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3rd Child or bad idea?

40 replies

szturner · 23/09/2008 17:32

I have a DS who's 3 and a DD who's 20 months and I love them to bits eventhough they are constantly at each others throats! Would it be a bad idea to have a third? What are the con's of having a 3rd child - transport, holidays etc. Does 3 mean that there is always one left out? Please help me, I don't want to make a mistake We were planning on booking my DH for the snip but I couldn't go ahead as not 100% my DH is also sitting on the fence. Any advise would be greatly appreciated

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georgimama · 25/09/2008 11:26

Rempy, the middle child in my family (DB2) is the most confident, outgoing, gregarious, popular person in the world. Everyone loves him. He would quiet nauseating if he wasn't so lovely.

You're just thinking that because your DS is 6 weeks old. Fret not.

georgimama · 25/09/2008 11:27

Quiet nauseating?

Quite nauseating.

There's nothing quiet about him.

MamaG · 25/09/2008 19:21

fiofio you prob won't remember but when I was first pg and posting under anohter panicky name, I still remember the joy in your posts about dc3 - made me feel a lot calmer about having three children

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szturner · 25/09/2008 21:01

I was one of three (eldest) and got on very well with my sister (4 yrs younger) but was horrible/didn't like my brother who was 8 yrs younger, not sure if it was the age gap or just a clash? Rempy, My sister is by far the most confident level headed of us all so can't say that being the middle one has had any bad effects on her If we do have a third will be looking in the next 6 months so my youngest will be 3 and eldest will be just over 4. Is it possible to get 3 kids and two adults into a VW Golf .

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Weegiemum · 26/09/2008 11:16

We had 2, and I was desperate for a 3rd for ages - but got my head round it as i had been ill having ds (dc2) and dh was really not keen.

Just when I got my head round it my mirena coil fell out and I got pg with dd2, now almost 5 (ds is 22 months older, dd1 2 more years older). I had 3 under 4, it was bloody hard work for a while, but worth every moment.

I was seriously unwell during and after pregnancy with dd2, had 30 hospital admissions in 3 years for a kidney problem. Still bothers me sometimes.

But now ... wow! We have 3 children in school. They play well, they have fun, they end up sleeping in the same bed! We had a holiday this summer that involved us going to London and Paris, taking in the sights, museums, art galleries, etc - all the stuff dh and I would have done alone. They are fabulous! I love watching the different relationships develop, though occasionally feel sorry for ds with 2 very strong willed sisters!!

I seriously love having 3 kids. Even with all the struggles and pain my kidney stones have caused, I never for a moment wish we hadn't had dd2. We would never have had her if it had been our own choice, but we really feel she was meant to be.

Like OP, we had thought about the snip after ds, but I wasn't sure enough. He did have the op, and while I was still pg with dd2, as my doctors had said another pregnancy would mean I would lose a kidney and could have killed me.

When they are little you don't need a people carrier - if at all. What did people do before people carriers - you just all crammed in the back of an ordinary car! For the first 2 years at least you dont need extra rooms, and now we have discovered the delights of Youth Hostelling where we can easily get a family room, or self catering.

I don't agree with the people who say "well you might as well have 4". I didn't want 4. I am happy and delighted with my 3!! Don't let people put you off if you and dh really want another - it is worth it, it really is!

Weegiemum · 26/09/2008 11:19

BTW I have just put 3 kids aged 8, 6 and 4 into a Citroen C2 with my parents (and waved goodbye till Sunday - its a school holiday here this weekend).

There are narrow fit car seats! We got a huuuuge Britax thing plus two (Graco I think) Boosters in the back of an Astra (though we now have a goooooorgeous Zafira!) and in fact a rear facing baby seat, and 2 huge britax toddler seats in an Astra as well - though the first time we tried it was when we were leaving hospital with dd2 -so were worried for a moment!!!

katedan · 26/09/2008 13:59

Same as Egg, we wanted 3 children when we got married, then had DS and thought just one more then got pregnant with ID twins so have 3 anyway. DS is 5 and DT's are 22 months and I love having 3 kids. Yes it is more expensive as we had to get bigger car and holidays are difficult but I like the fact we don't have the stereotypical 2.4 kids (although nat average is now 1.9!!) and it is so fun watching them all play together.

I am surprised there is this recent eco argumant about having less children as currently there is not enough babies being born to support the country in 30/40 years (when we want to retire) in contributions towards schools, pensions NHS. We should be like France and give finacial incentives for every child you have over 2!!!

noonki · 26/09/2008 14:06

Hurray for this thread !! I am going to force DH to read it

szturner · 26/09/2008 15:59

You guys have been great, thank you sooooo much for your input, will let you all know what we decide to do . Any more input in the meantime would be great, thanks guys!

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szturner · 02/10/2008 13:50

Still having issues, heart says yes and head saying know - feel like I am going crazzzey!

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BabyBaby123 · 02/10/2008 14:02

why do you have to have them so close together?? don't rush into anything - i would say enjoy the two you have, get a semi permanent method of contraception and see how you feel in a year or two. I've never understood this need to have a baby every year or two - why not spread it out and enjoy it more? i have 4 years between ds and dd and will have 5 years between dd and db. I can't wait to have a newborn again because I've waited - makes it more special imho.

coochybottom · 02/10/2008 14:27

IMO if you have 3 you are outnumbered. I have 3 children but only planned 2. My 2nd turned out to be twins! Some things you cant plan for!! [You could end up with 4!!!]

coochybottom · 02/10/2008 14:31

PS:Size of car and holidays are a consideration. My DH said he would never have a people carrier but had to to accomodate the car seats. Also not many hotel rooms sleep 5. Sorry to be so negative, just pointing out the other side of the situation.

szturner · 02/10/2008 15:25

BabyBaby, know what you are saying about age gap but husband nearly 40 and doesn't want to be a realy old dad! Holidays shouldn't be a problem, discovered the delights of staying in a caravan (big one) with plenty of beds and when we plan our big holiday to America in quite a few years time will be renting a villa. I am very close to my sister brother-in-law and mum & dad who always holiday with us so third child could sleep with either couple (sister only has a dd).

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mumof2andabit · 02/10/2008 15:58

I love this thread! I have 2.4yo ds and 6month dd and am pregnant with no.3 this thread has made me feel even happier about it!

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