Parenting or food, which topic? Plumped for parenting... please tell me about your fussy three-year old who became a five-year old who ate anything.

[theinsider]

DS1 is 3.8. He's always been fairly uninterested in food, eats only smallish meals and five days out of seven will refuse whatever we're having and choose the only alternative I offer him - bread and butter.

He will generally refuse to try anything.

It's not that I'm worried about the nutritional value of his diet so much as I keep that ok through hard work on my part but I'm getting fed up with his fairly limited diet and refusal to try things.

When's he going to eat roast chicken? Or sauce on pasta? Apple pie? Fishfingers?

Please give me some hope

I won't post if you want hope! Sympathies.

Thinsider - my DS, now 2.6, sounds just like your DS. My friend has a son who was just the same - she said it all changed when he was at school full time and now he's really adventurous. Having seen what a picky eater her son was, it's giving me hope

hmmm, my dd is now 6, so won't say anything

i feel your pain

No advice as I am in same boat as you with my 3.3 twin daughters!

I wonder if we'll ever get to the stage of having a normal meal altogether - when even pasta with sauce touching it seems to provoke such massive temper tantrums half the time!

Will be interested to see if there is any magic solution!

Hmm, not looking good is it? Apart from dinky's friend of course - a small glimmer there.

I'm off to cook dinner now ( ) but will check back if there's anyone who can help

My DD is almost 3 and the same as your DS to a tee.However, between the ages of 3 and 6 I literally ate nothing but Bovril sandwiches according to my Mum.And by the age of 10 I ate almost everything...so you never know...

my mil was very fussy as a child, as was her son, my dp

both fine now

In same boat too

BUT I was the fussiest child ever, can well remember my mum cajoling me tearfully to eat just one carrot.

As an adult, however, I eat and love everything (except bananas).

It happened slowly, I ate a few more fruit and veg every year because I could understand my mum's arguments about healthy eating etc more - useless trying them with a 3 year old. But really it was when I was at uni and started cooking for myself that it all kicked in, I remember seeing a recipe for ratatouille somewhere and thinking that looks nice.

In a way I was almost expecting my dd1 to do the same, just to bite me in the bum. My mum, of course, is loving it because even though I know it turned out OK I still lose my cool far too much about it. Try and stay calm, he will not be the only adult in the world to eat pasta without sauce, just don't nag him and let peer pressure do the trick. Easier said than done

i had one of these until ft school and now (6) eats a reasonable selection.

My three year old fussy eater is now a six year old who is, at times, positively smug about how wonderful it is to try new things and looks down her nose at friends who are unadventurous. Seriously. It's embarrassing.

But I have no idea how you make that happen. It just kind of did.

She still detests various perfectly innocent food stuffs, but at least now I believe her.

My 3.7 year old ds is now relatively good at eating a variety of foods, and he used to be terrible, so it can happen. At age 2 he would only eat pasta with no sauce on or bread and butter, and bananas - nothing else, so no vegetables or fruit except bananas. He will now eat most things except sauces on pasta/meat and green beans.

The only things I've done to help things along are to not offer snacks between meals so he really hungry by the time he has to eat, and never to offer an alternative. So if he doesn't like my chicken casserole, that's fine, I don't make a fuss, but I say "That's all there is, you're not getting anything else".

So theinsider, I would stop offering him bread and butter.

And ds only gets pudding if he eats at least 3 spoonfuls of vegetables. That is a big incentive because he loves puddings.

Nursery?

My DS2 (2.5) is shockingly fussy. I don't mind if there are things they genuinely don't like but you can tell the difference. He started having lunch at nursery when he was two (he only goes two mornings as it is for fun rather than for childcare) and in six months we are beginning to see a difference.

After he had been eating most of the stuff they put in front of him there for about a month I started pushing things a bit. Well, more like nudging half heartedly. I started with things I knew he had eaten there and things DS1, DH and I would all eat, like macaroni cheese and spaghetti. I did not give him a separate meal. I did not offer an alternative. I did not offer bread and butter. I did give him a yoghurt after lunch as normal, even if he ate nothing. I did not give him an extra afternoon snack or bring tea earlier.

I don't want meals to be a battleground and I'd never force him to eat but I can't carry on making different meals all the time. And now he's past (I hope) the chucking it on the floor if he doesn't like it, it's worth a go. I don't do it too often, maybe once a week, but it is beginning to have an effect.

Our just turned 5 yo is incredibly fussy and has been since he was 18 months. I've found it really helps that he's got a brother who does eat (22 months) - I don't obsess about it too much. I'm sure it'll pass eventually.

