love spoon as wedding gift - advice re: number of babies symbol

[bethdivine]

My friends are getting married and I want to buy them a love spoon as a keepsake of their day. They have twins, so I want to get one of the ones that has the balls in the middle to sumbolise the number of children they have. However, my friend was actually carrying triplets and lost one at 28 weeks. So, do you think I should get a 2-ball lovespoon, for the 2 happy children she has, or a 3-ball lovespoon for all the children she has carried and delivered? I just can't decide what would be best. any opinions most welcome, TIA.

i would probably say 3 to show you have remembered their lost baby

Three is in the spirit of the lovespoon giving, ie more emotional/spiritual than actual IYSWIM.

Lovely thought/gift that I'm sure would be most cherished by your friend.

Three

Three

are you sure this is a good idea? i dont want to put a damper on things, but on my wedding day if i received a gift that upset me (as some people would want two/ some three symbols and feel one is more apropriate) i would feel put out

I wouldn't want to be reminded of such an unhappy event on what is supposed to be a happy day, celebrating the partnership rather than the children and would question why someone would feel the need to do that.
If I was the giver I would also steer well clear of such a gift altogether. Whether they want to include their dearly departed third in any way is their very personal choice and theirs only.

Blimey, do you really want to ruin her wedding day by making a big point about her dead baby? You can't avoid giving a really, really bad message no matter how many balls you choose. Find another gift!

I wouldn't know anything about balls n spoons tbh, so it would ruin nothing for me as the meaning would fly over my head.

Do you think your friends would grasp the significance/count the balls on the day itself?

I would still give three but wouldn't go all out to explain as such (on the day). I am sure they will be remembering the three little faces they should have had around them on the day instead of the two they have now - it is very personal but I'm sure after the event your friends could not be cross you included their missing angel in your gift.

We got a traditional lovespoon for our wedding and were very pleased with it (never noticed no balls tho)

Am not Welsh (well only 1/8 Welsh thanks to Nanna) tho so not au fait with the exact meaning execpt it is good luck?!?

I feel cheated - ain't got no balls

what onm earth is a love spoon? it sounds rude tbh

If you are a close friend who she spoke to about her LO and you mark the anniversary etc with her then yes give it but otherwise, not for her wedding day. its not right IMO

I love love spoons-as I should as a Welsh girl.
Dh made me one

not for her wedding day

i think you will get it "wrong" whichever way you do it, although your intentions are sweet

In her position would be touched by and appreciate the three balls instead of two. I don't think it is making a big point or 'reminding' of something they won't be forgetting anyway tbh. That third triplet is always going to be part of their lives. I would go for the three.

My welsh DH gave me a lovespoon as an engagement pressie (as well as the ring of course.

I agree with the others, if she will know straight away the symbolism I'd wait till after the wedding. If she doesn't realise then it may be a conversation for later after the wedding's over and she appreciates the symbolism.

lovespoon

Come on now! It's not as if she is going to open the gift minutes before she walks down the aisle for goodness sake. In all likelihood it will be opened after the wedding, if she is getting away for a few days then potentially then. SHe is not going to be blubbing in her wedding dress because of the balls in her spoon.

I think it's a lovely idea bethdivine, and 3 for sure.

Three, without a doubt.