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Parenting

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Original poster

Those of you who found the baby stage hard, when did it get better?

14 replies

Minicooper · 07/10/2008 19:01

Dd is 10.5 months old and generally lovely by day (apart from last 3 wks when ill!) but a demon by night. I keep chanting - 'it must be teeth' (though she hasn't got any yet, not one!!!) and 'this too shall pass' but in reality both Dh and I are finding this so hard - I know much of it is to do with no sleep and no family in the country, so no night out, weekend/ afternoon/ twenty minute off as yet. But come on, I know it won't be like this for ever - when did it get more manageable for you- in terms of the fog lifting and getting some marriage time back? At the moment it looks like she's going to be an only because I don't think we could do this again, but as one of 4 that makes me a little sad. Come reassure, convince and buoy me up!

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pointydog · 07/10/2008 19:08

I tackled the sleep thing at around 8 months.

But they get easier every week, tiny bit by tiny bit. Is there anything else you could try to help with the skleep?

Original poster

Minicooper · 07/10/2008 19:11

We've been doing gradual retreat, pointydog, but its all gone to pot over the last month while she's been off-colour. We're persevering with not feeding her to sleep, making sure she goes down awake, etc, but doesn't seem to make a blind bit of difference - she's still screaming her head off 3-5 times a night. Exhausting!

OP posts:

mamadoc · 07/10/2008 20:23

Mmm a bit longer yet but it does happen.
DD has been a lot more pleasant to be with in so many ways since about 14 months when she learnt to walk, started sleeping 7.30-6 (paradise compared to what it was), can talk a bit and generally have more fun with.
Never tackled the sleep as such. It just started happening at 14mo. Up till then I was regularly in tears, wondering what we'd done and vowing never again.
We are about to go to London to theatre overnight this weekend leaving her with my sis. That seemed impossible not so long ago.
Only way to get through is sleep when they're napping and to hell with state of house, washing etc.

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RubySlippers · 07/10/2008 20:26

I LOVE the toddler stage

from around 16/17 months

that is not to say it didn't get easier before then, but when DS started to walk at 17 months and talk at around 18 months things shifted

i found the baby stage V V hard but can, now DS is 2.5 look back on it wistfully

i couldn't even consider having another child before DS turned 2 TBH

compo · 07/10/2008 20:27

I remember being so relieved to get to ds' first birthday the first time round.
Is there anyway you could afford to pay for a little help? Just a couple of mornings a week in nursery could help you feel more human again

nickytwoooohtimes · 07/10/2008 20:30

I have to say that I merely endured the baby stage. I hated it, though of course I love him!
Now he is a toddler, he is fantastic. I'd have another one now if someone would give me a toddler.

If you are not getting sleep, you will be find ing it tough. Hope that improves soon fo ryou. A lot of people seem to find htings settle at 18 mths.

fairylights · 07/10/2008 20:36

minicooper - honestly i could have written that post word for word at 10.5 months, I felt exactly like that and ds was a nightmare at night..our closest family is 200 miles away so also felt v isolated.
Anyway he will be 2 in a few weeks and I can honestly say that it has probably been in the last 6-9 months or so that i have really started enjoying being with my ds all the time (i am a SAHM and student). Before that i found bits of it ok and bits of really tough but now that we seem to have sleep under control (this only happened about 3 months ago - sorry!) everything is lots easier and although toddlerdom can be so frustrating, i am loving it in a way i didn't love the baby stage. Its just great having this little person to interact with!
Hang on in there - i hope it gets better for you really soon

Snippety · 07/10/2008 22:36

I found the whole thing really stressful and had terrible anxiety until about 5 months when my boy could sit up. It got a bit better when he started crawling and could follow me about and play more. Another big improvement when he could stand and walk. He's 15 months now, beginning to say words, and I'm really loving it .

I'm not planning any more though as I'm 40 and definitely couldn't go through that again !!

TeenyTinyTorya · 07/10/2008 22:39

They get better the more they grow. I loved it when ds smiled at me when he was 3 weeks, then when he started to sit up, roll over, crawl, walk - each stage brought more fun things to enjoy. Now he's a crazy 18mth old with a huge personality, and I love every minute I spend with him.

Martha200 · 07/10/2008 23:54

minicooper, I feel your thoughts!

I have 2 ds, with my first he must have been 8mths before things were more pleasent.

ds2 (started a thread as I was in tears earlier) when they are ill and he is teething thus mucking up the sleep thing it's no fun and the constant whining, really got to me.

Anyway not really an answer, more a I empathise (can't spell should be asleep now)

Tortington · 07/10/2008 23:57

i hated babies. i am not joking. i am mentally scarred - again not joking.

i think it seriously gets better when they go to school - but kids are amazing from about 6 onwards.

SnoopDog · 08/10/2008 00:11

lol at custy and 6 years onwards

i do hope it is better than that,

i too am finding a 'baby' difficult to deal with,

i love her with every bone in my body but the waking and whining is 'aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrhhhhhh'

i know i need to chill more about it

we are only at the 12 week stage,

tell me it will get easier...

nooka · 08/10/2008 00:19

I was pregnant with dd by the time ds was eight months, and I'm fairly sure he was pretty much sleeping through by then (I went back to work when he was six months, so sleep must have been fairly good). Having the two so close did make those first couple of years very difficult. I'm not at all keen on babies, but hve really enjoyed their company as they have grown older. The infant years were especially good, but think the real breakthrough was when they started to be able to talk to me.

Starbear · 08/10/2008 00:29

I like the 8 month bit -12 months for me and walking and talking. Thought I wouldn't bond with DS which is daft now as we are sooo close. DS is 4 years old I've gone a bit soft on him lately so he's starting to take advantage with a few tantrums. DH and I don't get out as much as we did when he was younger as we don't have any free baby sitters any more & paying is a huge cost we did at first as it would have cost our sanity. try and get out a little more. I am looking forward to DS starting school for some time to get things done in the house garden and my fitness. Only 11 months to go

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