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Parenting

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PLEASE share your coping techniques for dealing with fussy eaters....

39 replies

dinkystinky · 07/11/2008 21:23

to help me keep my sanity. I'm using the "this is just a phase and will pass" mantra to help me deal with the pretty frequent occasions when DS, aged 2 and a half, will not eat his food (am lucky if he eats half his breakfast, half his lunch and two mouthfuls of dinner at present) but is wearing really thin! We ensure he is offered a wide mix of foods (stuff he likes, new stuff, all delicious, well flavoured and presented in an attractive way) but nothing doing at the moment... He is a happy, healthy little boy otherwise so am determined not to turn mealtimes into a battle ground but sometimes its all I can do to stop myself from grabbing up a spoon or fork to shovel some food in his mouth! Any coping techniques from fellow longsuffering parents out there would be much appreciated...

OP posts:
Thankyouandgoodnight · 09/11/2008 20:46

How it works in this house:

'Roolz':

Water offered freely all day.
Sometimes we have fizzy water with meals for a treat.
Milk first thing in the morning and last thing at night only.
No juice unless we're 'out'.
If I've made cakes, they will be offered 45 mins to an hour after a meal so seen as a different event.
No snacks 1.5 hours before a meal.

Breakfast by 9am.
2nd breakfast offered by 10am if we're still in - toast etc to be eaten while playing (ie not at the table)

Fruit (including good old solid bananas!) / veggie sticks offered as snacks up until 11am just left lying around or offered frequently if we're out and about so they know they're there to help themselves to - freely available from breakfast time until then, then removed.

Lunch by 12:15pm
Soup, sarnies or 'tapas' of ham, cheese, tomatoes and other finger foods etc
Fruit is also offered but generally declined

Naps

Fruit / veggie sticks (sometimes a biscuit) offered as snacks up until 3:30pm just left lying around or offered frequently if we're out and about so they know they're there to help themselves to - freely available from nap time until then, then removed.

Cooked Main Dinner at 5:15pm unless absolutely starving in which case we'll have it by 5pm.
Sometimes yoghurt / stewed fruits is offered - never a 'proper' pudding like apple pie or rice pudding unless in the higly unlikely event that I've made one. Generally it's just the main course.

45 mins later I will offer toast / fruit which will be eaten if hungry and rejected if not.

Some children seem to eat better at 4ish than 5ish, or lunch time, so I guess working with that might be helpful?

Thankyouandgoodnight · 09/11/2008 20:49

Little tummies (and indeed bigger ones!) actually do better with lots of little meals than our cultural 3 a day.

Also - I find that they eat properly once a day really with snacks as a different entity entirely. See snacks as your route in to getting the fresh fruit and veg in - if that's all that's on offer, they soon develop a taste for it. If they don't like fruit in it's whole form, try smoothies for breakfast or as a drink mid morning if you're at home.

Thankyouandgoodnight · 09/11/2008 20:50

And if you find that you're throwing loads of food away..............

make less

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whomovedmychocolate · 09/11/2008 21:10

twofalls - I do offer something else but like others wait at least an hour so it's not just 'I'll hold out and see what else is on the horizon'. I also (sneaky trick coming up) make sure she's had some exercise after her missed meal so she is really hungry before the next one.

Having said DD today has eaten one piece of toast and a banana

But she's not exactly wasting away so ho hum, it doesn't matter!

pushchair · 09/11/2008 21:59

thankyouandgoodnight that sounds incredibly healthy! Wow. How old are your children?

Thankyouandgoodnight · 09/11/2008 22:35

Believe it or not, it's actually the lazy option!!

Actually - thinking about it - the morning seems to be the best time appetite wise, tailing off towards the end of the day.

Also - I never get stressed or cajole or 'get involved'. DD has just started wanting to get down 3 minutes after sitting down for dinner so I let her but I carry on sitting there eating a tiny something if I'm not actually having dinner at the same time (I don't always) and she soon comes back if she's hungry. She can be a bit yoyo like at times, which is fine. If she isn't hungry, then she won't and I clear it away after 20 mins and then offer her something 'boring' like toast at the next 'slot'.

2
plus daily visitors of similarly aged children, up to 6 years old who will eat in our house but not at home .

PussinJimmyWhoooos · 09/11/2008 22:50

Oooh at this thread! DS is the eater from hell...am very worn out with it all. He eats loads in nursery but anything I give him at home is viewed with deep suspicion and I've tried LOADS of differnt meals

I think I'm responsible in that in the early days, my PFB'ness meant that I was worried he would waste away if he didn't eat so would sometimes offer three different things (yes, I know...rod...back....). I'm getting a little more chilled out and going down the route of if he doesn't eat it, take it away with no fuss and offer something boring an hour later but he will not try anything new!

The only thing he seems to eat at home main meal wise is:

Cheesy pasta
Waffles
Scrambled eggs and beans
Pizza

I'm at it as I love cooking and have made him some lovely meals from scratch but no, he wants the junky diet...

dinkystinky · 10/11/2008 09:21

Thanks ladies - good to know am not the only one biting her tongue and trying to be zen.

Tried the new bowl trick and new spoon trick last night (asked him to pick the bowl and spoon he wanted to use when he refused to even taste his dinner) and he ate the best dinner he's had in weeks! Thank you whoever suggested that - genius.

Also have some play lunch dates coming up in the next few weeks. Will let you know how those pan out.

OP posts:
smugmumofboys · 10/11/2008 09:40

My two are slightly older (4 and 6) but if they try to be picky with stuff I know they usually like I smile sweetly and tell them, "OK, there's nothing else to eat. Your tea/lunch has finished. You may leave the table."

The result is that they either a) decide that they will eat it or b) they leave the table, no-one got cross, no battles were fought but I did not offer anything else.

whomovedmychocolate · 10/11/2008 16:11

puss - actually you don't need to worry too much if he only rotates five foods - some people thrive on this sort of diet - DH only eats chocolate, cheese sandwiches, ready salted crisps, steak, carrots, any form of fried potatos and red wine. And he's bloody healthier than me

Seriously though it apparently gets better once they get to school because they see other kids eating other stuff then go home and depend the same foods - turkey twizzler anyone?

dinkystinkyclaus · 15/12/2008 11:33

Well, DS's eating did improve. But then he had a tummy bug and its back to square one. Ho hum.

Reesie · 15/12/2008 20:22

My dd is 2 and over the last three months seemed to survive on only a few mouthfuls of food a day. Maybe about 2 teaspoons of porridge, one bite of a sandwich and nothing for tea... I never got stressed about it and would just keep giving her whatever we were having for food. I suppose the reason I didn't worry was that she has always maintained a good weight - she's tall and looks really sturdy!

On days where she really didn't appear to eat anything at all - I would give her a bottle of milk mid day (she has always loved milk).

For the last fortnigh she has completely changed and now eats absolutely loads!!! I really don't know what flicked the switch.. I think most children go through a fussy no-eating stage. I really think that you have to let it pass and just keep things as low key as possible as long as they are not rapidly losing weight. I'm not a dietician/HV/psychologist by the way - just my own dodgy opinion!!!

Reesie · 15/12/2008 20:24

Oh yes - During her non-eating phase I also used to leave little plates of healthy snacks around the house and she would sometimes graze over them.

swanriver · 16/12/2008 09:37

Invite some other children round to tea, (with their parents), and observe their habits and their parents' habits. This is salutary, because you get to see how fussy some other children are (which is cheering), and if they are well-behaved your children MAY copy them!
I think milk as a drink is extremely filling, and could be the cause of refusing other foods. And it can always be given (if you are worried about intake) in the form of milk puddings or cheese.

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