I think I have done the right thing

[donnybingo]

On Saturday I was at the playground with my dc's when I spotted one of dd's friends from nursery (age 4) She was with another little girl...oh look there is louise ...and we went over. My dd started playing with the girls - there was no sign of Louise's mum - I casually asked where the mum was and Louise said - she is on her bike. I mentioned this to dp who said he had seen her go off on her bike as we entered the playground. I asked Louise who was looking after her - thinking the other girl had someone with her - but no - there were all alone ....Twenty minutes later Louise's mum returns and they go off.
About a month previous to this the same girl came to my dd's party (in the woods). Louise's mum came looking after another girl and in the middle of the party suddenly announced that she was off for a run - and buggered off for an hour.
It bothered me all weekend. I finally decided to mention it to the nursery staff after seeking advice from my sister who is a primary teacher. However the nursery staff member was pretty off hand with me ....found out later this parent is on the managment committee . Dp thinks I should not have said anything ...but she is putting her child at risk and I would not forgive myself if something had happened to her - plus she is looking after other children.

Probably the nursery staff member was offhand because, in reality, what could she do? She probably wouldnt feel able to say anything to Louise's mum and perhaps feels that what happens outside of nursery is not her business....

But I know what you mean. It's hard to know what to do in these situations - you feel that the mother is putting the child at risk but not to the extent that you could justify calling the authorities/social services etc.

I would try and forget it. I dont think it was necessarily wrong for her to leave the children at your party. Perhaps she feels that her daughter is quite mature for her age and would be OK.

You may be right, you may be wrong. Are you CERTAIN the mum didn't ask another adult to keep a look out and jsut didn't tell the girl? At the party - not unusual at all for parents to dump and run for the whole event, annoying but hardly neglect when there are loads of other responsible parents there and she said where she was going.

Not sure what you expected the nursery staff to do. Its not their place to police parenting skills/styles. If you're that concerned you need to make a report to social services. But be VERY certain about the allegation you're making before you go down that road.

Why did you mention it to he nursery staff? Don't understand.

At ds's old nursery school there was a 4yr old girl who would walk the 5 minute journey to school and back everyday BY HERSELF untill the bursery phoned the mum and said something.

But i still always see her at the local park by herself. it gives me chills to see becuase she could so easily be snatched.

I think you did the right thing but there is nothign else you can really do in this situaton i think.

So the 2 girls left in the park on their own were 4?

Don't be surprised if it gets back to Louise's mum that you have doubts about her parenting!

I wouldn't have said anything to the nursery. What's it to do with them??

Everyone parents differently. I probably would feel concerned but wouldn't say anything unless your dd was invited over and then would say that you are not happy for them to be left alone.

Thanks for all your replies. Firstly I am concerned about the child. The party thing was just odd, I wasn't worried. All the other parents agreed it was odd. I mentioned to the nursery staff because I was concerned about the little girl and the other little girl. I am thinking now I shouldn't have, but my heart is in the right place. Years ago I used to work in the play sector and saw loads of children under 5 dumped in parks...It is illegal,and I am 100 per cent no one else was keeping an eye on her. I am not going to phone the police or take it further. I hope I am wrong about this woman.

are you sure it's illegal? I thought there was no law stating at what age a child can be left

According to my sister - who has been in the profession for a long time - it is illegal

Not quite the same but loads of 3 year olds play out on the street around here.

Yes it is illegal - what if something had happened - an accident - I will run the risk of this getting back to the woman but I can live with that

what age is it legal to be left then?

I was in the park with dcs a few months back and three children aged approx 2, 5 and 8 were there alone. We chatted to them and played a bit and I asked where their folks were just being nosy really, the eldest seemed very grown up and together so I wasn't initially concerned. He said they had gone to get something in the car.

Then the toddler fell off the slide and got a massive nosebleed. I had to sit comforting this poor child who was crying and bleeding all over me (though not badly hurt thankfully) and the terrified older siblings not to mention my two for about half an hour before the mum reappeared.

4 is far too young to be left alone at the park - not for fear of being snatched but just normal everyday accidents.

However, in your situation not sure what to suggest - maybe a non-confrontational chat with the mum? Although i can't imagine how you might approach it.

Have to say I feel quite sorry for this woman, you seem to be talkig about her and bad mouthing her to anyone who'll listen. if you're really concerned about her childrens welfare, mention it to her and stop slagging her off!