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Parenting

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Original poster

Have DD1s new friend over for playdate tomorrow, what if they don't play!

14 replies

Lisa229 · 30/09/2008 12:36

This is going to sound like a silly thing to worry about but my dd1 has a friend from reception coming over for a play tomorrow after school. She has only known her a few weeks and both girls are quite shy and have taken time to settle in school. I asked DD1 who she would like to have over and she said this girl which is lovely. But DD1 tends to be a bit shy on playdates, even with friends she has played with every week so I am worried that she won't actually want to play with her. Last week she got together with a friend she was very close to from nursery who she hadn't seen for a few weeks and she didn't speak to her the whole time without me prompting or really play with her.

Should I get out some crafty things for them to do or just leave them to it and see what happens? The friend's mum will be over too and I don't know her apart from to say hi to, so feel like I am back at school again!

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GooseyLoosey · 30/09/2008 12:37

I would leave them to it but have crafty activities in reserve in case it does not work out and they need a helping hand.

compo · 30/09/2008 12:38

very similar thread here

compo · 30/09/2008 12:39

maybe you can panic together

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Smithagain · 30/09/2008 13:01

I quite often have some craft/colouring things on the dining table, so that if they seem at a loss, I can point them in that direction. It seems to break the ice. And if things are awkward between you and the mum, helping the girls will give you both something to do!

I still do this for DD1 who's in Year 2, if someone it coming round for the first time.

Original poster

Lisa229 · 30/09/2008 13:02

thank you compo, have just hijacked a bit to try and get advice from mums of girls....pathetic to panic I know, DD1 has friends over all the time but this is the first new one from school and as she has been unsettled since she started 3 weeks ago, I really want it to go well, may help boost her confidence regards school....

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JuneBugJen · 30/09/2008 13:05

Send them upstairs with a ton of dressing up stuff and cruddy make up etc (as long as you dont mind it going everywhere.)

Tell them to stay up there and make up a 'play' about princesses or pirates (whatever they want!) that will be preformed to you and her mum when the hand on the clock reaches whatever time (I usually give it 20 mins!)

Get you and the other mum to do a very boring task which wont appeal to them (peeling spuds or something)

Being out of the way of hovering mothers I think really works with mine on a 'first date' and this is a fantastic way of getting them to bond. A bit of mess and tons of plastic jewellery seems to be a key thing.

Hope all goes well!

JuneBugJen · 30/09/2008 13:06

They can even do posters 'advertising' they play. put out a big sheet to make sure her room doesnt get too messy!

Smithagain · 30/09/2008 13:09

Cor JBJ - I'm impressed and I'm going to nick your idea next time things seem a bit slow!

JuneBugJen · 30/09/2008 13:11

I am the guru of all things to keep the dcs out of the way whilst gossiping with mums!

Original poster

Lisa229 · 30/09/2008 13:21

Thanks for those tips Smithagain and JuneBugJen....DD1 isn't so hot on dressing up but likes messing around with make up at the moment....will get the crafts out too...As for tea, should I check with the mum what the friend likes? Was going to do spag bol or tuna pasta.

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Fennel · 30/09/2008 13:24

Don't you get bored witless watching the interminable "plays" though?

I send our playdates to clean out the guinea pigs. A very popular activity and useful too.

Or if they aren't playing together very well I let the visitor root through the toys in the bedrooms, it's a rare child who doesn't love to fossick in other children's bedrooms.

Original poster

Lisa229 · 30/09/2008 13:27

Oh and another thing, do your DCs tend to tell you who they want to invite or can I invite others?

Am asking because been chatting to another mum at the school gates who seems nice and would like to invite her over after school but her DD and my DD do not actually play together? So probably as much for me to get to know mum as DD1 to get to know girl, is that allowed?

God, I sound so neurotic asking such stupid questions, sorry!

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JuneBugJen · 30/09/2008 13:45

Oh no Fennel...the plays never seem to materialise and if they do they last 2 minutes! Its the production that is key at her age (age 4)!

Its an old trick of my mothers. I think it can backfire once the dcs are older as the plays will start to lengthen, but at least you have an hour of peace first.

JuneBugJen · 30/09/2008 13:45

And the more the merrier in my books Lisa229

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