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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

decided not to go to uni does that make me a failure?

41 replies

nikcola · 13/03/2005 17:06

im doing a access course at college in health and social care ive applied to uni to do diploma in adult nursing and ive decided i dont want to go to uni, im not regecting my place im just going to defer, just incase i change my mind, ive never really wanted to go to uni, but ive allways wanted to be a home carer (sp) or work in a elderly peoples home, everyone at college thinks im mad for not wanting to go to uni but i really dont want to go, i juat want to work with elderly people thats all i ahve ever wanted to do,

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nikcola · 13/03/2005 17:07

does this make me a filiure cause i dont want to go ?

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HUNKERMUNKER · 13/03/2005 17:08

No hun - do what makes you happy. If uni would make you miserable and working with elderly people would make you happy, then go for it!

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SeaShells · 13/03/2005 17:08

Not a failure at all! You have to do what makes you happy, good luck with whatever you decide Nik.

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PuffTheMagicDragon · 13/03/2005 17:08

Much better to defer the course than start it, and possibly give up during it. I think you're being sensible if you are unsure at the moment.

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nikcola · 13/03/2005 17:10

my tutor keeps trying to convince me to go (i think she gets a bonus for each person that goes to uni !)

i only done this course cause i went for interviews at elderly peopls homes and they all said the same thin g that i had the caring side but i wasnt qualified well i soon will be ,

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tamum · 13/03/2005 17:21

If this access course gives you the qualifications you need then definitely don't worry about it. Why do something you don't want to do for 3 years? They should be falling over themselves to employ you

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RudyDudy · 13/03/2005 17:26

agree with the others - definitely not a failure. If what you want to do that will make you happy doesn't require a degree then why would you go there for 3 years? I think it's great that you have found something you are good at, that makes you happy and is an incredibly worthwhile thing to do. Good luck with it

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nikcola · 13/03/2005 17:43

thank you xxxx

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motherinferior · 13/03/2005 17:44

I think it's really important you do something you feel fulfilled in and confident about. So go for the work you want - you can always go to uni later if you decide you want to build on your experience with more qualifications.

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nikcola · 13/03/2005 17:56

i think the home caring would be perfect for me i love working with people and elderly people is even better

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Ellbell · 13/03/2005 20:33

Nikcola

You are most definitely not a failure for not going to uni - especially not if you don't feel you want to go. AND... if you decided that you wanted to go later, there is nothing stopping you. Even if you don't take up your deferred place for next year, you can always go back to it in future. My sister left school at 16 (she hated it) and worked for years in a bank (first as a secretary and then working her way up to more senior jobs). When she was about 30 (maybe a bit less) she decided to do a degree. She did it by correspondence course (really hard, she has my greatest admiration) and got her degree last year. I am so proud of her. I think she had to work a helluva lot harder than I did (doing A'levels and then going to uni at 18). So, anyway, it's always possible to go back.

Also, I think it's great that you want to work with elderly people. I live far from my parents and really worry about what will happen to them when they get older or if one of them isn't well. I keep trying to persuade them to move, but it isn't going to happen! But it's great to hear of committed and caring people who want to work with older people. (You hear so many horror stories.) Well done.

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Ellbell · 13/03/2005 20:33

Nikcola

You are most definitely not a failure for not going to uni - especially not if you don't feel you want to go. AND... if you decided that you wanted to go later, there is nothing stopping you. Even if you don't take up your deferred place for next year, you can always go back to it in future. My sister left school at 16 (she hated it) and worked for years in a bank (first as a secretary and then working her way up to more senior jobs). When she was about 30 (maybe a bit less) she decided to do a degree. She did it by correspondence course (really hard, she has my greatest admiration) and got her degree last year. I am so proud of her. I think she had to work a helluva lot harder than I did (doing A'levels and then going to uni at 18). So, anyway, it's always possible to go back.

