i feel like a bad parent, my daughter is 3...........

[TheJackoLanternMuggle]

and i feel so low, and to the point i'm nearly pulling me hair out. I don't know if its a phase shes going through or its a rebellion thing.

I'm 25, i've gone back to college full time for a career change, so i'm at college most of the day during the week, DD is at pre school daycare.Mon & Fri and occasionally weds, i finish college and go straight to work, so those days she hardly sees me (which i feel guilty for already) but i'm doing this not only to better myself and to have a better life for us later on. My Partner is not my DD father and we've known each other just over a yr. but they get on really well and DP is so good with her. just lately DD is being really naughty, not doing as asked, getting up at crack of dawn at a weekend, and expects full attention straight away, i have to give myself 5-10 mins to wake up. DP has a cold so he's feeling pants as it is. DD just refuses to do as shes told. we take her out at weekends for days out and shes soo naughty i feel so embarrased not only for me but for DP to i don't know what to do. she gets told off, put on naughty step and gets treats & toys taken off of her. i really don't knwo what to do.

Any advice i would be gratefull

I think we are all trying to say the same thing, Jacko:

this is not about you doing anything wrong or failing to do the right thing

it is also not about something wrong with your dd or some way in which she ought to be different

she is being a 3 yo

this is how 3yos are

all you can do is to arrange the rest of your life so that you more or less have the energy to cope with it

this may involve cutting down on things you do or getting more help from other people

also on cultivating the frame of mind where your pleasure in a view of the sea is not affected by a small child throwing a strop

what it cannot involve is suddenly changing your dd from a 3yo into something else

that is just unrealistic and will lead to both of you feeling frustrated

she can't grow up extra quick because you need her to

cory - i don't want my baby to grow up to quick, and i didn't get frustrated with her yesterday, and didn't lose my patience we just said its okay we will go home and play - which is what we did.

I guess its because i'm stressed out, with doing so much, DD is picking up on that.

As for her real dad, his decision was when i found out i was expecting, he wasnt ready to be a parent at 25 nearly 26, so has never seen nor has he the desire to see her.

i'm with cappuchino on this one, it's not your college course or work that are the issue although they might be making it harder for you to deal with as you're exhausted.

she's 3 and she sounds like a tamer version of my 3 year old girl who gets 24/7 attention from me all week long!

i solve the morning thing by dragging her in for a cuddle with me, and if she keeps harrassing me at a time i consider too early i have resorted to saying (and doing) 'come in for a cuddle with mummy or i'll put you back in your own bed' which is surprisingly effective.

at the weekends you might be better off just relaxing with her, she doesn't need trips out, she needs to wind down after a busy week at playschool and you need to sit back and enjoy her while you can rather than running yourself ragged trying to be supermom to make up for being gone all week.

snuggle up with dvd's, do simple cooking, help her colour or do puzzles, or simply watch her play. all of these are probably giving her far more mummy time than running around the park or museums and are far more restful for you.

i'm sure your dp would like to spend some time relaxing with ye at the weekends as well rather than galavanting all over town.

and remember, she's still a baby. you have to make allowances for that no matter how irritating it can be at times when she's having a tantrum or being whiney.

Thanks PT - sounds about right, she loves cooking on sunday we try to make cakes (i'm not a very good cook - dp is the chef in the house lol) We try the cuddle in morning thing, some mornings shes okay some mornings shes not.

This weekend will be a relaxing weekend i think, am soo tired today tbh.