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will he ever go through the night

19 replies

sarahg31 · 12/03/2005 22:32

I am currently at my wits end at the moment and I am struggling to get my ds2 to go through the night. he wakes up at least three times for a feed and he is now 19months old. I am also having trouble getting him to go into his own bed as well and my other ds has picked up on this and wants to sleep with me as well. he is six. Being a lone parent as well I am shattered what with coping with a demanding six year old as well who has epileptic fits every day. When will I have time to train DS2 sleeping habits!!

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ionesmum · 12/03/2005 22:37

Poor you, my dd1 didn't go through the night until after she was two and dd2 had just arrived. Before that it was exhausting and I only had her to deal with! I did gradual withdrawl with her and it did work eventually. Big hug - hope it all gets better soon, you are doing a fab job!

sarahg31 · 12/03/2005 22:39

Thats what everyone keeps telling me but I am down to just under eight stone now and getting worried about my health. Thanks for your comment.

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ionesmum · 12/03/2005 22:46

What support do you have?

unicorn · 12/03/2005 22:46

strooth, and I complain!

Ye gods woman, you are doing fantastic, but you need to get tough - the only way you can have enough strengh to look after your kids, is to look after yourself.

So here goes,- the hard stuff...

At 19 months ds shouldn't need feeding through the night.
It is probably just a habit that has developed, and now needs to be stopped.

Make sure he has enough food during the day, then, (is it milk he is waking for?)start watering down his nightime bottle, until eventually it is just water.

If that doesn't work you will have to do CC (Feber method)..
but please do something soon - as you urgently need a good sleep.

ionesmum · 12/03/2005 22:48

Agree about the water.

sarahg31 · 12/03/2005 22:52

It is milk he is getting up for. I have been told to reduce it each night by an ounce and wean in the juice. I have no support only the ed psychologists and specialists for DS1. Have been told recently he may need a brain op with a 10% chance of survival as drugs r not working. he has had the condition for 4 years so poor DS2 has been somewhat neglected and have not had a chance to get him settled on my own. so for an easier life I have had him with me during the nights. I need to get it nipped in the bud now b4 it's too late.

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ionesmum · 12/03/2005 22:56

sarah, I don't know what to say.

Have you tried contacting an epliepsy support group re your ds1? Maybe there's some support out there for you. Have you tried posting on the Special Needs topic?

Re ds2's sleep, does he have his own room? Where do you want him to sleep?

sarahg31 · 12/03/2005 23:05

have contacted everyone who can help. They have all told me it's a timing thing and to keep persevering. I want DS2 in his own room which he has and has never been slept in. It's trying to concentrate and deal with one thing at a time. time which I don't get to myself normally. sorry to sound so depressing but I don't know what to do and what effect it will have on my kids in the long run.

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unicorn · 12/03/2005 23:08

it must seem overwhelming, but try and break it up into litle bits..

So, deal with what can be dealt with first... ds2 sleeping through the night. Has the Health visitor been any use?

Either way you must take control of it, and yes, it may seem harsh, but it isn't, it is for the benefit of your family unit.

ionesmum · 12/03/2005 23:11

sarah, you don't sound so depressing at all, my goodness you are strong!

With the gradual withdrawl thing, I put dd in bed and lay with her til she went to sleep. After a couple of nights, I sat up. Then sat on the edge of the bed until she fell asleep, then stood beside the bed, then by the door, then outside. Now it's just a kiss and I go! Things that helped were a favourite cuddly, and a music cd played every bedtime. Now if she wakes up I put it on and she goes back to sleep. This method took ten days max.

Try spending some quiet time in ds2's room so he gets used to it.

Whereabouts are you?

sarahg31 · 12/03/2005 23:15

The health visitor hasn't been that helpful. I know this will eventually get better and will hopefully improve in time. I know I will get there. Thanks

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sarahg31 · 12/03/2005 23:17

I am in Broxbourne in herts. Where that mum drove her car in the river.

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ionesmum · 12/03/2005 23:21

That was awful.

Do you have other mums to talk to? What about your G.P.? Or is there another Health visitor at your clinic?

sarahg31 · 12/03/2005 23:24

i have made an appointment with my gp. ds2 has just woken again screaming. just given him his milk. 2nd time in a hour. here we go again

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ionesmum · 12/03/2005 23:27

Best of luck. I really feel for you. Keep posting, maybe someone can come up with something better than I have!

Hope you have a better night. xxx

ionesmum · 12/03/2005 23:38

Got to go to bed now. Take care. xxx

sarahg31 · 12/03/2005 23:38

nite nite thanks for advice

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ionesmum · 13/03/2005 10:42

Hello Sarah. Did you have a better night?

louisse28 · 13/03/2005 22:52

I am so sorry to hear of your story.
My son was quite a little monster when it came to sleeping. I currently ( as I am sure it will change in a few months) try the gradual retreat method, but it only works when he falls asleep. I have tried leaving before that but he just jumps up and checks where you are. So far I haven't moved away from his cot yet, and have been trying this method for 2 weeeks. Still when he does fall asleep he is out for the night ( from 7-7) so I can't really complain.
Stick with it, and it will reap rewards.
Take care, my thoughts are with you...

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