Please judge me - do i have PND?

[dontbitemytoes]

I went to see my hv yesterday who has scared me

i am a happy, lively outgoing person who finds motherhood hard. Great, but hard. I admitted as much to my hv when i had dd weighed for the first time in about 4 months.

dd is a very sicky baby who has allergies and difficulties feeding. she is 12mo and walking well and starting to talk. She needs constant attention - i mean constant have to cary her when i'm doing something in the kitchen/up high so she can see, have to sing to her, sign with her or play with her most of the time. i might get the odd 10 minutes on computer/sat still if i am on the floor next to her whilst she plays but not more than this.

i am also one of those people (i really cant change i'm sorry) who needs to keep on top of housework to relax.

i have always been a stresshead and worry about everything. am regularly tense and dont really do relaxing very well

since becoming pregnant i ahve felt the responsibility of motherhood and started clenching my jaw (involuntarily) - this still continues although now i barely notice it.

my hv told me to watch out for the dark days and to keep talking to her and to people, make time for myself and speak to the doctor about medication if i'm worried.

i was . i only told her so i could get reassurance that everyone finds it hard and now i feel depressed!!!

dh thinks i am no different to how i have ever been, except now more tired! he thinks i am coping fine.

please can you tell me whether in your opinion i sound depressed? thanks.

I'm not really in a position to judge, but this post doesn't sound like someone who is depressed to me. If you don't think you are, and DH doesn't think you are, and you feel things with your baby are generally getting better, then it doesn't seem like depression IYSWIM?

With some people it can be an obsessive need to keep in control of things, but if you've always been like that and it hasn't been a problem then that's probably just you.

But then, I take the view that hv's can be quite insane, on the basis of the two I have personally met .

your HV sounds mad - you sound like any other normal mummy to me. It IS bloody hard work being a mum and anyone who tells you it is anything other than that is a big fat liar!

The only thing i would say is that you DO need to learn to relax, maybe some herbal remedies or something. There is no shame in saying that things are tough, but you certainly dont sound like a candidate for happy pills. I am not against happy pills, i take them myself, but only you know how you feel.

phew was worried about worrying then!

i am a bit of a control freak, but i always have been, at least since being an adult i have been (when did that happen? Adulthood i mean?!)

i told a couple of close friends and a lot of other colleagues today, the colleagues laughed at the thought of me being diagnosed as depressed, and my friends are running round to try and "help" me!!!! I have told them off I haven't changd overnight, it's just my hv has worried me!!

thanks for your input . i used to be into armatherapy (when i had time!) and i'm going to get old all my old stuff to help myself....

I suggest that you do the Edinburgh scale and answer it honestly. It sometimes takes more courage to be honest than to put on a good face. You don't have to share the results with anyone.

www.patient.co.uk/showdoc/40002172/

Denial is a common symptom and people on the internet have no way of judging someone's mental state. The nature of bullitin boards is that you can post whatever you like.

If you do get a high score on the Edinburgh scale then I suggest you talk to a health professional whether its your GP or health visitor. Postnatal depression does not go away on its own. You don't necesarily have to take anti depressants if you don't want to. There are other ways of treating depression.

Admitally I think its a mistake not to take anti depressants if you are severely depressed. They really helped me and I wish I took them sooner. They aren't addictive and I have been off medication for four years. The anti depressants gave me the temporary lift needed to change my life. For example I went back to work full time.

i wandered in to say to op, in response to title, "if you think you're depressed then you probably are" ...but on reading the thread, this does apply but so does the statement that if you don't (honestly) think you are, you probably aren't.
I had pnd twice (out of three), and my god i certainly knew it. Denied it, hid it, the works, but knew it. Like terminal pmt and another head on my shoulders. You haven't hit any of the 'alarm bells' with me in your description, so you sound pretty normal to me I guarantee that if you had pnd, IMHO you would defo be putting things quite differently in the OP. Carry on as you are, double check Edinburgh Scale questionnaire if you can, but try to enjoy your baby and ignore HV's paranoia if you wish. tbh i think they are terrified of missing someone - the irony of this is that the midwives picked it up with me both times, hv's were nowhere near it.