is my 3 year old ever going to poo in the toilet??

[mammaitaliana1]

my little one is three next month. She has been a slow learner when it comes to potty training but she finally mastered peeing in the loo at the end of last year. The poo is another story though. She refuses to use the toilet and keeps soiling her underwear on an almost daily basis.
I know I am probably being inpatient, but this is really getting on my nerves!
Any advice?

my DS2 was exactly the same at age 3. He took about 5 months to finally get there but when he did it was fantastic! He was soiling on a daily basis and refused to use the toilet. I tried to play it down - told him that poo should go inthe toilet - took it out of his pants and flushed it away and waved it off. EVENTUALLY he got the idea and started using the toilet. I let him watch me and DS1 on the loo and talked him thorugh it. I use Kandoo too so that wiping is quick and easy. Its a horrible time I think - but she WILL get there!

no advice unfortunately as my 3 year old is doing the same!! i never seem to catch her at the right moment to get her to sit on the potty or toilet for poos. its been 3 months since she was trained with her wees. I know exactly how you feel.

No real advice I'm afraid, but my DS was the same. He would only do a poo in a nappy, so although everyone (including me) thought this was a backwards step I used to put a nappy on him just for this. But then to my surprise one day when I picked him up from nursery he announced that he had done a poo - just taken himself to the toilet and got on with it! From then on he refused a nappy at home and went straight to the toilet. In my experience the more I tried to force him to sit on the toilet he got very upset and it just wasn't going to happen. I just knew that he would do it when he was good and ready! Good luck!!

My ds was the same and I'm sorry to say that my dh and I got v. frustrated with him. Eventually we decided to "accept" it the way you accept a baby will poo in its nappy. After a while he started using the toilet but he was nearly 4! I think it started when he got constipated and it hurt to go to the loo. He got jumpy about it and liked the security of his pants!

I am sorry to admit this is really annoying me. I am aware she might not be ready but it feels like yet another burden for a tired working mum!
I can be more understanding when I am not already tired from work.

Tell me about it! Ds1 was very advanced in other ways so it seemed to me that he should easily grasp the concept of pooing in the loo!I remember pointing out to ds1 that his cousins (I'll call them cousin1 and cousin2) one slightly older, one slightly younger both used the toilet to poo. He looked up at me and said.
"Mammy, can cousin1 read a book? No! Can cousin2 read a book? No! Can I read a book. Yes!"

well, you have hit the nail I think. she has always been a fast developer and acts a lot older than her age in many respects, so this is probably where the frustration originated from.
I find other mothers -of children who are fully potty trained- to be sometimes a bit smug with me.
It feels unfair.

My was 3 last month and has been exactly the same. I followed a suggestion given to me which was to put the nappy in the potty when a poo is likely. You can normally it likely arrive within a few hours. It was n't practical to put in on the potty for hours but the nappy in the potty seemed to do the trick for me. Hope this helps.

Sorry, I meant you can normally smell its approach!

We had the exact same problem. Then ds started to save it up for when he had a pull up on at night. So we started a sticker chart, with presents when he completed the chart, because he was getting so regular time-wise that we could just put him on the toilet before bed. That was a bit slow, and what really cracked it was when I had bought the present before the stickers were complete (I had an ELC money off voucher), and I told him that Skarloey was already in the house waiting for him to do his poo. That was all it needed, and he's been fine (touch wood) ever since.

HI all just found this post.It must be the in thing my 2yr 8mth daughter has been dry for 2 mths but poos in her knicks.Tried it all nothing works am at my wits end.She is my 4th had no probs with others so anything will be considered now!

Not sure if this will be of any help.
Our dd poo'ed in her knicks and after a very frustrating time I took her to the gp where she was referred to hospital. It turned out that she was constipated and there was a blockage high up in her bowel. Apparently the softer stuff makes its way around and caused her to soil. She would hold on as long as she could sometimes also and then not have time to go to the loo. They said at the hospital that this is normal too as the child feels so uncomfortable that they ignore the urge until it's too late.
We were given laxatives in large doses to clear the blockage and are now on a long term small dose until she develops a normal bowel habit.
As I said this may not be relevant in your case but perhaps it won't hurt to be aware of things like this.

