Is it to late? English mum Romanian dad and 2 y/o son

[umbrella]

Hi any advise would be appreciated. My son is 2 years old and we live in Northern Ireland. Prior to having our son we agreed that it would be great it they would be bi lingual in english and romanian as this is hubbies native tongue.

Anyway 2 years down the line this is not the case we both speak mainly in english to son and now he understands alot of what we say my husband has found it easier to talk to him in english as this is what he understands. Son can count to 10 in romanian and say some words but i would really like and have asked DH to talk to him constantly in romanian so he will learn to be fluent. Problem is now son does not understand husband and when we tried recently to talk to him in romanian son kept saying no dont want it as he did not understand so this has kind of discouraged husband. I keep telling him to persevere that he is only 2 and he will eventually accept.

We have a few books in romanian but dont have any other romanian influences around us as we live in rural Ireland and foreign people are few and far between so I can even expose son to other romanian speakers.

The other thing is husband is gone most of the day at work he leaves at 7 in the morning and isnt home to around 7 or 8 at night is an hour or 2 an evening and weekends enough to get my little boy fluent?

Apologies this is long winded it has been playing on my mind alot especially since we are having grandad coming to visit from Romania for a week and he speaks no english and I feel bad that my little half romanian boy cant talk to him

Any advise please would be welcome

Dear Umbrella

First of all, I have to say my daughter is only 8 months old so everything I say is very much theory and opinion rather than proven practice ... But, for what it's worth, here goes.

First thing is to decide how much it matters that he's "fluent" and what "fluent" means to you. My own opinion is that "fluent" (which I use to mean indistinguishable from a monolingual native) would be lovely, but anything would be far, far better than nothing (which is what he'll have if you don't go for it).

Next, apparently, even in families where they have been aiming for bilingualism from day 1, around the age of 2, resistance to the weaker or minority language is normal. Getting through this seems to have a lot more to do with the strategies and attitudes employed by the parents than with actual proven "ability" up to that point.

Third, late starting has been done and has been made to work. Jane Merrill (who started speaking to her children in French when they were 18 months) is a case in point, and she wasn't even a native in her second language. (Nor am I, by the way - but my daughter thinks I am ...)

Fourth - and any language teacher (which I used to be) at any level will tell you this - motivation is key to learning, and the best motivation is needing to use the language to accomplish real goals. In this respect, other native speakers (especially those who can't use the majority language) are a very good example of such a "goal". Hearing mum or dad using the language with other adults in this way, as well as watching TV/listening to CDs/reading books/attending playgroup/etc etc also go a long way to proving to the child that the language is "real" and not just an extravagant family in-joke.

One more thing - and this is very general indeed - any native speaker of a language (with the possible exception of the English and Parisians ) will appreciate a sincere effort to speak their language out of all proportion to the success in doing so and will go out of their way to help the learner achieve his or her goals. I wouldn't be at all surprised if your son's grandfather felt exactly the same.

Good luck

Sean

Umbrella - second Man's post. Also another thing: fun and funny things. I have learned the Chinese names of the various parts of a steam engine (not something I knew about in any language) and everything that appears in Bob the builder and fireman Sam etc etc and even all the polite (!) ways of saying poo just to make sure the children can express their "hobby" in my language.

Thanks for the replies I appreciate it

Similar sitution but with three languages. (I am english, DH spanish but live in France.) DD1 & 2 speak english and french but spanish is very very weak. I feel this is because not enough exposure. He works long hours, knows their first language is english and is easy for him to slip into english role.
Do you have any extended family contact with Romanian? Every family I know who makes fathers language work has grandma/pa in the background egging it on;

Just push and nag and persist. DD1 (8)speaks no spanish but understands quite a lot and is pretty p* off with her papa for not doing more. DH feels bad qbout this and has tried harder. Ask your partner to imagine a family situation in the future where his child can not communicate with his family and how he may feel. Now DH knows he made a mistake but fear his his absence through work may have similar negetive effect. (DD2 insisted on story with me in english tonight which upset DH a bit..)

But please ignore pressure from non bilingual families who assume it is oh so simple. Language is very complicated - DH dreams in english if I am in the dream but reverts to his mother tongue (not spanish!) when dreaming of his family..

Even if your DP only sings to him or says funny ryhymes with hand movements it will help a lot at this stage to break down DSs resistance. You have to start right away, the later you leave it the harder it will be...
Many DVDs come with Romanian language option - put them on in Romanian and dont let him know there's an English option.
When grandpa comes to visit ask him to bring some childrens' books and record him reading the stories or singing or saying rhymes. Play them back to DS when grandpa has left, if he has enjoyed grandpa's company he will like listening to his voice.

Sorry to intrude UMBRELLA, but I was ploanning to start a thread and then saw yours.

My native tongue is English and my husband is Romanian. My daughter turned two is December. We speak to her in English as, my husband is lazy to speak Romanian to her. My mother-in-law came to visit two weeks ago and is still with us. I do not speak Romanian (After intial attempts to learn were laughed at by my husband) and have resorted to using the "Google Transalator" to communicate with my mother-in-law. I have managed to pick up a few words here and there.

I would just love to hear how you dealt with the situation and what suggestions you have.