please help im getting a bit up with ds keep pooing his pants!

[AwayWithTheFaries]

ds is 3.7 and been dry for months but he keeps pooing his pats
if he has no pants and trousers on he will go on the potty but he wont take them off to go about 3/4 weeks ago he had a upset tummy so i put nappies on him for a few days prob not the best thing to do but ds was getting upset with keep pooing everywhere
so any ideas on how i can help ds get the idea that he needs to take his pants off before doing a poo!
iv tried telling him and off ignoring it

i have only just potty trained ds 3.9 and we successfully have done wees in a few days. He has only had 2 accidents in over a week, but he wont poo in toilet, still does it in pants. Doesn't like it when its in there so can't understand why he does it. I keep getting told thid is normal but don't know how to deal with it. Other ds didn't do thid. Any advice anyone?? x

I've been trying to potty train ds1 since half term and he is also pooing in his pants.He gets very upset and tbh he doesn't seem to know when he's about to go.Today I asked him if he needed the toilet,he said he didn't and 2 minutes later he'd messed himself.I've no advice but I'm interested to see what others suggest.

I've posted this before, but it might be lost in the archives now.

My dd was about the same age as your ds and would only poo in her pants. It drove me insane. I had a chat with a teacher at DD's nursery and came up with a plan. Obviously your situation may be different to ours and so it may not work for you, but it really did work almost instantaneously for us. OK, this was the plan.

1. Absolutely no reminders about going to the loo. None, none, none. Very hard to do for me.

2. Casually drop into conversation every so often "Babies do poos in their nappies, but Mummy and Daddy do poos in the loo, and so do big girls like you. All your friends at nursery do poos in the loo" .

This resulted in the first poo in the loo for 3 or 4 months. I almost fell over backwards.

3. When there were accidents, then I waited for my DD to tell me. Sometimes I had to wait for up to 30 mins. The time got shorter and shorter.

4. After she had told me, I would say "Oh well just let me know when you want to get cleaned up" and then I walked away. This was to get around the marvellous game of running away from mummy. Sometimes I would have to wait for half an hour or so. I would occasionally remind her that if she wanted to get changed she should let me know.

5. When she said she wanted to get changed, I encouraged her to take off her trousers and pants by herself, as much as possible. I handed her some wipes and then let her clean herself up as much as possible. While she was doing this I turned away to clean up her pants, or would leave the room and just let her get on with it. When she was clean I would give her new clothes and tell her to put them on. I would not praise her for cleaning or getting dressed but I also wasn't nasty at all. It was all very matter of fact. Throughout I would aim for a zen like calm!

It was only through using this approach that I realised how much negative attention I had been giving DD for soiling. I had thought that I was being calm but actually I was so wound up by it all that my crossness came out through odd comments, gritted teeth and general tenseness.

In the first week we had almost complete success rate. Unfortuantely it all got messed up because we went away for a week and I think I started to fall back in my old ways. Once I resumed "the programme" things again resolved themselves almost overnight. For us, the key was definitely in me changing my behaviour and staying calm.

Incidentally, I think if your child is constipated then a different approach may be called for.

Good luck!