Are you awake in the night with your pre-schoolers?

[beakysmum]

I knew I was tired, but it wasn't until I was asked to keep a sleep diary recently that I realised just how often I am woken in the night. DS (3.10) and DD (15m) between them mean that I am woken up once or twice or more over 50% of nights. Usually its only for a short time, but overall it must really affect the quality of my sleep?!

Just wondered whether this is typical for parents of pre-scoolers?
Also, I have just been told I have PND and think this sleep issue must be relevant?

I think it's quite normal for kids to wake in the night for a while I'm afraid. I would class my two as good sleepers in that they go to sleep easily, don't wake early, and are not up for ages in the night (they're 5.5 and 18m) but I'm still up at some point more nights than I am not to resettle one or the other. I'm not sure that it does effect the quality of your sleep if you are up briefly.

However, if you have PND, that will also be making you feel exhausted. Are you getting some help and support?

My ds 3.8years wakes EVERY NIGHT...always slept well but last year been a devil. I think its change in their lifestyle...he's growing up, more aware of things around him, started pre-school, left with others a little more, nightmares, all of a sudden afraid of the dark etc... Its very rare that he sleeps through.

This last month have gone from going in and sleeping next to him to me telling him that Mummy needs her sleep and I will not go in anymore, and that he must go back to sleep himself. He now wakes, gets up and comes into our bed!!! He goes straight to sleep and we are all happy (well hubby has to go in spare room!)At first I thought "no, no" another problem is starting but after a few bits of advice from Mumsnetters Ive changed my attitude...I see it as we are all gettign sleep, it wont last forever and enjoy the closeness of him!!!

The main priority for you is to get your sleep, I sometimes:

1. Go to bed the same time ie. 7.30pm to boost my sleep that week - I know its not ideal but I do feel so much better when Ive had more than 6 hours sleep

1. Weekends Hubby takes him out on a Sat or Sun afternoon, I get a hot bath and go to bed for 2 hours - then feel good and have the evening with hub

1. If Im shattered and he wakes I just go into his room, get in bed next to him and go back to sleep

Some will say Im making a rod for my own back but I get sleep, he goes straight back and Im a little happier with life.

Ive never had PND but I think sleep deprovation is hell on earth.

Hope Ive helped in a little way for you

ds (just turned 4) still wakes at least once a night more often than not.

Though the older he gets the easier he is to settle.

Mine are exactly the same, I think of them as good sleepers for all the same reasons as Bramshott, but more often than not I have to get up at least once in the night to one or both.

DD1 (3.0) cries out with bad dreams, gets tangled in the covers etc. Just a quick tuck-in and she's usually straight back to sleep. DD2(14m) just has a random cry now and again, presumably teeth but who knows.

But especially if I'm woken from deep sleep I find it has a really big affect the next day - I'm shattered. For me it's the randomness - if I was routinely waking at the same time every night I'd be a lot better. Some full nights and some broken nights at random times are the worst.

One thing that helped me was putting a fairly bright night light on the landing so I don't have to turn any lights on. That means I don't wake up as much and I find it easier to get back to sleep.

DD1 (2.4) is usually ok unless she isn't feeling well, and DD2 slept through for the first time yesterday at 13 months. I hardly dare write that down in case it jinxes it and she goes another year or two without sleeping through!

Yes every **ing night and dd is now 7. DS started sleeping through the night only when he started school. Jan 2011 is the big hope for dc3...

Those bags are permanent

DS is 20mo and sleeps right through maybe 50% of nights. The other 50% he might have got himself wedged sideways i the cot, or have stood up without really being awake, or just randomly cry out. Unless he is ill or teething then generally I can go in and lie him down and he'll go straight back to sleep, and I crawl back into bed without really noticing.

I'm so used to it that I find now I tend to wake several times a night even if he doesn't! But overall I don't feel too tired, twas much much worse when he was younger.

bump

I have dd1 (3.5) who has always ben a good sleeper but prob gets me out of bed about once a week. dd2 is 18mo and was sleeping through until 3 months ago when ds1 was born. She was really thown by it and started waking several times a night. We have speculated about why - but usually just bring her in with us and she sleeps. I sometimes think she's cold -but I'm pretty sure we've fixed that now and it's still happening. She also is hungry occasionally as she's at that stage when life is too exciting to stop and eat (I remember dd1 doing that too and swearing we would never let that happen with another child ). Ds1 is pretty good for his age but add it all together and it def takes its toll. Being up for a shorter time is not as bad but it still feels like it mounts up, esp when it's cold when you get out of bed.

