Feeling low at the moment.......
Demon · 24/02/2003 14:34
Had a really bad week with my 2 year old ds. He's behaving like the child from hell. He hasn't been well recently and has started waking in the night, ranging from just the once to one night three times. Usually goes straight back to sleep after one of us has been in to see him. Won't eat his meals, or should I say will only eat his chips and nothing else. Throws his toys, shouts all the time, hits his older brother and generally is a monster. So just had a do with him after he threw his cars I put him to bed, he's a sleep now. His older brother came to see me to ask for his frinds to come and play (teacher training day) picks his moments!! so I said no it wasn't a good time. Then he starts...but you said ages ago that I could have someone round to play blah blah blah. Now gone off sulking down stairs. Honestly I feel I am at my wits end! Everybody wants something, or something from me and I just feel at the moment like I have nothing left to give. I shout constantly because I am stressed to the point of exploding. I feel like crying all the time...totally fed up!
EmmaTMG · 24/02/2003 14:56
Well Demon you sound just like me! I don't know what it's like not to shout during the day, although it is better than it was in our house, it is utterly draining, isn't it?
I was intending on going to my Mum's some time this week just to get a bit of help with my 2 DS's but then I thought No I'm going to wait until DH is off at the weekend and go on my own so that he can have the whole day with them. Our youngest is 20 months and this will be the first time since he's was born that he's had them on his own for more than the time it takes to get the weekly shop done....like 1.5 hours! ARRRGGGHHH when I think about that it makes me mad, how on earth have I let that happen?
Is it possible for you to get some time out? Not just an hour or something but a whole day like I'm going too? I'm really lokking foward to it although I haven't told DH of my plans yet, if he doesn't like it well it's tough s**t, because if I don't get some ME time I'll go mad.
I know exactly how oyu feel about the everyone want something and most of the time I'm all to willing to give but now and for a while I'm going to take aswell......mainly DH's money when I hit the shops ALONE!
If you feel like crying then cry, I always feel better after a few tears even if DS1 looks at me rather stangley.
We're all here to listen anyway so just Ran Rant Rant.
deegward · 24/02/2003 22:16
Demon, if it helps, I went through this with my ds, who is now two weeks off being 3. I seemed to yell at him all the time, and while before he was a great eater, he just started to refuse food, unless of course it was chicken dippers/nuggets, and smiley faces! WE now have more good days than bad, but watch this space because tomorrow it will be me writing the message. I knew it had got bad when my ds looked at me and told me to f* off, I tried to pretend I didn't know where he had learnt it from but.....
Good luck, just think in another 14 years they can leave home!!!!
Demon · 25/02/2003 13:01
Thanks. Having a better day so far. He ate most of his meals yesterday and I had been dreading tea time all day, he did very well and only left a few pieces on his plate so it was a lot better than I expected. His older brother is back at school today so we should be able to get back to our normal routine now. One thing he does that bugs me at the moment is he says 'no' to everything I say to him. I wonder where he gets that from?!?!
aloha · 25/02/2003 13:47
Glad you're sounding happier. You do sound like you need a break though, generally. Can anyone step in for a few hours to let you do something else - a facial perhaps? I also think maybe you need to pick your battles very carefully when you feel low and tired. If he doesn't eat, he doesn't eat. It's not really a problem as he won't starve and it's not personal. My ds ate one dairylea finger sandwich and left everything else at lunch today but it honestly didn't occur to me until now that this could be seen as a problem. I also let him throw toys if he wants, so long as they aren't at anyone. The fact that he went to sleep might show he's tired, maybe? Could a short nap help him regulate his moods. My ds goes to bed the minute I see him getting querulous, if not before! I've said this loads of times but there is a book called The Social Toddler that I have and have loaned to loads of friends and is full of really practical examples of how to manage behaviour (features real mums and toddlers - all photographed having strops!) positively. It's published by The Children's Project and I think it taught me things I didn't know. Has the night waking stopped now? It's the one thing guaranteed to push anyone over the edge.
Bugsy · 25/02/2003 16:00
I know how you feel Demon. My eldest is 3.5 and sometimes I get so frustrated by his behaviour I really could weep.
I think that getting away from your children for a couple of hours can be beneficial for all of you. Sometimes you can spend too much time in the company of the same people (i.e. your children) and it gets hard to get a sense of perspective, you all just get ground down into the same behaviour patterns.
I ask my childminder to look after my dd while ds is at nursery every now and then and it gives me a whole two hours away from them both. I really look forward to it and then feel refreshed and better able to cope with all the bad bits when they come.
Could you possibly find a willing grandparent, partner, husband etc to give you a break?
Lukesmummy · 25/02/2003 18:39
Arrrgggghhhhh!!!! Why don't they sell prozac over the counter????
DS 17 months has turned into the devil child. Night time has become a complete nightmare with him demanding that you hold his hand when he falls asleep and the minute you move he has a temper tantrum, too the point that some nights he is throwing up (dh not too charmed with cleaning up). He then wakes up every 2 hours screaming because he has realised that you are not there.He has never slept through the night and usually woke once and after a pat and cuddle went back to sleep. This is beyond ridiculous! During the day he has his little fits when he does not get his own way, which has left me exhausted and very very ratty. It seems like all I have been doing the past few days is shouting and screaming no no no. I feel like the terrible two's are already upon us and it's only going to get worse. Anybody want a cute kid for a week or so?
Holly2 · 25/02/2003 23:39
Lukesmummy I found that my ds was the hardest at around 18 months. Don't despair, it does get better! DS is 2.7 now and I'm enjoying him much more than I used to.
DS also went through a stage about five or six months ago where he would scream when we put him to bed at night, it was like he was terrified and he wanted one of us to stay with him. He practically never wakes up during the night, but when he went through this stage he did wake up a couple of times through the night too. I think he just became afraid of something - either being left alone, something in his room, or perhaps he was having nightmares. The way I overcame it was to spend some time with him in his room before he went to sleep at night - I would sit him in his cot with a few of his toys and pull up a chair beside him, and read a couple of books with him. Then I would get him to say goodnight to all the toys in his room, sing a couple of songs and turn out the light. I just thought that if I could make his bed seem like a more pleasurable place, he wouldn't have such a problem being left alone to go to sleep. And you know what it worked very well, we haven't had the same problem since. Occasionally when I turn the light off he says "scared mummy", but I just remind him about what a nice room he has, and mummy and daddy are just outside if he needs us.
If your ds is just 'demanding' that you stay with him because he doesn't want to go to sleep, do you think it may be worth trying some controlled crying with him? Sounds like you may have already tried that. Hope all goes well for you, I really think it's just another one of those phases they go through.
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