DD keeps saying she's fat

[dilemma456]

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sounds like power play and attention. if she refuses to eat - leave her 3 yo's will eat

Don't make a big thing about it, but try lots of positive statements about other things - things she's good at, good behaviour - so you boost her confidence in other ways.

Downplay it when she talks about being fat. If she says she's fat, just say breezily "Of course you're not fat", and change the subject. Don't be drawn into a conversation with her about it because that will reinforce in her mind that she is right. Turn it into a non-issue.

I would also be careful about saying that "she's not fat and you love her as she is". She doesn't understand that you mean you love her unconditionally; bundling the two things together may lead her to associate being loved with being either thin or fat.

I'd also have a quiet word with the nursery staff (outside of her earshot) and ask them to keep an ear out for other children saying things.

And Custy is right - if she refuses to eat, leave her. Don't make any comment, don't make any fuss - just take the plate away. When she's hungry she will eat.

It is sad that she's picked this idea up from somewhere and must be upsetting for you.

I think you need to firmly say to her 'you are not fat etc.' as you have and then pretty much ignore it from then on so saying it becomes boring for her and gets no attention.

If she were say 6 or 7 I'd take a different approach but at 3 it's a bit different.

Have you asked her if anyone has said she is fat? Not that 3 year olds are terribly reliable with their answers to such questions!

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is she wearign age 3 clothes? If this goes on might showing her the age on the label reassure her that her size is right iyswim

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could still be useful "look how the waist for age 4 is a bit loose on you" etc? bit grasping at straws I know but might be somehting she can relate to?

dilemma, i feel for you and your poor DD. I fear its something my dd is going to go through, shes really tall too, and is not a small build, shes 2.9 and is in age 3 to 4, but thats not got a lot of room left in it. Her BMI is totally fine though. I dread someone saying to her, or her picking on on something like that. I think all you can do it try to boost her self confidence through praise and hopefully she wont take too much notice.

Keep an eye on Peppa Pig - there are quite a few references to 'daddy's big tummy' in it.

My DD went into 4-5 clothes at 3 and is now 4 and filling 5-6 yo clothes, as are her 2 little friends (they were all born within days of each other).

None of them are huge, they just all take after their dads who are fairly tall and well built.

Hope it all settles down soon.

My DD 5 has started mentioning that she has fat thighs. I'm horrified and sad. She mentioned a girl who has thin thighs and am thinking they had a thigh comparison conversation. On holiday she told me she didn't want to wear her shorts as they don't suit her because of her thighs. She is tall - not skinny - but not overweight. I can't believe it. Any advice?

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