Potty training 3 year old

[jeanybeeny]

I know there have been loads of threads on this subject, and most have given reassurance, but I'm now getting a bit worried that DS1 aged 3 is still in nappies full time. Most friends tell me not to worry, but I'm starting to get some pressure from my mum and MIL. The problem is DS does'nt seem to have a clue. I put him on the potty at regular intervals, particularly after meals, but he just won't perform. The frustrating thing is he will invarably fill his nappy a few minutes after I've put it back on! He won't tell me when he's got a wet or dirty nappy, and denies it when asked. I can usually tell when he's done something, either my the smell, the look on his face, or when he clutches at his nappy. I hope I'm not alone in all this, and that someone can give me some advice.

my ds took until 3.5 and now in day he is in pants and nappies at night

it just clicked but we did do no nappies at home if had an accident we would sit straight on potty even if couldnt go again but to show this is where we go

we had nappies when out and occasionally had folsd up potty with us when he got to 3 i decided no nappies at all at home no pants just naked waist down and teaching him to use potty to tell me when going made huge fuss when told me first time and when used potty first time

he took to it so well and hated nappies after that at 3.5 we chose no nappoes for pre school or ouit and he managed it with no problems gained great bladder control and telling me when needing wee

they get there in own time but maybe at home start with no nappies to get used to knowing to use potty and even if have nappy on if out take to the toilet and sit him on it to get used to the idea

he'll get there but sometimes the security of a nappy takes over but once they get thew idea and confidance builds theres no looking back first thing ds does in the morning is whips off nappy puts pj bottoms back on and uses toilet when needing to go

good luck

My DD1 was like that just before her third birthday then she spontaneously self-trained at 3.1

I don't there is any point in trying to force the issue (not that I am saying you are) - I wonder if sometimes that prolongs the time they spend in nappies.

If I was you I'd take a complete break from it for a while then try later but I have only dealt with one session of PT so not an expert by any means. I know that by waiting until DD1 was ready and eager I saved us both a lot of hassle and PT actually was quite fun.

hth

Thank you. Nice to know I'm not alone. I'd like to PT DS sooner rather than later, because the terry nappies I use are getting increasing more difficult to pin on him, as he seems to be growing daily! I've noticed on another thread that someone has a DS still in night nappies at aged 7, which I'd find a bit worrying. How do you get nappies (terries anyway) big enough to cope with that?

My DS has just potty trained at 3.1. We had been trying all summer (well, I had). Amazingly he was dry by night about a week after mastering day time.

I have to give DH the credit, he was looking after him for a few days and had a no-nonsense approach involving some sort of penalty system of Brio trains .

jeanybeany, There are 75cm and 78 cm Terries on the market from Twinkle and Kosikare and they are quite big enough even for my chunky nearly 6 year old DS1

CatW, thanks for that. As a matter of interest, do you use a particular fold for the larger size nappies, that's effective for a very heavy wetter?

Jeanybeany, It's fair to say that for DS1 - 6 next week - I do boost a larger nappy with an ordinary sized Terry which I just fold in half and then fold over the top half of the result so that it ends up about 3/4 as long as it was but with four thicknesses where they are most needed if you see what I mean. I don't put it inside the larger nappy but put it on DS1 first so I make sure that it is strategically placed for the greatest absorption! He sleeps on his side a lot and I used to have difficulty finding an efffective fold with smaller Terries. I have tried all sorts of folds for the larger nappy but now use a variant of the Jo fold for DS1 without doing the preliminary fold to the centre. I fold down the part that is going to be the back by about 10 or 12cm then just fold the nappy into thirds before fanning out the top. That seems to work very well and gives plenty of thickness at the side so we no longer get leaks when he sleeps on his side. I just use a kite folded larger Terry for DD1 - I have always used a kite fold for her regardless of the size of nappy and that seems to work well. I have to confess to using old fashioned plastic pants as well - I have never found a modern style wrap which does not leak.

Thanks CatW. Actually, I also use the jo and kite folds. I find the jo fold to be particularly good because it's easy to adjust to different size DC as they grow. It can be a bit bulky though, which is OK at night. I find the kite fold to be less absorbent, and always needs boosting. The problem I have is that DS1 is still in day nappies, so I'm really looking for a slimmer fold that does'nt look so bulky in the day, but still does the job for a heavy wetter! It does'nt matter what the nappy looks like at night. I want to get DS out of day nappies asap,and have been tempted to try someone elses idea of leaving nappies off in the day when at home, but he's still so unreliable, and I don't want to take any chances. I can't be doing with wet carpets and the like. I'd find it all too stressful!

Does anyone think trainer pants are worth a try? Someone suggested it, but I'm not sure, because my MIL says DCs are either in nappies or not, there's no half way house!

I tried them with DS2, but they could'nt cope with his wee output. I'd stick with nappies if I were you.

Oooh, I know how you feel! My son is over 3 years now, all his much younger friends are potty trained, and I feel their parents think I'm doing things wrong. DS has an active bowel and poos three or four times a day, and I'm sick of changing him, plus he is very big so is starting to run out of nappysizes. He has no problem to go on the potty when I tell him to, and have done hundreds of wees on it and gotten hundreds of shiny sticker rewards and encouragement.
I've tried having him naked, buying new big boys pants and no pants at all only trousers, but he doesn't care at all if he is wet or full of poo. I'm currently trying to get him to tell me when he needs a change, having bought the cheapest, value uncomfortable nappies i could find, but he still walks around happily with overful nappies that in the end burst. He also get nappy rashes. It makes me feel like an abuser, and I don't know what to do to make him see the need of getting out of the nappies! He just doesn't give a cr*p! After all good naturedness from me I just feel like getting tough and angry to see if that helps. He has moved to an older age group at the nursery, which he goes to one day a week. My last hope is that he will learn from the older kids!

Glitterola, I feel your pain. My son turned 3 in September and still no interest in getting out of nappies. In fact he's adamant that he wants to stay in them.
Like you, he cares not a jot if he's wet or dirty, and like the OPs son, shows no indication that he's about to or, has just done a wee or poo.
This morning he dragged out the potty and asked to wear pants. I'd love to be hopeful but we've been here before......
Nothing so far has worked - rewards, bribery, coercion, threats, gentle reprimand.
He starts pre-school in january and they have a no-nappy policy, so we really are against the clock.
Been posting here too.
Good luck all.

jeanybeeny - he was only 3 in august wasn't he? i know some kids who took until 3.10 to potty train! wait until he's ready. if you push it before he's ready you could have the opposite effect.

Are trainer pants worth trying?

Bump

if you are going to try trainer paints i would try reusable ones. they feel less like nappies than disposables.

Thanks nappyaddict. Sorry to be a bit thick, but I thought all trainer pants were reusable? Are'nt they just like plastic pants, but lined with terry towelling like material, so they would'nt be disposable? What type/make would you recommend?

you can get disposable ones too made my pampers, huggies etc.

i wouldn't get the plastic sort they aren't very comfortable. my friend uses bright bots they seem quite good.

I'll give them a go nappyaddict. I suppose the idea is that DC will feel much more uncomfortable in trainer pants, because they're less absorbant, and will feel more aware of having done a wee. Although I was always told terry nappies would have the same effect. I'm not sure trainer pants will be able to cope with DS being such a heavy wetter. We'll see.

let us know how you get on