having my attention!

Good luck

I tried not tired.

Although I am tired! ds is 10 months. He thinks sleep is for the weak....

It was her 10 month developmental assessment today (well 9 -12 month but she had it at 10) and I mentioned this.

HV advised that each time she does it, to put her away from me on the floor and basically follow bumpybeckys idea of "ignoring" her.

I tried it after her bath and she threw a huge stop!! Will see how it goes, she screamed and threw a tantrum, waved arms and thumped legs etc. Madam.