TRYING TO POTTY TRAIN - BUT HE IS HOLDING IT IN!!!!

[Merlin]

DS2 is 3 1/2. HATES sitting on either potty or toilet. Gets very distressed, crying etc. No amount of bribery works.

Have been doing this Sat and have had one wee in potty on Sun. At nursery on Mon and did a wee in toilet there quite happily apparently!

Today, he is just pacing round and round, refuses to go, but I know he needs to - have been plying him with water but he seems to have the bladder of a camel - lol!!

Any ideas anyone?

bump

He still hasn't gone!!

will he stand up to wee in the potty? My ds doesnt sit on the potty but will wee standing up if you hold the potty up to his willy (watch out for splashing though!!)

Oh I do feel for you, my dd did the same thing. She didn't go for a wee at all, all day, but would jig about holding it in and crying. I got really stressed not knowing what to do, even tried bribery. But then decided to completely ignore it, which was difficult seeing her soooo stressed. After a couple of days ignoring it and letting her save her wee for her bedtime nappy we went to visit nana and I just said go and show nana how you wee on the toilet ... and she did we didn't do the big cheers and fuss, just a low key well done and she continued to use the toilet quite normally from then on. Couldn't believe it, we'd had a couple of weeks of crying and stress and it suddenly just changed. I think she felt too much pressure and felt she wanted to be in control, all I can suggest is try not to stress, don't add any pressure and I really hope it sorts itself out soon

I wouldnt worry to much about it, they'll do it in their own merry time. I've just mastered it with my daughter Joanna but took several attempts and going back into nappies before she accepted the potty. She now calls wee orange and poo chocolate lol. She was petrified of her own motions which didnt help but the day she did her 1st wee I praised her like hell, like really going over the top and it's been brilliant ever since. If he can't hold it in then I would say he isnt ready and go back to nappies for a few weeks and try again. The time for him and every other child will come.

have you tried having potty parties. invite friends round who have kids that are happy using the potty. he might then want to follow

Thanks all for the advice. I did just ignore him today when he started dancing around, asking for a nappy. I just said you know where the toilet or potty are - just tell me when you need to go. And so ......... he held it in til bedtime!!!

But he had sat on the loo at nursery this morning quite happily and done a wee!

Oh well, tomorrow is another day!

Hi Merlin,
my eldest did this too. I got soooo stressed out about it, she did not wear nappies at night, so there was no respite, she sometimes only wee'd once or twice in 24 hours. With hindsight, I can tell you that the only way of dealing with this is giving plenty of liquids and IGNORE completely. Try your best to not even think about it, and don't talk about it. He knows the potty is there and he can use it if he wants to. Do lots of fun things and just be grateful that you don't constantly have to look for toilets everywhere you go. My dd is now 5 and still has a bit of a camel bladder, but goes a 'normal' amount and there is no anxiety anymore (and hasn't been for a long time).

I have no doubt that if I had managed to just ignore it and appreciate the fact that she can go all day without needing to wee, we would not have battled for so long. Set yourself a goal, eg one whole week of not mentioning the potty/loo to him, just put on his underpants and then forget about it. It really will be ok. We even had her at pediatrician at the time, I think he wanted to laugh at me, but luckily (for him) he didn't. Hang in there, it WILL be fine.

Oh, and you are right not to make a big deal out of it when he does use the potty, just act as if he is 12 years old and using the loo - no big deal...

Yeah persevere, he will get the hang of it. Mine did this but more with poo than wee. Then they get truly addled!!!!

Our dd did this too. It's great now though because we don't have to nag the whole time about going before we go anywhere as she can just hold it in forever. Much easier than a pissy pants kid.

LOL at 'pissypantskid'!!!

Thank you all - I feel a bit more confident about facing tomorrow now! Night all.