Any potty training gurus about? Could you tell me where I am going wrong?

[ohdearwhatamess]

Trying to potty train 2.5yo ds1. Started about 10 days ago. First 2 or 3 days weren't too bad. He sat on the potty (if bribed, never freely) and did wee and poo in there a few times, but there were lots of accidents too. One time he even brought a potty to me and said he needed to wee, and then did. Was given lots of praise.

Since then nothing. He just wets himself and doesn't seem to care (pooed himself today and did get upset). He gets hysterical when I suggest using the potty, but is now refusing to wear nappies too.

We had 3 days back in nappies (last one yesterday) because he has been quite unwell with a cold/flu thing.

What you're doing wrong is having unreasonable expectations that your DS, who has been taught to wee/poo in a nappy would take a sudden paradigm shift in stride. How would you handle it if all of a sudden you were to start writing right to left?

You are not doing anything wrong, don't worry. If he will wear nappies again, just put him back for 6 or 8 weeks, and during that period you could occasionally mention that when he is a big boy he will wear big boy pants, and at other times speak about the AMAZING things big boys get to do, eg visit the zoo or eat pizza or buy lego or anything you can think of.

If he won't wear nappy now, then just play it down. Calmly (!) remind him in the morning that he is a big boy now and that he can tell you when he wants to use potty or go by himself and will get reward. Don't make too big a deal, and evaluate progress after 1 week, then 2 weeks. It feels like a looooong time, but 3 or 4 days are really not enough for them to get the hang of it (usually). Most importantly, just relax about it in yourself, this is not a big deal. When he is 5 he will be using loo like everyone else. 2.5 is really very little still. Forget about nephew's performance/MIL opinion etc, your little boy WILL do this in time.

Good luck!!!!

Thank you, LMT, I know you're right. He is due to start pre-school in 8 weeks time and needs to out of nappies by then, which is why I was getting frustrated that it doesn't seem to be working out for us.

But it won't be the end of the world if he has to start a bit later.

I was hoping that there was something obvious that I could do differently which would have magical results!

Plus the fact that he has been unwell can't be helping. If I was lying on a sofa feeling sorry for myself i guess the last thing I'd want is someone cajoling me to have a wee.

ohdearwhatamess - the preschool can not insist that ds is out of nappies I believe. I work with two year olds and most of the boys are still in nappies until several months before their third birthdays.

My own ds was just turning three when we cracked it, we tried at 2.4 but he simply wasn't ready.

Oh I do hope that is the case at our preschool. I'd only heard 3rd hand that it wasn't. I'm seeing the lady who runs it next week so will ask.

Did you put your ds back into nappies for the intervening months or just endure a lot of accidents?