I can't take this - please tell me it will change soon

[Otterchocdog]

My DS is going through a phase where nothing ever seems to please him, and lots of stuff seems to wind him up. He's just learnt how to communicate a bit by saying "more" if he wants something and "yes" and "no" and a few other words, so I thought his frustration would ease up a bit.

It's things like this:

If I join in trying to play with him, he gets cross and slaps me and pushes me away. He will bite me, sometimes to the point where I have a nasty bruise and have to yank him off before he breaks the skin. Also pulls my hair.

If I put a sprinkle of cheese on his pasta or a swirl of honey on his porridge he gets really upset that I've changed it, and starts screaming.

I'll say "do you want your ball/duck/book" etc hoping that eventually we''l come to something he does want and he'll say no to each one, but gets frustrated and starts screaming before we find something.

If I offer him a piece of food he just tosses it across the room.

He just seems different than usual and quite angry. I just feel there is something wrong and I'm not coping with it properly.

I was quite upset looking at videos when he was younger at Christmas etc, because at the time I remember thinking "Oh this is a bit silly he's not really interested in this present" and sort of going through the motions of it (he was 8 months then) but in the video you can see that he is really interested in the paper and even in the toy inside and that I was just not really seeing it and going too fast as if he was an older child. Same on another clip where I gave him a bit of my spaghetti where he was just fumbling with it in a babyish way, playing with it (so I thought at the time)and so I took it away, but looking at the clip you can clearly see by his eyes and body language that he was trying to eat it, that was his intention, but I couldn't see it at the time. I felt sad and guilty watching it, and now I'm wondering whether something similar is happening.

The thing is we've both been ill and I've been very laid low with flu so I don't know if it is just that he is tired and convalescent and tetchy? Just like me?

I feel like I'm letting him down, he just seems disappointed and angry.

Please don't flame me with a load of psychoanalysing...it doesn't take a genius to work out that I'm probably projecting a bit (yes, I do feel a bit disappointed and angry at life in general).

Please, I need practical tips to help me be better with him. I feel like I'm really tired and needing to reach deep deep into the barrel to scrape up some cheerfulness. Maybe he senses it?

Right so he's been lying on the floor having a screaming tantrum since 5.18 it is now 5.54. He is hysterical and won't be consoled. Is this normal for 18 months? Could there be something wrong with him? Isn't that a long time for a tantrum?

Managed to distract him with a xylophone, within 10 seconds he went from total sobbing hysteria to normal, no red face or anything. Thanks be.

I do feel for you. If he was a happy little boy before then I'm sure it's just that he's feeling under the weather.

My ds was always a grumpy baby so when he has a foul day now I tend to just TRY and ignore it.

Don't forget that as he develops, his frustration re language will heighten until he can tell you what's bothering him. It's a difficult age as you know.

My ds is 15 months and still flips out over nothing some days and it goes on and on and on. It's hard but try and keep calm and keep remembering it will stop.

I do agree with MrsMattie though, it all sounds normal but it is magnified when you are ill or he is ill. It makes everything so much worse when you are tired and I do think you should get as much help to give you a break. My dh works 12 hour days so I do symapthise with you being on your own so much.

I do really feel for you, it will get better, please remember that!

ds is about the same age and was HIDEOUS for about three days last week. turned out to be a cold and teething - once the cold passed he miraculously turned into a happy little boy again. sounds as if the virus is maybe lingering - worth a GP checkup?
it can get into a vicious circle where becuse they dont feel well they dont sleep well, and because they're not sleeping well they're tired, and because they're tired they're evil, and so it goes on...maybe concentrate on getting his sleep right (agree with all those who said be brutal about the nap: also if he seems tired, put him to bed early) and he may become better tempered? ds definitely tantrums more when tired. if he has been poorly he probably has missed out on some sleep and needs to catch up. good luck!

When DS was 18months ish I can clearly remember several afternoons when we both ended up sitting on the kitchen floor in tears!

SOrting out his nap really worked wonders (not least because it gave me a bit of time without him each day) he needs at least 2 hours or he really loses it.

He had a spell where he was even worse than ususal, he had been ill but no longer had a temperature. Turned out he had an ear infection.