What do doctors and nurses do differently with their children?

[lingle]

I've noticed some things in common in the half dozen or so "medical" parents that I'm acquainted with.

• they stand near the swings at the playground and seem more worried than the average parent about swings hitting heads

• they don't let their children run while eating and become very alert if they see any child coughing while eating. generally choking seems to be a big concern

• conversely, they are, if anything, less strict than other people I know about healthy foods

Coincidence or the results of their common hospital experience? Does this ring a bell with any of you medics or friends of medics?

I was a nurse's daughter and she was fairly blase about illnesses. We only got days off if we were VERY hot. When I had bad influenza I was left in bed along (at 12 or 13) with aspirin and water and she came home at lunch to check on me and rang occasionally.

Some of her attitude has rubbed off on me (though I don't leave sick children). I don't worry much about minor illnesses and lumps and bumps. However I FREAK if my children don't take their inhalers with then when their asthma is playing up. Mainly because it is inconsiderate to give people like teachers and grandparents and friends' parents angst over something easily relievable.

A friend of mine who is a GP tells me she finds it hard NOT to think about what minor ailments MIGHT be.

My DH (A&E doc) is generally very neglectful but will not let the DC ride horses and will never let them own a moped.

He is a bit fussy about food too, partic salt.

And he never gets man flu.

I was a doctor and I do tend to keep a close eye on banged heads, don't allow eating in back of car as choking risk but am otherwise mean and unsympathetic (according to dd1) about minor injuries. Am not paranoid about food but try to have majority of food healthy and don't like sweets (chocolate ok as I like it too )

I am a doctor and have postnatal hormone driven hyperanxiety about nothing e.g. sticky eyes. Then I get back to normal and am blase about everything. Our kids eat healthily in that they eat lots of fruit and veg but they also eat lots of breaded easy to prepare stuff and I don't care how much sugar they have or salt.

MIL was a nurse and FIL a GP. They were/are really blase about almost all things except head injuries. Both tried (and failed) to talk dh out of cycling on roads and wouldn't let him do it without a helmet (long before helmets were the norm).

Him and his siblings had to be at death's door before any medical complaints were taken seriously. Dh remembers being told not to make a fuss with a broken arm and shoulder (had to plead to be taken to A&E), and glandular fever.

They were never allowed to be off school ill.

I do know a family with an ENT surgeon dad who is really strict about toddlers and babies not having access to coins and bottle tops from evian type bottles because of choking. He didn't mind so much about all the little fiddly things that kids love but that most parents go mad over because they were too small to kill.

I know about audiology, and will not let my kids use headphones of any kind. They don't even bother arguing with me now, they know I won't budge.

both dh and i are docs

am completely paranoid about accidents...have seen too many after years working in A+E and some images still in my mind. high swings, roundabouts, those little scooter things when you see kids flying towards a busy road...arrgghh, no ironing around ds etc

(BTW i HATE the build up to the accident bit in casulaty - tv prog - can deal with the blood and guts, but the build up to the horrible accident, have to hide behind the sofa)

i'm also really into organic/healthy food (???anal)) and intend to BF as long as poss and try to keep the house as chemical free as poss. i think in years to come there will be studies to prove all those nasty parabens/preservatives/chemicals/mobile phones are a BAD thing, and in the meantime why take the risk???

when it comes to patients I've been known to call parents up in the evening to check if their lo's fever has gone down etc and probably err on the more cautious side of treatment/review etc in kids.

however minor illnesses in my ds - not bothered. calpol, a cuddle will do. ds would have to be very ill to go to a doc.

when he was first born i was USELESS. clueless. sick babies, resuscitation etc no probs. normal but unsettled baby, burping, etc not a bloody clue. even phoned a paed friend on day 3 to ask why ds was crying so much, he didn't know either. am def a better GP since being a mum.

long, sorry.

Me - daughter of a nurse; had to be at death's door before allowed to stay off school.

Dh - son of a nurse; whole family are utter hypochondriacs and probably the biggest national drain on the NHS (bil woke his sleeping son to take him 30 minutes to the nearest A&E as dnephew had bitten his tongue several hours earlier and bil decided that he ought to be reviewed); more sympathetic to minor ailments.

Dh - renal doctor - know nothing about anything other than kidneys and mutters about what do I think GPs are for (whilst monitoring use of ibuprofen).

Ooh, frogs, I'm curious about the audiology thing, you reckon they tend to damage hearing too easily, I guess??

My friend is a paed and was the same as you luvaduck when his DS was first born.

I remember going round when they had had a bad night, baby well just new born new parents etc, he said to me it would be easier if he were ill as he'd know what to do to make him better, as new parents they were that same as everyone else.

But there is an expectation that you will know what you're doing becasue you are medical. DH ad I were just as useless when we were parents first time round. 5 years down the road and 2 more children later I feel much more confident but it has nothing to do with my nursing.

I would agree with another point you make luvaduck - DH says he is a much better GP now that he has dealt with a pregnant women 3x and is a father!

LOL! My mum was a nurse and very very stern on such things as running while eating. And I knew how to look out for concussion from an early age.

