Very angry and disappointed with DH

[AngryWithDH]

I am a regular poster - but I've name changed as DH often browses MN.

DH had DS (10mo) on his lap, and DS yanks his arm hair, so DH slapped him on the arm. Not hard, but DS immediately started crying and I snatched him away from DS and gave him a cuddle.
It was all forgotten by DS ten minutes later, but hours later I haven't.
I cannot believe DH hit DS, yes he was being annoying but he is a BABY FFS!
I told him that if he ever did anything like that again that it would be over for us.

Just needed to off load, tbh.

Was it one of those not-thinking reactions? What I mean is that has he realised it was wrong?

and what about dh's background? is it an instinctive reaction in him to hit back when hit? He may not have meant to do it and he may be sorry (or equally defensive) now but it just might have been instinct.

Do you disagree over physical punishment?

I would say that the most important thing here is your DH's reaction.
If he is genuinly sorry and shocked that he reacted that way, then fine he has learnt a lesson and all is ok.
If he doesnt think he has done anything wrong then yes, I would be furious and disappointed also.

Yes ten months old is tiny!!!! He has no comprehension of other people's pain.

Poor you! Your dh needs to gen up a little on children's development phases.

How did DH react at the time?

You did the right thing, probably a reaction, just trust in him, and see what happens, try not to be to angry we all make mistakes, give him the benifit and remember what a good dad he is the rest of the time!

Yes he is a good dad, he has never raised a hand to his older son, who is 7 and he was angry with himself and ashamed that he did it.
I feel he shouldn't have allowed himself to be provoked into such a reaction, ds has done far worse to me but I haven't retaliated at all because he is too young to comprehend that he has hurt me.
I'm not totally anti-smacking, but to me it is an absolute last resort, and certainly is totally inappropriate for a baby!
We're only just getting him to understand the concept of 'No'!

I am totally anti-smacking but that's not what he did - he retaliated instinctively because he was hurt.

he clearly doesn't agree with smacking as he hasn't hit his other child and he is angry with himself.

I have lashed out twice - I once instictively kicked my dh down the stairs when I thought he was an intruder - it is not possible to control instinctive reactions.

You need to let it go now, your dh feels bad enough.

Thanks for your comments people, am feeling a lot calmer now.