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How do I know if my DD is really advanced for her age?

89 replies

aly16 · 26/10/2008 21:25

My DD is 2yr 3 mnths and can already count to 26, knows her alphabet, about 6 nursery rhymes and can hold full conversations. Is this normal for her age? Most of her friends are boys and they can't do these things but I have been told girls tend to pick things up quicker.

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cory · 27/10/2008 08:18

No sarky comments here. Just enjoy her! It may not be a reliable indication of how she will do later in life, but it's good for now- the secret trick of motherhood lies in enjoying the here and now. She sounds great fun!

I used to be one of these very early/advanced academic children, my brother was quite late. Afraid he overtook me in his early teens and has never looked back. Doesn't matter, our Mum is equally proud of the two of us - and of our two other brothers who turned out to be clever in totally different departments.

aly16 · 27/10/2008 08:27

peacelily don't worry! DD only knows alphabet and numbers because lictens to alphabet song on telly and has lots of counting toys. I think they just pick up what they used to your DD obv draws a lot so is good at this.

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aly16 · 27/10/2008 08:32

Thanks cory. I really am enjoying her she makes me laugh so much she's like a little comedienne! And me and my sis were like that. I was really clever but she's now much brighter than me!

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screamscreamstagger · 27/10/2008 09:59

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mummatoone · 27/10/2008 13:23

aly16 - Your DD sounds wonderful, why shouldnt you be proud ... smug I dont think is what youre feeling at all, there is nothing at all wrong with it, you are just one proud Mummy... dont let anyone tell you otherwise. My DS is 3.8yrs and excels in only the things he seems interested in. Im proud of him and full stop

I must admit I recently stopped using MN as there are some really nasty posters who I think do it on purpose to cause trouble...that is not the purpose of these forums. I became quite upset after some of the spitful comments...its always the same nicknames.

Dont rise to the comments just ignore

aly16 · 27/10/2008 16:23

Thanks mummatoone you've made me feel much better and yes I am very proud she is wonderful x

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mummatoone · 27/10/2008 21:24

Good for you, like I said, just ignore these "got nothing better to do, my life's so boring" posts, they soon go away!!!

MinkyBorage · 27/10/2008 21:30

give op a break ffs, she can't exactly ask this in rl can she.
Your dd is definitely advanced btw

Wispabarsareback · 27/10/2008 21:52

Don't you worry that your child might have peaked too early? God, I can't bear pushy smug parents.

SummerChicken · 28/10/2008 05:39

wrinklytum am also a little at reading all this as ds is 2.2. and has only just started attempting to make words - and he is so proud and we are so proud of him. Comparisons are indeed odious!

Aly16 you obviously have a really bright little girl there, you're going to be proud, aren't you. It is wonderful when their personalities start shining out in whatever form that takes (well maybe not every form but you know what I mean...)

cory · 28/10/2008 09:29

I think there are two separate issues here:

a)The obvious pride that any parent is going to feel in a bright child who learns things easily and is a pleasure to be with

this is what I think the OP is mainly about, and nothing at all to be ashamed of. Being proud of our children is one of the most important things we do.

b) The tendency a few parents have to believe that if their 3yo is bright, this has got to carry on in later years, and that if this child does not do well in life/get into Oxbridge, then something has gone wrong, someone- either the parent or the child or the school- has let him or her down.

this tendency can obviously lead to all sorts of negative results: too much pressure on a child, unrealistic expectations on the school, unnecessary disappointment if a bright 3yo turns out to be a perfectly average 9yo, dismay as the late developers in the class start catching up etc

It's because we've had some such posters in the past, that some MNers are very keen to point out that early brightness is not a fail-proof sign of later giftedness. SO far, they are right. It isn't.

But- as long as you are happy to enjoy it in the present and not tie yourself down to any very definite ideas about the future, there's no reason why noticing your child's giftedness is a problem. Like good looks or a kindly manner, it's there for you to enjoy!

(The only thing I would guard against is letting your dd know if you think she is cleverer than you. I know a child who is quite bright and whose Mum consistently adopts the humble role- as he grows up, it's getting a bit obvious that he expects to be the cleverest person in the room and other adults tend not to take kindly to this).

aly16 · 28/10/2008 12:35

I certainly don't expect her to be like this in later life. If she is she is great if not great I love her clever or not. As I said I was a bright child but ended up very average. And whisperbarsareback I am neither smug nor pushy just very proud of my DD and curious to know what other children her age are doing!

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cory · 28/10/2008 18:59

Sounds good to me

lljkk · 28/10/2008 19:14

How do people actually manage to hothouse a 2yo? Do you feed them smarties for every right answer (actually, I did use smarties for toilet training). But don't think it would work to make them speak clearly in full sentences (for instance).

I just feel like such a failure at this hot-housing stuff, my 2yr-olds would rather spend lengthy periods inspecting insides of their noses, sigh....

DC are definitely bound for Oxbridge - working as cleaners and gardeners, I expect!

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