Should I knock it on the head as advised by the Health Visitor?

[shinyshilling]

My daughter is 2+8 months. We have been potty training for two months and I am due to have a baby in 9 weeks. DD won't ask to go for a wee or poo and though most of the time we have success on the potty/toilet, she just doesn't recognise when she has weed/pooed her pants. I feel like we've put a lot of hard work in, but the HV says that it's us who's trained and not DD. She said reward charts don't work for kids under 7 and was generally quite blunt about our approach, but I'm wondering if maybe she has a point. She says I should put her back in nappies until after the baby is born and try again in the New Year. Any suggestions?

Yes, forget it and wait until your DD asks to use the loo.

if she isn't ready, then it could be counter productive...

forget it until new year...

Even if you cracked it before baby arrived, chances are you'd get some regression because there's a new baby in the house for her to deal with.

I would agree. Knock it on the head for now.

I'm all for the easiest approach to potty training! I left dd til she was 3 (apart from a very shortlived attempt at 2.5). Because she was ready at this point it was an absolute doddle. In fact we didn't really bother with potty - just used toilet with step and child seat.

If you've been trying for 2 months and she still doesn't really get it and isn't dry almost totally I would say the message is clearly that she isn't ready. I appreciate in an ideal world you want her sorted before baby arrives (I had same thought - hence failed attempt at 2.5!)but really I think you're making extra stress for yourself. Also she may well regress a bit when new baby arrives - is that going to be fun?!

I found nappies actually easier than coping with part trained child who needed toilet immediately...(espec when new-born in tow as well!) There is really no need to rush potty-training. It proves nothing- other than your child has physically developed to the point of being able to control bladder.

I was in the same position with DS2 and I quite trying till after I had my DD who is now 4mths and in the last few days DS2 has totally turned a corner with potty training. It is more important that you relax during your pregnancy and enjoy this time before the next one is making its demands of you I would say.

My dd has been out of nappies for three months. Good first month then terrible 2nd and 3rd. Now back in nappies. She still asks to go for a wee and did a poo on the potty this morning at her request.

She doesn't seem phased going back into nappies which makes me think she was not really ready. Hey ho !!

She is 2.6 by the way.

And can I just say 3 cheers to your HV?! Mine always asks at 2 year check if I've started potty-training (well she has both times anyway!)...I ask her if she's mad and that i'll wait til they're ready and it's going to be easy thankyou very much. (I think it's also handy to wait till they can wipe thier own bums reasonably well too!)

Thank you all. This is very supportive and I don't feel like a failure now...not that not being potty trained is a failure, but I felt as though I was letting my daughter down because I wasn't helping her in the right way. Come to think of it...it will feel a lot easier, we are having a loft conversion done which has run way over time, we've just had to get our dog put down, our car's off the road and we're expecting a baby in a couple of months. You've all made me feel like I shouldn't be so hard on myself...but sometimes it's hard to see that. It can feel like failing if you can't manage everything successfully. Thanks again.

you dont have to stop completely - I am gently starting potty training with ds who has just turned 2. He wears a pull up nappy and when I see him grab his crotch I offer him a chance to pee in the potty or the big toilet. He has been really good and does most of his pees out of the nappy. It also means if he has an accident then it doesnt matter. We havent managed any poos in the potty/toilet but again that doesnt matter just now as the nappy is still there.

I left ds1 until his 3rd birthday, he then got the idea virtually straight away. I can honestly count the number of accidents on one hand, several weeks on, and am so glad we waited and avoided needless stress.

Maybe leave the potty around, and gently encourage use before bathtime, she might surprise you by suddenly starting to use it without prompting.

Agree with Seona - you can use pull-ups but still encourage the awareness and telling you when they need to go. DS was very keen to wear pants at 2.6, but wasn't ready at all - we switched to pull-ups and he wore those while he got the hang of it. Finally out of those just after 3 and it was easy.