3 1/2 year old having lots of wee accidents - should I make her sit on the toilet when she says she doesn't need it?

[melpomene]

DD2 (3 1/2) toilet trained very easily at 26 months or so. She was fine and pretty independent (with occasional accidents, obviously) until a couple of months ago when I decided to get rid of the potty so she could use the toilet instead. She has a step and trainer seat next to the toilet and can climb up by herself.

After I put away the potty she started having lots of accidents (most days), often on the bathroom floor but also in other parts of the house. She can go for several hours without using the toilet, and I'll remind her to go but she says she doesn't need it. Sometimes (eg if we're about to go out) I'll forcibly sit her on the toilet when she says she doesn't need it and she will do a wee. Other times she doesn't do anything if I make her sit on the toilet, even if it's been many hours since she last went. I've put the potty back in the bathroom and told her that she can use the potty if she's in a rush and not sure if she'll make it to the toilet on time, but that has only slightly reduced the number of accidents. She seems to leave it to the last possible moment to go for a wee, and judge it wrong so she's too late (despite repeated reminders).

We have tried a sticker chart but it hasn't made any difference.

So, should I be forcibly sitting her on the toilet every so often to avoid these accidents? Or is she old enough to take responsibility for deciding when she wants to go?

It's really difficult isn't it? To know what to do, I mean. I had to be very firm with my ds who is now 3 1/2 but trained when he was about 3. He just would put it off and put it off, or forget to go then like your dd, would get there late. Poos were a nightmare as he would just hold them in till he had an accident. So yes i was strict and made him go every so often for a few days, and this did cure the accidents, with the poos, I made him sit on the toilet while i ran the bath and he got in once he had done a poo (I started doing this when i noticed stained pants, but he goes at this time every day now, with no complaints!). Making him go worked for us, and i didnt have to do it for long before he was going himself with no accidents. BUT it isn't what the books say you should do, and it's probably not "the right" approach, it just worked for us

Don't ask her if she needs to go, say "Let's go and have a wee." If it's not a question, she's less likely to resist.