Take a part time job or not?

[Suze25]

DS is 20 months old and I?ve recently started him at nursery two mornings a week. I?d hoped that DS/DD #2 would be coming along by now but it simply hasn?t happened.

I go to various mother and toddler groups but in all the months since I?ve stopped working I haven?t made any new friends. I?ve been feeling increasingly lonely and isolated from the world in general. As a result I thought that I would look for some part time work up to 15 hours a week. I?ve just been asked for an interview and predictably I?m now in a tizz!

I?m caught between feeling incredibly lucky that I have the option of being at home with my DS and terrible guilt that I?m not as happy as I should be.

Experiences please - do you think that taking a part time job can help achieve a better life balance?

Yes I think it can although I currently want to leave mine......oops! As long as you balance it right timewsie and financially then its great. Out of interest why 15hours if you went up to 16 you would be entitled to tax credits and they make a hell of a lot of difference.

Why do you think you haven't met anyone new? I am only asking because since I am an at home mum, I have made many very good friends, in fact I have never had so many friends in my life. I had to make a real effort to start with,asking for play dates and being very forward in meeting new people, opening conversations with anyone at the park, cafe, library, etc. I have now met so many other mums from all kinds of professions - two doctors (handy!), a dentists, two sollicitors, a primary school teacher, etc... people I wouldn't have a chance to meet in my normal workplace.

To be honest, if a good part time job would show up I'dlook into it seriously, as times are hard. But everyone mum I know who works part time or full time struggle with a good balance between work and home. THey struggle and run all the time and feel guilty.

I, and loads of my friends (mostly met through baby groups, etc - you haven't met anyone you click with), have found that working part-time is good - gives you the chance to spend time with your LO and still have a grown-up life.

I have 2 DC and work 3 days a week. Every woman I know basically runs the house and the family's social life - so carries loads of knowledge and stress around this in their heads. DH's / DP's tend to leave you to be in control and just concentrate on their job - being the main wage-earner. So you have to ask / tell / nag them to do stuff. A good DH does help, but still you left in control of the home, etc.

If you are very keen to be a Domestic Goddess, this would probably result in you feeling guilty about not doing a good job at home, but if you are to prepared to let things ride a bit....

That was the reason why I got part-time job a year ago, now I work 3 days a week, one of them weekend day, so DH can spend a day with DD doing whatever they feel like.
I know what you feel about not making friends, I'm useless in this, find it very difficult to start the conversation and make friends. DD is now 2.5 and I still have only couple of other mummy friends. I go to playgroups, clubs, playgrounds all the time (the days I'm home with DD) but end up sitting there on my own..
And about getting the job- I'm happy I did it, I love spending the time with people I don't need to talk about children all the time and have a grown-up life like blueberry said. But I guess that can be very individual. I'm just saying that I don't feel guilty at all staying away from DD but wouldn't like to work full-time either. I find I have good balance between work and home.

It feels more balanced to me then being home all the time. I'm on maternity leave at the moment (with DS 22 months and DD 13 weeks). I've made more friends through playgroups etc than through work but all friendships are based on the experience of having children. I've only made one really close friend with whom I have more in common. I definitely benefitted from being in 'the adult world' of work before the birth of DD2. I get a bit mental if I spend 24 hours a day caring for children (as my DH would tell you if you asked)!