33mo, usually awake once in the night. Spends 2 nights a week with his dad and probably sleeps though 1 of the 5 nights he is with me. And is awake for the day at 6am.
My 6yo slept though well before this.
yawn....

my 3.5 yr old wakes most nights
18mth old was sleeping through but now she's waking... and she screams so loudly she wakes her brother

My 2.5 yr old wakes every night and needs settling, she also get up religiously between 4.30 and 5.30 every morning. I am resigned to my fate nowadays.

Yes every night with ds (4). Gets in bed with us and wants a drink of milk.

Yanda have you heard of wake to sleep? There are some great threads on here about it and it worked for us to stop dd waking at 5am.

I have 17mo DTs and sympathise - between them someone is awake at some point between 7.30pm and 7am I would say 5 nights out of 7. On bad weeks, every single night. The worst thing is they rarely wake each other but the fear of it means controlled crying or leaving them to see if they re-settle just doesn't feel like an option (and we don't have another bedroom to separate them).
Most of my mum friends get up at least once a week in the night (if they are lucky).

Interesting that you have PND. I wonder if I do, or whether it is just extreme tiredness. I have a new-found temper and get very moody and cross, I was never like this before children.

I really sympathise. I must go to bed now though as I'll probably be up soon!!!

Yes my nearly 3 year old wakes up once most nights asking for a drink of milk or comes into our bed, ds2 who is 10 months and slept through from 6 weeks has started waking up anytime between 3 and 5 am for a feed or just to chatter and by the time he goes back to sleep the other two are awake! It's seriously messing with my mind. I burst into tears in the school playground this morning all over my very nice friend because I was so tired.

omg! i dont know if im happy that am not alone or devastated that it wont stop

dd is 2.6 and has slept through one night in her life (tbh i wonder if i imagined that night) she gets up twice a night

ds is 7 mths so i have to bf at night

last week they were both ill and i was up all bloody night

this week am trying to fix things

My dd2 is 4.6 years and most nights gets up at some point. she hardly ever sleeps though the night completely. Some nights she'll get up around midnight, go to the loo, go back to bed then slips into bed beside me later anytime between 1am and 5am.

There are mornings were I wake up and she's in the bed beside me and I haven't noticed her coming in. there are other nights where I'll wake as she comes in and it takes me ages to get back to sleep.

Last night she got up at 11pm went to the loo then went back to bed. then got up at midnight and refused to go back to bed unless i went and lay down beside her. so she ended up in bed beside me and dh again. I think her main problem is she doens't like sleeping in her room alone. when we were on holiday a few weeks ago we were all in the same bedroom and she slept through every night without waking. But then she was exhausted every day so that also may have had something to do with it.

I hope that by the time she starts school properly next year she'll be sleeping through.

I yawn through my days at work as I'm always tired. Dd1 was never like this at all, she went to sleep and that was her until morning. I've never suffered PND though so can't comment on that.

Yes awake every night without fail with DD2, age 22 months. Sometimes several times. We have started doing controlled crying, though she shares a room with her big sis, and seems a bit mean on her - she gets woken up and DD2 is LOUD. Was up regularly with DD1 until about 2.5yrs. DC3 on the way, so no sleep anticipated until 2015.

Linnet, I think that's true about not liking sleeping alone, ds slept through every night on holiday when he shared a room with dd every night.

Like Littleducks, I don't know whether to be relieved I'm not alone, or worried that it won't stop for years!

Then last night, they both slept through and man, do I feel better today! Won't happen again for weeks now though....

I just don't know how much is PND and how much is normal tiredness. And no, I don't get much support, though am trying to make more time for myself. I think it is more than normal tiredness cos I have days when I just feel exhausted . Sometimes I wonder whether I have PND as I don't feel that down, just tired and emotional.
SO identify with the poster who cried over her friend in the playground . Or is tiredness a major trigger for PND? Plus hormones etc. I just wanna feel better!

It may not be convenient for parents but I do believe many children aren't programmed to sleep alone. DS is 3.25 and has been co-sleeping with me since he was 9 months old when his sleep deteriorated to such an extent that he was waking every 45 minutes. The problem went away instantly and I'd often wake up briefly to find him stirring, then reach out to pat my arm and go straight back to sleep. Since then, apart from a handful of nights when he's been ill, I have had a brilliant night's sleep every night. We've recently bought him his own bed which, as a transition, we've put next to our own. He's been in it 2 weeks and although he is happy to go to sleep in it he has woken up every night and has either got in with us or asked me to get in with him.