DD was the same at 3 - is now 8 and eats loads of things. I tried a very un-pc thing: basically, have a bit of this and one m&m. Another bite, another m&m. Until she realised that the stuff she was eating was actually rather nice and the m&ms made a discrete disappearance. It really really worked. Bribery all the way for me!

Hi My DD refused to eat meat at around 2 but got her interested by getting her to help make dinner when she was 3ish. First recipe was from Anabel Karmels book - Bang Bang chicken - which involved her beating a chicken filet with a rolling pin and then coating it in breadcrumbs. We served it with a bowl of dipping ketchup and that was the catalist for a child who will now try if not eat most things.
I called a fish soup Mermaid soup and added a bit of red food colouring so it turned pink. Then gave her a cheese sandwich whilst I ate it. Told her she couldn't have it because she didn't eat soup. She tried it and she now eats most homemade soups.
Hope thats of some use. Ps. She'll be five next month so no over night miracle but we got there in the end!!

When my dd1 was 3 she lived off quavers, tangerines, jaffa cakes and toast. Now she's 5.5 I never have enough food in the house she lierally eats me out of house and home. Her every next sentance is "I'm hungry." I'm just so grateful she got DH's genes and not mine she's a skinny little thing no idea were she puts it.

Theres a little bit of hope for you. Just hope my dd2 (2) goes the same way atm her diet consists of chocolate and milk.

literally of course

When my DS was 2.5 his diet was so limited I took him to the feeding clinic (Salt, physio, Nutritionist etc) He does have some SN including sensory issues (and stubborn as a mule issues ) He ate beautifully until he was 18mth-2yrs, so I was tearing my hair out as he only ate baked spud mashed with butter and cheese, pizza, goats milk, fromage frais, bananas, bread and butter and only a few other things. He was really skinny.

He has now just turned 4, he eats loads of things! Not everything you give him, apart from at nursery school where he cleans his plate the 2 lunchtimes he is there!

I started by putting brocolli on his plate everyday with a food he would eat, I asked him to try it everyday and one day he just did. It wasn't long before he started saying more brocolli! I never told him off for leaving food and always praised him for trying new things.

I started letting him cook with me, he then tried stilton (yum), mushrooms (yuck), cake, icing, biscuits, chips, we make homemade fish fingers with salmon he loves helping and eating when they are cooked.

I just put things on his plate until he become familiar with them and this has worked for cucumber, lettuce, roast pots, yourkshire pudding (he can now eat 4 at one meal!) pancakes (ditto) etc.

At the weekend he had Covent Garden tomato and marscapone soup for lunch (he said yum and asked for more), with bread and cheese. I started him on homemade butternut squash as it is so sweet and can be made thick and smooth - so not a challenging texture. He will now eat roast squash with roast dinner.

My thought is to make every mouthful count.

I used to add cream and butter to mash to get some weight on him. I put 2 eggs in yorkshires for extra protein. Pancakes I do little fat ones (3 eggs, 3 tablespoons of full fat natural yoghurt, 1 tablespoon of plain flour) for protein and calcium and he has these with sliced banana and sugar. I make my own fish fingers with organic salmon dipped in egg, rolled in crushed cornflakes and fried.

So if will only eat pizza/chicken dippers make your own with the best quality ingredients you can afford.

Good luck

Mine had their fussy phase between 3 and 8. Dd (12) now eats pretty well anything, and ds (8) is getting there. It was depressing but we got there in the end.

It is just so depressing.

He loves helping to make food. This morning he's chosen to not go to playgroup and stay at home and make soup for dinner instead. He's helped peel and chop potatoes, onions, carrots, parsnips, he helped make the stock yesterday. But will he eat any? Will he bollocks!

I've tried bribing, both "no pudding without main course/veg" and a more direct "eat a strawberry then you can have a biscuit". He does know you need to have healthy food to have lots of energy and for your body to work best. But he prefers sweets

He's got a younger sister who hoovers up everything in sight - that doesn't help he just says "she can have mine".

One thing I haven't tried is stopping all snacks and not offering bread and butter. Seems a bit drastic but he won't let himself starve will he? Snacks is where he gets his fruit from - smoothies, dried fruit bars, dried apricots. He like those.

Maybe I'll stop snacks as a first step or at least nothing for say 2 hours before a meal.

Anyway there was some hope offered so thanks to those who offered it. And maybe I should confess I too was very unadventurous a child!