But with regards to the usual child things it was all very business-like and the most frequent words of comfort were "you'll live"!

So wound up about hypotheticals and blase about actual injuries.

Obviously too long ago to worry about healthy eating.

Peanutbutterkid, in a word -- Yes.

The ear isn't designed to cope with that level of intensity. When we use student controls for experiments, we invariably find a good proportion with significant high-frequency hearing loss. There's a high correlation with a clubbing habit and/or personal stereo use.

We've managed to hold off buying the dc in-car DVD players, but if we were to do so I'd make them listen to it via the speakers, even if it meant me listening to the sound-track of Harry Potter for five hours on the trot.

ANyone with in-depth knowledge of hearing issues will tell you the same.

ah yes i am a bit funny about headphones
but its cos my dad is deaf, not cos im a nurse
i just put up with chitty chitty bang bang soundtrack in the car too

My mum is a nurse and we had to be virtually at death's door before getting a day off school (there is a theme emerging here ).

DH is an A&E doc and says over his dead body will the kids ever get on horses.

We are very laid back about most coughs/colds etc, hardly ever take the kids to the GP and neither has had antibiotics so far. BUT I am a bit prone to over-interpreting symptoms in the worst possible light - eg if they have a few bruises I panic about leukaemia and when dd says her knee hurts I immediately think "OMG what if it's bone cancer" . In my defence I'm a total hypochondriac and I don't ever bother my poor GP with my fantasy illnesses .

Both have had all their vaccines without DH or us doing any soul-searching.

totally agree with this by summatannowt

"So wound up about hypotheticals and blase about actual injuries"

you see - like programme casualty - build up to what MIGHT happen is awful, when it does, you just deal with it, and its usually not so bad!

oh and vaccinate all the way, without a 2nd thought.

I'm a paeds nurse,DH a GP
we are very blase about illness/accident I am afraid.
DS went a week with a broken leg when he was 2.I even took him on holiday never dreamt it was broken,just kept dosing him up on calpol.
None of my 4 DCs have ever been to the GP. We self medicate constantly!

I think I am much less risk averse than most parents mainly due to laziness. eg have never got round to cupboard locks or childproofing the house at all.

Hardly ever take DD to GP as I think antibiotics are very overused and tend to just wait for ear infections etc to pass and break out the calpol. But she has had all jabs inc MMR

I would never prescribe for family or try to diagnose as i do think you are too close and you would never forgive yourself if you got it wrong. eg thought dh had man flu for about 2 weeks when it was pneumonia- ooops!

However I am a psychiatrist so many would say not a proper Dr at all!

pathofleastresistance - I swallowed a 2p coin as a toddler and my parent were just told to wait for it to be discharged naturally (raking through poo - nice!) which it did, a day later, with no ill effects.

On the other hand my sister almost choked to death on a peanut aged 3 and was held upside down by the feet by my dad and banged on the back til it popped out (not sure this is quite what's recommended!!) but he was desperate, she was blue in the face.

It's swings, roundabouts and the luck of the draw!

Should add that possibly it's the small fiddly things that get stuck in a child's windpipe? Is there a nurse/doctor in the house to verify? Any?!?!

I'm a nurse.

There has to be blood dripping through the ceiling for me to panic - I tend to go with the cuddle and paracetamol train of thought. Can count on one hand the number of times we've seen the GP and have only had to go to A&E once, and I've got 3 girls aged 2-nearly 10 (might be different if I'd had boys!)

DD2 has a genetic disorder causing disability, SN and medical problems so being a nurse comes in handy as I know the system and can be a powerful advocate for her

I am pretty hot on safety ie car seats, no eating in car, don't run around with things in mouth etc, but am pretty laid back on everything else - all things in moderation food and drink wise (except for DD2).

Thanks for the info, Frogs. I will keep that in mind!

I am not a med person, but this thread makes me feel much better about being laid back. Like there was a thread where someone's toddler had bumped head, came up with an egg (no other signs of problems), and most replies were tuttering how the baby must be rushed to A&E, and I thought "It looks horrible, but she's happy in herself, and surely it will go down in an hour?" etc.

DH and I both docs - both done paediatric and A+E placements...

In our family we,

1. Vaccinate them with anything they are eligible for.

2. avoid antibiotics

3. don't give them paracetamol/ibuprofen unless they are in pain or their fever stops them sleeping.

4. never give medised/calpol night

5. embrace dirt!

6. no eating/drinking in the car or while walking about (choking risk)

7)if there isn't a suitable car seat and it is pouring with rain / snowing - we still walk.

Like all new parents we worry constantly that there is actually something seriously wrong everytime he coughs or cries - but we have a larger and slightly scarier list of possibilities to choose from! When something actually is wrong we are liable to ignore it away for a while (we have both accidently been to work with pneumonia ourselves thinking it was just a cold and that the heating in the hospital was a bit hot so our kids have got no chance of swinging the lead when they are older!)

In contrast - anyone else's kids get taken far more seriously than our own poor offspring and friends' kids always get directed to A+E/GP because the closeness clouds your judgement.