Also, I think it's great that you want to work with elderly people. I live far from my parents and really worry about what will happen to them when they get older or if one of them isn't well. I keep trying to persuade them to move, but it isn't going to happen! But it's great to hear of committed and caring people who want to work with older people. (You hear so many horror stories.) Well done.

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Ellbell · 13/03/2005 20:34

Grrr... stupid computer. I swear I only pressed the button once! Sorry...

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Ponka · 13/03/2005 20:39

Nikcola,

You are so not a failure. Don't give in to your teacher or others who think they know what's best for you. Why do some people think that going to University is the only way to "succeed" in life?

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ionesmum · 13/03/2005 20:40

nikcola, how can you be a failure? You have found a way to do what you have always wanted to do. Moreover, you will be caring for people who really need someone like you to look after them. Being a kind person, offering someone who needs it a helping hand, that's worth a thousand times more than a degree. I just wish I were more like you.

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cloudy · 13/03/2005 20:50

Nikcola -- you want to do something wonderful & giving by working with elderly. I can't believe you think that makes you a failure. I couldn't do it, I have a PhD but I admire you for wanting to do something that's not in me to want to do.

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oooggs · 13/03/2005 21:33

Not a failure at all. Making the decision now is braver than going through with it because you think that is what is expected of you.

Be happy in whatever you choose to do.

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maisystar · 13/03/2005 21:38

not at all, i decided not to go because i really feel the ned to go back to work in sept(when ds starts school). so i am gonna find a job, hopefully in a school, and do a ou degree starting feb 06.

have you thought about ou??

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maisystar · 13/03/2005 21:39

lol, need not ned

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Smurfgirl · 13/03/2005 21:57

Not a failure, I adore working with old people, and you can do your NVQ2/3/4 in care so its not like you can't get any qualifications!

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Janh · 13/03/2005 22:05

nikki, DD2 (she is 19) has been working in a care home for 6 months now - she loves it and really enjoys working with and talking to the residents. Word of warning though, she has 2 problems - terrible dermatitis/eczema on her hands from washing them all the time, and backache/general tiredness from 10-12 hour shifts and all the lifting. Otherwise she loves it - she is lucky that the home where she works employs enough people so there is time for them to sit and talk and listen. She is very very fond of the residents and I'm sure you will be too.

You can do NQAs while you work and end up with good qualifications; the only downside is that the basic pay is crap when you start . But no, not going to uni doesn't make you a failure.

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Janh · 13/03/2005 22:06

Or NVQs

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Ellbell · 13/03/2005 22:06

Nikcola

Forgot to say that, yes, your access course may well be 'judged' according to its 'success' in getting people into university. And this may well be why your tutor is pushing you. (S/he may also be genuinely trying to do what they think is best for you, of course; but you are the best judge of that, not them!) I think you must do what feels right to you. I work in a university and I see how much heartbreak students go through if they start on a degree course and end up dropping out (for whatever reason). You sound really committed... go for it, and good luck.

(Really will try to hit 'post' button carefully, and only once this time...)

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nappybaglady · 13/03/2005 22:21

nickola

Don't think you're a failure at all. Successful people know what they want and go get it. Sounds just like what you're doing.

Well done for staying true to yourself and for choosing to work with the elderly (I'm with you on that)

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Gwenick · 13/03/2005 22:42

I agree with the rest - go with your heart - I was supposed to go to university - had 3 unconditional offers at 3 very good universities - accepted one with deferred entry so I could go on my gap year.

Had my 'life' plan all worked out -

18 - Gap year
19 - Univerisity
24 - finish degree (scottish university so 4yr course)
26 - hopefully have found a job and start 'looking' for a man

28(ish) - get married

30's - have children.

Well I'm about to turn 26, have been married just over 5yrs have two wonderful boys and am HAPPY - because I made the decision which I knew was right for ME. My dad wasn't happy that I forfeited university - but I know I'd have dropped out as I had no real interest in the course - but (I think) he's glad I made the choice I did.

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