DD is two (28 months) and she is a good little girl and we are lucky enough that she says please and thank you usually and sorry if she has hurt someone.
DH and I also ask her to say, "down please" (or her version of it ) before leaving the table and to wait until everyone has finsihed. In our eye, just basic manners.
She is however a toddler and as such has the emotions and logic of a toddler and we do acept this.
Today, DD and I were at a family bbq and I said to DD that it was time to go home. She immediately started crying and flailing, as they do, so I knelt down in front of her and said firmly, but gently, "DD, stop crying now and listen to Mummy. Stop crying. That's better, right - would you like to play for five minutes more before we go?". She obviously said yes and we had a hug and she toddled off to play. I thought I handled it well. DD had calmed down and I had explained that she doesn't need to cry and strop to get what she wants.
The thing is, when I looked up as she toddled off I caught MIL giving me a really disaproving look and looking at DD as if to say, "Poor little thing, being told to stop acting like a toddler."
DH and I are happy that we are treating DD fairly. We have lots of silly moments, chasing and tickling and squealing, but we do expect her to have boundaries. We always have lots of kisses and hugs and she is told and showed often how loved she is, but are we being overly harsh?
Not sure what's prompted this post - I just had a real crap-mummy feeling this afternoon.
BTW - after the five minutes she was quite happy to say goodbye and get in the car, so it's obviously working - I think. (worried emoticon)