Am I a terrible mother for even contemplating changing DD's nappy less frequently overnight?

[Anglepoise]

DD is four weeks and in cloth during the day and disposables overnight. At the moment I am changing her with each feed overnight (unless I fall asleep with her on the boob ) but it really disturbs her and wakes her up. For example, last night she had a feed around 3 am when I changed her, then she settled back down again pretty fast; then she woke again for another feed at around 6 am, so I changed her again. She was utterly and completely asleep (asleep on the change table!) when I started but awake by the time I finished (not helped by the fact that our reusable wipes tend to be a bit cold!) and then didn't really settle down again for the rest of the night, so that both she and I are now knackered. This makes me wonder whether, if she's asleep and not uncomfortable, I should just leave her to it, but then I wonder if I'm awful for even thinking about leaving her in a dirty nappy for hours and hours. Help! Btw the only whisper of nappy rash we have had was after her first day in reusables and we cleared it up within a couple of days (it didn't seem to bother her either).

Why don't you try changing her less and see how she goes? it may be that it doesn't work out - she gets a bit sore / she wakes up a bit later wanting a change anyway (in which case you can go back to more regular changes no harm done)

Or it may be that she sleeps for longer and is absolutely fine with it (result!)

Won't know until you try.

I never changed my DD at night unless she had nappy rash or had done a poo. Disposables easily last all night. I think it is kinder to let them sleep and it saves your sanity too.

no poo, no change

Thats the rule in my house.

And this can mean DD is at times in a nappy all day long. Same went for DS. I use disposables though and am a cheapskate.

Do you know I actually find leaving DD in a wet nappy does wonders for nappy rash?

no poo no change at night, theres no need to change if no poo!
if she slept all night she wouldnt get changed would she?

If when you feed her she has poo'd then yes change her.
If it's only wee, then leaving her isn't really a problem in a disposable imho.

I always changed DS's nappy after a feed at that age because he would have done a poo. As soon as he stopped pooing in the night (about 10 weeks old I think) I stopped changing him at night.

Not at all.
I started off changing DS after every feed as that is what the hospital midwife told me to do. Once I got a bit of confidence in myself I figured that as long as it wasnt a poo nappy then disposables are so absorbant that a wee one wouldnt even feel wet on his skin, so I never changed him at night unless it was really needed.
Once your DD starts to sleep through you wont be waking her to change her so I really wouldnt beat yourself up about this at all.
Congrats on your new baby btw

Wow, I feel so much better, thanks! (And good point 2point4kids)

Is there an obvious way of telling whether she's pooed other than sniffing her bottom or hearing her do it?

no poo, no rash, no leaks = no change.

No there isn't, sadly, I still have to sniff my 2 year old (luckily it's easier with 2 year olds - they STINK!

but in a way it's reassuring to know that there is no great secret, we are all still winging it!

Do you have a god nappy cream?

We used Weleda with both DSs and never had any nappy rash and always left them in nappies at night unless they'd pooed.

Also might be worth mentioning that IME the pooing at night thing stops quite early iirc. Certainly only a few months (3ish maybe?). Not sure if this is true for most people but certainly with both mine it was.

"then she woke again for another feed at around 6 am, so I changed her again. She was utterly and completely asleep (asleep on the change table!) when I started but awake by the time I finished (not helped by the fact that our reusable wipes tend to be a bit cold!) and then didn't really settle down again for the rest of the night"

Sorry Anglpoise, 6am isn't night! It's morning!!

I use cloth all night with no probs - agree no poo, no change! (Although 6 am is morning!)

I suggest that you change her every four hours during the day and don't bother at night, unless she poos.

SmugColditz it is reassuring to know that there isn't some clever method everyone but me knows about!

midnight express we have pots and pots of Sudocreme (thanks, Bounty!) but no idea whether it's any good - lots of nappy off time and using a silk liner for a few nappies seems to have knocked it on the head last time

And yes, okay, 6 am is morning not night, but it's cold and dark and I should be asleep, so that makes it night to me!

only change ds3 if he has a poo - which gets less often as the weeks pass

but then this is ds3

bepanthen cream for normal
metanium for really sore bum

though ds3 rarely gets either.....

I changed at every night time feed for the first 5 weeks but now she tends to not feed in the middle of the night, so I either change at her 6am feed, or I wait until we get up at a more reasonable hour but it depends what time I put her nappy on iyswim, but I'm happy to leave her 8 hours in her Bumhugger, sometimes more if I'm being a real slummy mummy.