toddler and teenagers!

[milkybarsrus]

I have a 14 year old a 12 year old and a 2.8 year old. my day starts at 5 when the toddler gets up I start school run at 7.10am and get to work by 9am after dropping all 3 off. I work til 6.30pm home by 7 as dh picks the kids up. then its dinner, clearing away dishes, checking homework, bathing toddler, then the teens want my time. I don't want to moan because they are all good kids, but I am KNACKERED! they chat with me til 10 at night which is great, but there is no time for me and dh, so the problem is I feel like im on call from 5 til 10pm and i'm 41, shouldn't i be snoring in a chair in front of the tv by now?

That must be tough. You are really lucky that you older ones want to chat to you and spend time with you, that is really lovely. I understand that it must be tiring feeling like you are oncall. Is there any way you could get the older ones to help out bathing the toddler whilst you have a rest?

I have a 15. 12 and 6 year old.
Before DD went to school it was a very long day. But tbh you are not using your resources fully
DS1 will listen to Dd read or will run DS2's bath and watch him for me. He is also big enough to load the dishwasher and will actually makes dinner sometimes.
You are still babyingthem all. Spread the load a little. And does DH make supper sometimes?

Do your older kids do anything outside the home in the evenings ? Youth clubs/band practice/hang out with friends/sports etc. This would give you some evening time with no kids in the house .

yes i am lucky they want to spend time with me and i'd hate it if they sulked off to their rooms like loads of other teens that i know of. You are right though, I think a rota of some sort might be needed. They ALL will help out if asked, its probably me thinking I should be able to do it all. The older 2 go to grammar schools and get loads of homework, so feel they could do with a break when they've done it. I will give them some things to help me out with though. starting with bathing the toddler and loading the dishes. DH does make dinner 2 nights a week. I just wanted to know if its normal to feel this tired?

milky
My DS1 has loads of work too ( 2 nd year GCSE's and rugby practice etc etc) but it is very do-able. He sits in the bathroom with DS2 and just sorts through his notes or does any readinghe needs to. And loading dishwasher is hardly onerous. DS1 also has his dads weird 'i quite like cooking' thing.

Just ask. Because it is easy to get into the mentality of it is quicker to do in
t myself.
As I said to DH if we are assumoing that DS1 will go to uni we are actually preparing him to be independent - which s all part of a rounded education.
The otherthing is that if you edge them into responsibilty then it will not be too long before eldest can babysit.

milkybarsrus...... i know exactly how you feel, i have a dd1 whos 19, a dd2 whos 6, and a ds whos 21 months. it is extremely hard work,being mum to a teenager, small child and a baby. and by teatime, im exhausted.
i never seem to have a minute to myself, and when finally the little ones are in bed, i have my very stroppy 19 yr old to contend with.
again i have no time with dp, and our relationship is under great stress at the moment. my dd1 never offers to babysit, and i wont ask, as i would much prefer if it was her idea,. i appreciate she shouldnt have to as they are my babies, BUT i could really do with a break!!!!! [feeling very sorry for myself emocion]

by the way im 42, so again we are similar ages.

cant offer advice, just empathy im afraid
xx

pagwatch
What you say is so true.... I do think I should and can do all the chores, but this doesnt actually help them in the long run. Toddler is normally in bed by 7.30pm and eldest is 15 in december, what age can they babysit from (just out of interest)? the thought of me and DH being able to go out seems outrageous, but so appealing!

Wow, no way I could do that for more than a week!

Time to delegate, why don't you get the kids to clear up dinner and DH to bath the toddler - preferably at the same time - while you check homework. That way all done and dusted and the baby in bed. Can crash with the kids watching telly or something?

matildaxemurderer...... good to meet someone with the same view/feelings. i love my little one to bits, but i do find myself wishing him onto the next stage, and thinking if i didn't have him life would be easier. teenagers are exhausting enough, what with all the hormones and moods etc, but the physical side of toddlers really takes it out of me! plus, my friends have moved onto the next stage in their lives and their kids are teens so in the day they are not going to appreciate me and my little shadow going for a coffee with them are they? But, all that said, really need to re-think who does what in the house and maybe give the older one a fiver and go out into the big wide world one evening and see how people live without kids, cos i've forgot!
my empathy to you too, and chin up eh? x

DS1 is 15 and has been babysitting for 6 months or so.
He is very sensible and we just go somewhere close by.
It is heaven. Just to be able to go out for a quiet drink

morning pagwatch.... I am going out with DH this weekend and leaving the toddler with his brother and sister! I will be about 2 miles away, 2 mins in the car (i timed it) and we will make sure our little one is asleep before we leave and we will be back home in a couple of hours. If i manage to pull it off it will be bliss .
p.s they hoovered and polished last night for me! teens bathed the toddler and they all loved it..... so did I , managed to have a sneaky glass of wine too with DH.

milkybarsrus, and pagwatch

wish my rather selfish dd1 would do that, (shes too busy partying!!)and while i understand that her life is important, i just wish she would help occasionally. shes not a bad person, and she is good fun at times, but like all teenagers i suppose, everything revolves round her.

what i find the hardest is switching from being a mum of teen to child, to baby. i sometimes get confused, and send dd1 to bed!!! or talk to dd2 in a way she could not possibly understand.
'tis very confusing chez matildax!!!

at the moment im not too bothered about going out, but would love her to watch them in the day, if shes free, just for a couple of hours or so, so i could pop into town ON MY OWN!!!!
and just feel like me and not just a mum iykwim?

anyway have a lovely time, it will do you the world of good.
xx