Do you ever play with your children? At all? Mine are 6 1/2 and 3 1/2 and I dont really play with them

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How necessary is it to play with your children once they are that old?

I used to play with them and "entertain" them when I was younger. Play doh, sticking and gluing, painting, arts and crafts, puzzles, etc.

Now, they do all that in school and preschool, and when they are home they are more keen on free play. Either with eachother, or next to eachother.

I pretty much take my cue from them, if they are bored, I get them onto an activity, or I lay puzzles with them, or maybe watch a film together, but not so much as before.

I do homework and violin practice with my oldest of course, and take him for tennis lessons on saturdays (unless dh takes him)

I can sit with my paper and my coffee, or my book, and they are doing "their things" and seem quite happy to do so.

At the weekends we take them on outings, to museums, the beach, mountain, fishing, cycling, walking, visiting other families with kids, bbq, shopping, cinema, concerts, etc. Once a week after school I take them out to the shops and for a meal.

So I am wondering, am I doing too little with them? Should I play with them?

that should of course be when THEY were younger not when I was younger... durrr..

nah, we do all the things you describe

but I would say the only time I "play" with them is on a holiday for example if the weather is wet

and then it is summat like a card game or a board game such as monopoly or frustration

We (DHand I) will play board games with 6y DD, and I will do craft with her or some colouring in. And we will play Wii games with her, or I may dabble in some multiplayer DS games at times. But we don't join in play such as Barbie/Polly Pocket, or imaginitive stuff - other than being customers at a pretend cafe, etc (involves staying seated and menu being brought to me).

But DD is an only child so if no friends round she has no one else to interact with, other than me and DH. Whilst she will play a lot of the time independently sometimes she likes to fun of others being involved.

Ours usually play with each other - they're 7 and 10 now- and have done for years . WE play board gamses and encourage physical stuff outside but otherwise it is only occasionally that I'm welcome !

I don't know if you should. If they're happy and stimulated then why worry?

To answer the question in your title - I only have one DS, aged 6, and I play with him quite a lot, otherwise he'd have no-one to play with when we're at home. If we're out visiting cousins or at a family 'do' where children are around then they're pretty well ignored and left to do their own thing.

But at home, it's a different story. DS enjoys time on computer/DS/tv, but I have a period of quality time (or 'qualler' as he calls it!) every day. Fhis means playing together in his room - jigsaws, board games, football, lego, etc. It's often the last thing we do before bath and bed, for about an hour. More at weekends.

TBH I know I'm compensating for him not having a sibling, but he does seem to value this time together. And it's often a time that he really talks to me as well. But if he had someone else to play with I'm pretty sure I would play with him much less.

It is good to hear I am not unusual then. I am also the pretend customer at the restaurant. I find that these days, I am more in the background ready to solve dispute or stear their playing in other directions if they get fed up, or it takes a nasty turn (with lego throwing etc).

I did wonder that maybe I had become "uninvolved" with my kids.

DH on the other hand can spend hours on the floor with them building lego things, but I guess it is because he sees them less than me and has to "cram in quality time".

I hated playing with young children.
It s boring, silly and it s not my job.
If they are constantly entertained by us, they will never acquire any inner resources to stave off adult boredom.

i find playing with my children very boring I'm afraid. I lost interest when oldest was 2-3yrs and two younger have just played with their big sister or each other or on their own. Am feeling guilty of course though.

Though I do enjoy poker with my 12 yr old.

Why feel guilty? Our parents didn t play with us, well mine didn't, they were too busy working/running the house.

It s like unless we give every atom of our beings to our children, every ince of mental space, every iota of our attention and energy, we are SHITE MOTHERS.

children love to play with parents, who does not, i used to love playing with my parents when little. probably best time of my life
mine are 3.5 and 14m. im always patient, customer, shopper. i will be fed by everything. it lovely when dd gives me icecream pizza, chocolate soup,etc... makes me laugh.
i think ds will be dentist, always checking my teeth. i love and love playing, specially ds now toddles around and copies everything dd does.

I don't play with dd any more either-was thinking the same thing this evening, and she is an only child . I make sure I make her laugh every day, but am no good at playing-we never seem to have any time to play any more-it's always school/activities, but then again we have just moved house so am still reeling in the mess-we will have more time soon. I read to her for at least half an hour a day though (clinging at straws!)

No its true my parents never played with us and hey i'm normal Seems a bit sad though. I just dont have the patience.

I play with ds(4) a lot but he's an only child so I kind of have to. It's dull though, I can pretend to be a pirate for about 3 mins before I get bored. I last slightly longer with playmobil or train track building but hardly any time at all with dancing, hide and seek, looking for the dog (usually hidden under a duvet) or listening to ds's 'jokes'. I do enjoy reading and bathtime and walks and more planned activities like cooking and arty stuff, but that's not really playing I suppose.

I have an only child so play with her all the time every day.

Oh yay, does playing hiding count? I do that! And undersea divers in the bath, maybe I'm a bit better than I thought. Does singing together count too (still more straws!) Does anyone worry that when a child plays by themselves a lot it means they don't like you-she takes herself off to a corner and colours most of the time since she started school

And do kids care that you are fake laughing at their "because he wasn't FEELING WELL!" (it's peeling well darling!) jokes?

i find the playing bit really hard sometimes

i just don't have time

mine's an only too, a think it's worse with onlies

I played charades with ds2 (8) tonight. Ended up laughing so much though we woke his baby brother. (was the bit for 'flushed' on flushed away.. sure you can imagine).

That said i dont play much with him as so busy and also he wants to do his own thing. Dp plays games with him - mechwarriors, and they practice rugby in garden and stuff like that.

Best time we get is reading and a nice snuggle.

Just count yourself lucky that they like playing together!
I am still pestered constantly by ds2 (nearly 5) who requires constant interaction - I can cope with it for about an hour before I feel the need to lie down in a dark room . Sometimes ds1 and ds2 play together but tbh ds2 is even a bit much for ds1

Mine are 4.10 and 2.2

I find playing with dd1 easier, because of her age. Am much better at jigsaws, boardgames, colouring-in type stuff which she is now into

DD2 is still pretty random and unstructured in her play... I'm no good at the make-believe or imaginary stuff - "Another teddy bear picnic? Ooh, great!"

I do like hide and seek though, and am quite an expert at finding places in our impossibly small flat

Luckily for me they play very well together, which gets me off the hook

So overall, I probably do enough but could try harder

Kids should make-up their own entertainment sometimes, anyway

god no, don't worry about it.
there has to be some benefit to having two

I can relax then. I guess it means I am off the hook playwise. I have done my fair share, but now it seems the end of an era is over. I always used to envy the mums who seemed able to play with their children so effortlessly. It doesnt come so natural to me.

I am better at talking with them, explaining things, and reading books with them. And outdoor games, such as ball games, badminton etc.

It IS nice that they play together. And some days, when I am just simply tired, I let one play on the computer and one play on the nintendo. I dont think it is bad if this happens now and then. Or they sit together in one armchair and watch eachother play a bit.

Oooh, I do. It's ow I pick up all the gossip (amazing what comes out when they are relaxed with you) - mainly about the teachers!