I have a fussy eater-if you invited him round for tea with you dc should I tell you he's fussy or ..

[brimfull]

not mention it in the hope that 6 yr old ds will eat what's give or totally piss you off by not eating it.

I am talking pasta here.

He willl eat all manner of veg but no sauce/pasta sort of thing.

Oh and if it's not already embarrassing enough he's also allergic to nuts with epipen and all that .

bump

I would say 'sorry x is really terribly picky. Either do him whatever but dont be concerned if he doesnt eat it, or if you want to pander he likes x y and z. Oh by the way he's allergic to peanuts and has an epipen. Byeeeee! See you at 6-ish'

yes have grovelled and apologised

this woman's face was gradually falling into a miserable scowl ,wishing she'd never bloody asked

god I hate it

am going to enforce school dinners on him

kill or cure

yes I bet she was scowling

oh well she knows now

I would say if he's fussy. I did chips once with something, thinking surely all kids like chips but this one didn't, so he went without and the chips were wasted. I didn't mind, but felt bad that I hadn't asked his mum first as he'd not had alot of tea.

similar happened last week I asked about pizza - yes loves pizza especially pepperami. Great, except I didn't buy the right pepperami one, so again he went without.

To be honest, if I had a fussy eater, I would go down the line of "x can be quite fussy with food, so don't worry if he doesn't eat dinner. I apologise in advance "

Then ask if he ate dinner, and just give toast later if not.

I have a mega fussy DS, and my prepared speech on these occasions is: 'He's not too keen on food, so please don't make anything special and please don't be offended if he doesn't eat. Apart from that he'll be v good'

I don't say 'please don't start a thread about my fussy son on Mumsnet' but secretely this is what I'm thinking.

If I'm inviting a child round, I always ask the child directly what they like for tea. But if they eat they eat, if they don't they don't, it's no big deal. The whole point of a play date is to have fun and eating isn't fun for every child.

If I was having a child around who I hadn't had before I'd probably stick to something safe like sausages and chips anyway... but would usually ask the parent what they liked. I have fussy eaters too and if one of mine was going for tea I'd probably say something along the lines of what Enid said...

I don't think mine are fussy until they go to someone's house and of course they get given the absolute one thing they can not stand eating I don't apologise if they don't eat it.

Like Stinky I normally ask the mother or the child what their favourite is and give them some kind of crap delightful pudding that for sure they will eat. Perhaps you can casually drop into conversation that his favourite meal is x?

I would like to be forewarned about fussy eaters, so that I could try to find something which they and moderately fussy dd would both like. However, if they didn't eat much I'd not be overly concerned (I certainly don't do the rushing-out-to-the-kitchen-to-make-an-emergency-sandwich thing).

I'd definitely want to know about allergies.

I've used an approach similar to Stinkymonkeys. dd just liked her food very plain, and hated sauces. If the parent asks for a suggestion I'm happy to give one, but will always say that if she doesn't et not to do anything special for her. Luckily she is very good when visiting, so her pickiness impacts less on other parents because they have already warmed to her (unless they are my mother!). She has got much better over the years, and loves to please (everyone except me) so will try things she wouldn't attempt at home.

I also teach her polite ways to behave around food. Better to say, just a little please, or I'm not very hungry. Always try etc etc. Never say I hate that, or that looks horrible...

I'd want all the info. I'd just like him to have a nice time. I'd cook him what he wants - you're the mother, it's your issue/challenge to deal with whatever food issues he has - I just want him to enjoy his time as a guest in our house.

he's alwasy been to friends that know him quite well before re. the allergies ,first time he's gone to someone I don't really know

Definitely mention the allergies and if it was me, I'd like to know about the pasta / sauce thing because that's so easy to avoid! I would also be asking what his fav foods are, so I'm surprised the other mum hasn't asked anything at all BUT saying those 3 things is absolutely fine and isn't alot at all . I would expect a MUCH longer list!