I don't want to sound negative here, but DS is nearly 4 and is still struggling with poo! I think it's really normal to have poo in the loo problems at 3, even with girls, who seem to be much quicker at getting the hand of this toilet thing. We're hoping that when DS eventually goes to nursery he will copy the other little boys. But in general the more fuss we make the more problem he seems to have with it.

Actually, now I think of it, we also used a mild laxative in the end with ds1, on the advice of some book or other! The one I used was Mil-par, got it otc here, you can probably get it also in the UK. And don't you hate it when other people are so smug about their kids being trained at 2!

How should I start toilet training my child for bowel movements?

1. Make a toilet diary.
   Keep a "diary" showing when, where and what kind of bowel movements your child has. It will help you and your doctor see patterns in your child's bathroom habits. Try to keep a toilet diary for at least 1 week before going on to step 2. If your child is in day care, ask the teacher to help you look for patterns in your child's toilet behavior.

2. Teach your child to sit on the toilet.
   At first, you and your child can play in the bathroom to show that the bathroom is not a bad place. After a few weeks, your child should start sitting on the toilet (with pants on) for a few minutes at a time. Your child may need a foot stool and favorite books, dolls or small toys during bathroom time.

Read to, play with and talk to your child when you're in the bathroom together. Don't expector askyour child to have a bowel movement on the toilet yet. Remember, he or she is still getting used to the idea of sitting on a toilet. Start with a very short amount of time (about 30 seconds) and slowly work up to 5 minutes. A kitchen timer can be the signal for the end of "bathroom fun." Move to step 3 once your child is sitting on the toilet 3 to 5 times a day, for 5 minutes each time.

3. Make sure your child's bowel movements are soft and well-formed. It helps if you give your child less dairy food and more high-fiber foods. If your doctor says it's OK, you may be able to give your child fiber supplements or laxatives for a short time. Ask your family doctor about diet changes.

At first, your child may have more soiling accidents. Have your child help clean up messes, but don't yell or punish your child for soiling. Being angry with your child when he or she soils only makes toilet training harder. Try to stay calm and relaxed when your child soils, so he or she won't feel bad.

4. Have set times for sitting on the toilet.
   Once your child is having healthy bowel movements and is used to sitting on the toilet, start having him or her sit on the toilet at regular times during the day. Time the sits to start about 10 to 20 minutes after each meal and during times when your child usually has a bowel movement. You'll be able to tell these times from the toileting diary. Your child should sit on the toilet at least 3 to 5 times per day, for about 5 minutes each time.

5. Reward bowel movements in the toilet.
   The first time your child has a bowel movement in the toilet, give him or her a reward. Good rewards are stars on a chart or fun activities. At first, give a reward after every bowel movement in the toilet. Later, give the reward after every few bowel movements. Pretty soon your child will be trained. Then you can stop giving rewards.

Next, teach your child to know when it's time to go to the toilet. Teach your child to tell you, instead of waiting for you to ask. Young children should tell a parent before they use the bathroom, in case they need help.

Yep, I copied them, but hope they may help someone out.Its from a site I visit re Encopresis, a real nasty poo issue due to constipation (ongoing).....sure hope this all fits!

juuule, here is a link to and encopresis support group. This is the name of the condition your daughter has. Mine too. Bugger eh.

a sanity saving site to stop people feeling so alone

so glad my ds isn't the only one who will only pooh in his nappy (he won't wear one to bed though - we have to put it one him just for a pooh) - everyones suggestions have been great. I hoped starting nursery would encourage him but so far theres no luck - he just tells the other kids how clever they are when they do it!! Even I'm a clever girl when i go!

Our daughter who is nearly 4 has never managed to control her bowel movements. As she is due to start school in less than 6 months I am getting really concerned with this problem. She has no problem sitting on the toilet to wee but when it comes to poohing she uses her pants as a toilet, or a mat if we take away her pants. She either has contant "smudges" or she can not go for a week. Laxatives from the doctor make her too runny. On the plus side her diet is good and she drinks plenty of water and is generally a very happy little girl. When we initially started potty training she caught a viral infection from her older sister(who managed toilet training with no problem)which ended up with us having to take her to A&E as she became constipated and was in a lot of discomfort - something which she still remembers. Any advice would be helpful.