2 yo with poo issues, how do I help?

[Tippychick]

My DD is just 2 and not potty trained, haven't even started. She has started holding back her poos so that tiny bits poke out or she backs it up into such a huge poo that it hurts her when it eventually does come out.
SHe will sit and strain for ages to keep it in, again and again. ANd as bits do keep coming out she's getting a sore patch, no matter how much I check and change her.

Until she started doing this she never had a problem with constipation or runny poos, all was normal. She was bf and is now a veggie with a good and varied diet.We are having some problems at the moment in the family though, it has occured to me that this could be the cause. She doesn't do it as much at nursery, whether they don't notice it as much or she's busier or maybe she just wants me to notice?

Any advice really gratefully received, doctors have done an exam and it is not a physical problem, they're very little help otherwise.

I wouldn't expect her to be potty trained yet if she's only just 2. You've probably tried this already but does she respond to stickers? My dd went through a phase of doing anything for a sticker so a sticker chart worked a treat for lots of our issues.Could she get a sticker for doing a 'full' poo in a nappy? What's happening with her wees? Is that normal? It sounds like your GP hasn't really helped - if she's holding in her poo so much that it builds up and hurts, then she'll get in a cycle of not wanting to poo for fear that it will hurt - something like Lactulose or Movicol to soften the poo might help - did they feel her tummy or do an xray? I guess a good barrier cream might be helpful - I found Metanium the best.

Thanks trace
I re-read, I was saying she wasn't PT for background, I no way expect her to be at her age!

The GP did feel her tummy and did an internal briefly. Wees are normal, this is something she is doing, not a problem with her bowels I don't think. Though as you say, the more she does this the more it does eventually hurt so it's a vicious cycle.

Has anything happened relating to poo's in your household? Gina ford potty training book reckons toddlers can be sensitive about their poo's and can feel disgusted by them if they are refered to negatively. ie if she's been merrily spreading the contents of her nappy on the carpet and shes been told off, she may be thinking that poo's are disgusting therefore its best not to do them. Or if she's only recently seen the contents of her nappies (because before it was whisked away before she was aware) it may have been a bit of a shock.

DD has had nappy rash since weaning and I've found epaderm to be very good. Vaseline is quite good also.

no nothing smallbone though she did produce a couple of bath logs and was mightily shocked by them. I've never made a fuss or said anything negative.
That did make me think of nursery though, when she did this yesterday I must have sniffed out loud as she shouted "Not me, not me" at me, I guess nursery must be wandering round trying to pinpoint the smelly baby. And I have heard them saying "yuck, you are smelly" to other babies, in a kind, lets sort you out way but I get your point. Could that have this much of an effect though? The other children don't seem to have a problem and she does it less there than at home.

Hard to say really isn't it? Maybe its worth having a word with the nursery staff. If you are convinced that she's holding them on purpose then there must be a reason, however strange it might seem to us. shouting not me doesnt seem right either, does she hate being changed? Are wipes making her sore? My DD cried when I used wipes on her, had to use cottonwool and water. In the end her nappy rash was so bad I've had to potty train at which she did in 2 and a bit weeks, even tho she showed NO signs of being ready. Might be worth speaking to your health visitor rather than GP as they tend to have more experience of things like this.

Hope you manage to resolve this.

I would say she's doing it less at nursery because the need to poo at all is probably less - DS always wants somewhere quiet where he can be alone and nursery isn't that place.

I don't know what to suggest, as we're having the same problem. I do think though that people come up with lots of wild and wonderful toddleresque reasons why they may hold in poo (trauma, disgust, someone said something once) but really and truly it's not that pleasant to do and you know it's going to result in a boring cleanup. The first thing you work out is how to hold it in, so why not try doing that? JMO.

I think you can get local anaesthetic sprays, if the skin is very sore as she's going. It may be worth a chat to the HV, as someone else said.