Is DS just being a two year old boy?

[waitingtobloom]

Am quite upset by this one and not sure what to do so would welcome any ideas.

DS is 2.3 and DD is 8 weeks. He adores her and has had few jealousy issues - he cant wait to see her and loves being around her.

He is still going to nursery a couple of days a week whilst I am on maternity leave and usually loves it. He has made friends who he talks about (in 2 year old language!) all the time.

Recently though he has been getting quite rough with the other children - refusing to share, snatching, pushing them around. Nursery had a word with me the other day telling me he was being like this and I feel terrible.

The thing is he is not like this at home. Yes he has tantrums and yes when he is with his friends at home he sometimes doesnt want to share but certainly doesnt hit or push them around.

I am at a loss at what to do - he is getting enough sleep, doesnt appear to be jealous and I am making sure he still has mummy time - which in fact he doesnt want he wants baby to play too. As he isnt like this at home I cant really deal with it here. I have tried talking to him about it and saying it isnt nice to push etc and how he should give his friends hugs and kisses instead and share his toys and have turns. He smiles and nods and says yes he will but he is 2 and doesnt really understand. He is very tall for his age and doesnt seem to realise his own strength sometimes.

Any ideas? Just another phase? Are lots of 2 year old boys like this? I cant help blaming myself (have somehow made him like this/he shouldnt be at nusery etc etc).

would really appreciate any advice or just reassurance that your boys have acted like this sometimes too!

I would say that it is pretty common for two year old boys to go through a stage like this. Nursery shouldn't be that surprised, really, but they should supervise him and other children properly so that they can intervene at the first sign of trouble and gently redirect him.

I think (a) a phase like this is pretty common in children this age anyway, but should pass with consistent treatment, and (b) it's also pretty common in children with a new sibling, even if they adore the sibling and behave fine at home (based on observation of DS's friends with a similar age gap to yours), but again that should pass.

I think nursery should be explaining to you how they are going to support your son and help him to manage his feelings while reassuring you that this is entirely normal for 2yos.

Agree completely with the last post. I am sure nursery will be doing this already but I would ask them to say "No X, I know you're frustrated but we don't hit. Hitting hurts. We play nicely together and share don't we. That makes people happy and smiley."

oops x post. meant the one before.

Totally normal. Will grow out of it as he develops the mental skills to be able to share and take turns. The physical misbehaving is just him showing his frustration because at 2 years old he doesn't have the verbal or emotional skills to deal with it.

Thank you...hopefully I am not raising a hoodie then. Nursery just made me feel very ashamed - not sure whether they meant to do that or whether they were just keeping me informed. They seemed to want me to do something about it but I explained he was fine usually at home. Fingers crossed its just a phase.

TBH I am surprised the nursery mentioned it as it is totally normal at this age.

Don't they have to tell the parent if their child physically hurts another?

My DS (2.5) is also at nursery two days a week. I was very shocked to be told that they are 'having problems' with him not listening. (eg he will hear someone else being told not to climb on the table so he'll get up there himself. Just pushing the boundaries and exploring what consequences mean, IMHO). I think it's usual 2yo behaviour and I also think that it's quite usual to feel sensitive when someone gives you feedback like that.
I've been having a chat with DS before he goes to nursery and re-inforcing that he needs to listen to what he's told there. It has taken a couple of weeks to sink in, but seems to be working now.